I’ve missed setting this one, so here’s your new story challenge. Can you tell a story in 54 words using the following words in it somewhere:
- PASTRAMI
- GUITAR
- MAZE
- BURGLAR
- WAX
The previous challenge was to write a story in 62 words using the following six words in it somewhere:
- BREAKDANCE
- VACCINE
- MARTINI
- SHIFTY
- WOODPECKER
- HOROSCOPE
Here are your wonderful stories:
Crazy from the Shot
My horoscope said it would be a hard, cold winter for me, so I got my flu vaccine. I’m not sure what the heck was in that shot because my balance feels shifty, and I look like I’m trying to breakdance.
“Hmm, maybe it was the martini I drink just before getting the vaccine?”
The woodpecker behind the bar noded in agreement.
Nicola Daly:
‘I can’t work out what this month’s horoscope means. It says that: ‘I’ll go for a walk in the woods and bump into a tall, dark handsome hunk dressed in a woodpecker costume…’
‘Sounds a bit shifty.’
‘And then we’ll breakdance into the sunset and live happily ever after.’
‘So, will that be before you go for your Martini Vaccine, or after?’
My horoscope for the day said to be wary of the shifty woodpecker. It would come to me and offer a weird vaccine disguised as a martini. If I took this strange concoction, one of the side effects would be that I would start breakdancing uncontrollably for hours on end, until I collapsed out of sheer exhaustion.
Bad Side Effects
My daily horoscope warned me of possible uncomfortable events! I shouldn’t have gotten my flu vaccine after a couple of martinis for lunch. Afterwards, I had worrying side effects: a desire to breakdance at my age, a continuous noise in my ears that reminded me of Woody Woodpecker’s famous laugh, and a nervous tic in my eye that made me look shifty!
Fandango:
At dawn, a woodpecker outside Mark’s bedroom window woke him up. Mark checked his horoscope, which warned of a shifty surprise before noon.
Later that morning, while practicing some breakdance moves at the park, he found a missing vaccine cooler. A grateful doctor soon appeared, reclaiming it. To celebrate, he mixed a sparkling martini for himself and treated Mark to a beer.
Mischief And Moonwalks
At breakdance class, Van spun like a teen,
As she'd had her anti-aging vaccine,
She mixed a Martini, shaken not stirred,
Then did a shifty slide like a bird,
A woodpecker drummed on a chair,
While a horoscope flew through the air,
A hobbyhorse pranced past the door,
Then moonwalked proudly across the floor,
How they laughed that afternoon,
Promising they'd do it again very soon.
Aptivi’s Joyful Corner:
The Chaotic Dancefloor
A man was sitting in a shifty environment of a bar while being equipped with his martini glass. He looked at a circular dancefloor with shapes from the horoscope embossed on the floor, with another man dancing to music with his breakdance moves and his head swings like a woodpecker, similar to how weak germs from a vaccine move around the body.
“No, I can’t,” spoke the writer with sadness. “I might use ‘Woodpecker, Shift, and Horoscope; but I can’t see my being able to crowbar ‘Martini, Breakdance, and Vaccine’ into my story.”
“Oh,” said Esther. “But, you usually manage with the strange concoction of words that I give you.”
“I know… but we are all fallible, and I know when to concede defeat.”
I woke up that morning stiff and tired so I automatically checked my horoscope along with a Martini for breakfast to feel better. Then I looked out my window only to see a woodpecker pecking at my window so that woodpecker inspired to get my flu vaccine but the person giving me my vaccine was very shifty and when I was done getting my vaccine I was so glad to get out of there so glad I decided to breakdance.
The Warning
According to my horoscope, I should avoid anyone shifty today.
Five minutes later, a woodpecker attacked the window, the neighbour began to breakdance on his driveway, and my husband walked in carrying a martini.
“Don’t ask,” he said. “I’ve had my vaccine.”
I stared at him.
“The vaccine explains the martini?”
“No. It explains why I’m not breakdancing.”
Fair enough, I suppose.
Rall:
my horoscope
gave a warning about alcohol
and bird flu
will get a vaccine to ward off
the woodpecker bird flu virus
and forgo the martinis tonight
going to be hard breakdancing with
those shifty types stone cold sober
Wisdom of Elders
Grandma was new to swearing, so when she called Dr. Fauci a “woodpecker”, I did a ‘spit take’!
She was sipping her evening martini while watching him shamelessly promote the effectiveness of the “experimental vaccine”.
“Shifty bastards! Look at those liars practically breakdancing with glee!”
Grandma called it “poison”.
When my horoscope encouraged trusting the wisdom of elders we stood in agreement.
Have you ever seen a woodpecker breakdance?
No, I thought not.
I blame that shifty bartender who couldn’t make a martini to save his life. It tasted like an out of date vaccine.
Funny though my horoscope said that luck would come knocking on my door and I would be surprised by the delivery.
Yeah, that dancing bird certainly jarred my senses.
Susan Batten:
Last week, Priscilla Woodpecker’s horoscope advised me to lay off the Martini and warned of a general shortage of anti-breakdance vaccine, which would, of course, be needed for the run-up to Christmas. However, in her photo in the magazine, she has a rather shifty look, so I don’t know whether to take her advice seriously or not. Besides, I like Martini.
I met a pretty shifty horoscope reader who handed me a martini before my reading. I didn’t think much of it at first until I realized the reader had inhaled a pitcher as if it were a vaccine. His next move was to declare my zodiac sign to be a woodpecker with the breakdance as its sole talent. He gave me a piece of wood before passing out.
