Guest Writer Spot

If you’d like to be included in this slot, please get in touch: estherchilton@gmail.com. Poems can be up to 60 lines and prose 2000 words. If you’d like to add a short bio and photo, then great. All I ask is that there’s nothing offensive.

This week I’d like to welcome Dan Ince to my Guest Writer Spot. Dan has recently started to take up my writing challenges and has produced some brilliantly creative pieces. It’s his first time as my Guest Writer. I hope you enjoy his story as much as I did.

If The Shoe Fits

By

Dan Ince

At 3pm the following day after the event, a group of girls were led into a room and told to stand in a line. 

They lined up more or less in age order, starting from nineteen at the younger end of the line to twenty-six at the other. A nervous energy cast over them as a tall, handsome man walked into the room, accompanied by an assistant. 

The assistant carried a ladies shoe and notably cast his gaze across the feet of the girls standing lined up before him. The tall, handsome man focussed more on their faces, and his eyes slowly moved from girl to girl, securing eye contact with any of those able to meet his eyes. Most of the girls unconsciously flicked their hair or patted down their clothes.

“Hello, ladies,” said the tall, handsome man. 

He stretched out an arm and motioned to his assistant, “This is my associate, Stuart, and he’s going to be helping me today.”

Noting an almost imperceptible nod in his direction, Stuart addressed the awaiting girls. 

“Ladies,” he said, “you may have noticed I have a shoe with me today. I don’t want to take up too much of your time, only for as long as it takes for you to try on this shoe.”

The eight girls, almost synchronised, took a look at the shoe, then at Stuart, and then at the tall, handsome man. 

“Are we all clear?” Stuart said. 

He looked across at the girls for some form of affirmation, even though he had a job to do and was going to do it anyway. 

He started with the girl closest to him, the youngest at nineteen. As if to punctuate the fact, she periodically rolled a blob of chewing around her mouth from cheek to cheek. 

Stuart put the shoe on her foot. Once in place, the girl held up her leg so her foot dangled in the air and the shoe practically fell off without any encouragement. 

He moved onto the next. This girl’s feet were bigger than the first girl’s feet, but not so much that it wasn’t worth the effort. Initially, her foot slid into the shoe. But when introducing her heel to the shoe, Stuart needed to apply force, so much so that he conceded defeat and moved onto the next girl in the line. 

He gave the tall, handsome man a glance and a slight shoulder-shrug. The man stood quietly, wearing a patient, yet somehow charming smile and offered another barely imperceptible nod to Stuart to continue.

As Stuart worked down the line, he found issues with each. There were a couple of girls whose feet easily fit inside the shoe, but with a practiced feel around the end of it, his fingers prodding around to locate the toes, he ascertained they were not the owners. 

There were several with feet either so small or so large, he discounted them immediately, but still tried them for size so as not to offend those girls in particular.

He arrived at the eldest and final girl. The most blonde of the girls with the electric blue eyes. Unkempt and with a retreating demeanour, she barely made eye contact with either the tall, handsome man or Stuart.

Stuart gently took her foot and slid the shoe into place. The perfect fit. He pressed around where the toes should be and sure enough, each were positioned where he’d expect them to be. He looked up and saw her eyes were wide and her body had a slight quiver.

The tall, handsome man smiled that charming smile of his.

“Thank you, ladies,” he said, raising his arm in the direction of the door and watching them file out of the room.

He turned to Stuart. 

“Large party for an armed robbery. Unusual for them all to be female too,” he said.

“What’s so important about the shoe?” Stuart asked.

“Eye witnesses have told us the one who fired the shot who killed the security guard lost their shoe as they were fleeing the scene.”

The tall, handsome man turned to the girl with the perfectly fitting shoe.

“Please, take a seat,” he said, “My name’s Detective Carver, and I’m arresting you on suspicion of murder.”

***

Dan Ince Bio

Dan Ince is father to three and husband to one. When he’s not wrangling children and developing software for a living, he’ll be learning languages, reading or at the cinema. He can also be found writing a short story or two, uploading coffee break-sized fiction to danince.com

***

Image credit: Pinterest

38 responses to “Guest Writer Spot”

  1. I like this piece of short fiction. It’s descriptive and with a great twist and the end. Thank you for sharing it with us, Dan.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Lynn – so pleased you liked it!

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Thanks for your comment, Lynn. Glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I must add that I have just subscribed to Dan’s website. There are some great pieces of short fiction on there.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. And thank you for the subscribe too. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome, Dan. I look forward to reading more of your work.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thanks for your comment, Lynn. I always look forward to reading Dan’s work.

        Like

    2. He’s a great fiction writer. I always enjoy his stories.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. squirreljan Avatar
    squirreljan

    Really enjoyed reading this – great twist which I did not see coming.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you – I didn’t know if I’d hid it well enough so pleased to hear that. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    2. I agree – a great twist.

      Like

  4. I thoroughly enjoyed his story, Esther! Looks like the detective was using this method to find the girl who would be arrested for murder. Thank you so much for sharing this, Esther! ☺️

    I’m thinking about some more poetry to share as a future guest post. I hope that’d be an inspiring one. ☺️

    Have a very wonderful weekend!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Aptivi – I enjoyed reading your poem from the Guest Spot a couple of weeks ago too. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re most welcome, Dan. Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it ☺️

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Thanks you so much for your lovely comment. You have a wonderful weekend too.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re most welcome, Esther. Thank you so much! ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s so nice to read this fascinating piece with a surprising ending from Dan Ince, Esther! 😍

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, T. W – pleased to hear the twist came out as I was hoping.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. My pleasure, Dan. 😊

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Really glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad too, Esther. 😍

        Liked by 1 person

  6. a fantastic story with a wonderful twist! xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Carol anne – I was hoping the Cinderella tale would still resonate!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thanks, Carol Anne. I completely agree.

      Like

  7. Excellent short story. Well done!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Darlene! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Thank you for your comment, Darlene ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Dan Ince Avatar
    Dan Ince

    Hi Esther!

    Thank you for having me and my little Cinderella short story in your Guest Spot this week. I’ve really been enjoying these spots and your weekly challenges and consequently very grateful to be included in this week’s slot.

    I’d also like to thank all in the community I’ve met so far who have kept me inspired with their kind comments and interactions.

    Have a good weekend all. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Dan. It was a pleasure to feature one of your stories. As you can see from the comments, you really can tell a fab story with a great twist 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Wow, that was quite a twist at the end. It had me thinking it was a reinterpretation of Cinderella.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It was a great twist, I agree, Andrew. Thank you for your comment.

      Like

    2. So pleased you liked the twist – thank you! Prince Charming (I mean Detective Carver) got his girl in the end. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Loubythesea61 Avatar
    Loubythesea61

    I love this twist on the classic Cinderella tale and very much like Dan’s style. His entries on your challenges are always a joy to read 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, Lou – both for reading and the kind words. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I agree, Lou. He’s got a great imagination – like you 😊

      Like

      1. Loubythesea61 Avatar
        Loubythesea61

        Aww..thanks Esther🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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