Breaking Barefoot
Today’s horoscope advised Tanya to get the martini vaccine before going to Bubba’s Bistro for the Breakdancing Championship. Who knew the serum would transform her into a shifty woodpecker magnet? All night long a wayward descent of unruly woodpeckers divebombed her mercilessly. Bubba’s bouncers were useless as their solution was to get rid of the wooden clogs. Whoever heard of breakdancing barefoot?
What a Trip!
So, not sure the vaccine I just had was the right one. Moments later, I shared a Martini with a shifty giraffe in a Turkish Bath who insisted we read his horoscope. I then challenged Woody Woodpecker to a breakdance competition, and later woke up on a golf course in Scotland…
What a trip that was! When can I expect the booster?!
Murray Clarke:
I take a shifty at the woodpecker tapping on the silver birch tree outside my window – the rhythmic “peck, peck” reminiscent of the breakdancing I once witnessed in the Bronx in New York in the 1970s. After a swift Martini, shaken not stirred, I read my horoscope in the local newspaper – which reminds me I am due for my annual flu vaccine.
Your boyfriend left the building
I guess he couldn’t cope
But he’d have known that I was coming
If he’d read his horoscope
I ain’t your shifty Swifty
Nor your breakdance machine
But in the fight against your boredom
I’m your miracle vaccine
I’m strong like a martini
My intent as clear as gin
Tap! Tap! Says this woodpecker
Let me in
Shifty Woodpecker
Shifty Woodpecker is a local character. He reads his daily horoscope like it’s the Holy Bible–church friends pray fervently for him. But he’s a good soul, young at heart, likeable.
After recently getting the flu vaccine he noticed a side-effect–he no longer enjoys an evening martini.
Neighbors are complaining about his latest wee-hours passion: he’s break dancing above their ceiling.
Fiona Brown:
As she collided with a giant inflatable woodpecker, Fiona wished she had taken notice of her horoscope that morning; “beware of birds,” before attempting to breakdance. A ridiculous idea, particularly after several martinis, but the shifty man at the bar had assured her it was safe. Lying in a heap, Fiona remembered her vaccine appointment in the morning and groaned in pain.
After his vaccine, Milo entered a breakdance contest at midnight. The judge, sipping a Martini, seemed shifty, especially when a woodpecker flew through the window and stole his scorecard. Milo checked his horoscope: “Expect a surprising victory.” He laughed, spun on his head, and finally won when the woodpecker returned, dropped the scorecard, and revealed a perfect ten from every judge.
Squirreljan:
Belinda Biddy was waiting for her flu vaccine whilst a sexy, but slightly shifty, old boy sitting opposite winked at her.
That night at the Woodpecker Club, he did a breakdance across the floor whilst she sank another martini and sighed. She blamed her horoscope – ‘Say yes to anything today. You will be pleasantly surprised.’ Yet again the Bath Gazette had lied.
Whisky A Go-Go
She loved her job because she was working on a book of ordering in a bar according to your horoscope. So, making a wicked Martini in the neighborhood hot spot was perfect. And the entertaining woodpecker costumed regular who came in slugging her drinks downlike a vaccine, and turning shifty moves into a breakdance routine within minutes, kept other customer’s orders flowing.
Don’t you hear that woodpecker? He’s doing a breakdance on the roof! Joe, suffering from vaccine shots, was drowning his pain in a martini. He was busy reading the days horoscope or horrorscope as he called it. The shifty editors always made up that junk and the readers fell for it. He was tired of the newspaper business, and wanted to quit.
–
Helen, tired this morning after one too many martinis the night before. If only that woodpecker doing a breakdance on the roof would stop! Her horoscope said it would be a relaxing day…what crap! She should have gotten vaccine shots, worrying now about Covid! Nah, if Joe would just get rid of that bird, but was shifty looking, staring into the newspaper.
Ann Edall-Robson:
Sipping a martini, the detective thumbed through the newspaper. The required days off after receiving a vaccine were a good thing. The only irritant was the woodpecker hammering like out of rhythm breakdance music while making shifty moves up the tree trunk.
The detective stopped to read his horoscope: Silence is on the horizon.
“Not unless someone does away with that bird.”
Carpet Boots:
Ghosted
Once I was an expert. Maybe age has given me a shifty look. I try a fixed grin whilst drumming my fingers like a demented woodpecker. Must be the vaccine, it’s made me invisible! Perhaps I should do a breakdance or announce that my horoscope came true today. I just need a Martini, but my endless wait at the bar goes on.
Get Down!
Dr. Evil’s horoscope predicted pure chaos. That night at a club, the shifty doctor sipped a martini while boasting about inventing a new vaccine. Suddenly, an errant woodpecker crashed through the window, heading straight for the stage. The DJ began to play some sick tunes which the evil one took as his cue to breakdance like Michael Jackson in the Thriller video.
The Bare-Bottomed Breakdance
The shifty waiter served a Martini while a woodpecker hammered the wall. His horoscope promised fame, so he attempted breakdance.
His trousers exploded. The manager applauded. “Magnificent! What’s this move called?”
“Desperation!”
“Brilliant! One last thing,” she said, pointing at his backside. “Your vaccine certificate, please. We’ve had an outbreak of exposed cheeks.”
***
Image credit: Pinterest
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