Happy new week! Here’s a fresh limerick challenge for you. Your word this week is
TIGHT
You have two weeks in which to complete your TIGHT limericks. I’m off for a few writing events and to see family at the end of this week.
The previous word was FRY. Here are your limericks:
Nicola Daly:
Ode to a Hungry Hound
So I’ve put the bacon in the pan to fry
And you happen to wake up, and thought you’d say ‘hi’?
Stop sniffing the floor
It won’t get you more
You know I won’t ignore your pleading eyes and heartfelt sigh.
Rall:
alas no time to fry an egg on toasted rye she’s running late the bus wont wait at work she’ll buy a pie
The French Fries Disaster
a man tried to fry strips of potatoes
but burning hot oil splashed to his toes
he ran away in pain
but hit the pan in vain
the floor is now full of oil and raw potatoes
My doctor says I mustn’t fry
I raise my eyes up to the sky
It’s ok to boil
Dry bake – or broil
That’s his advice on suntan oil!
A lot of the foods we deep fry,
Are bad for the figure – oh my!
I attend to my weight
And anticipate
Fish’n’chips in the sweet by and by.
Better Days
On this last day summer, I know why
I’ve more energy and my hopes are so high.
“Dog days” are done,
So now I’ll have fun,
Instead of fearing the sun wants my body to fry.
I Silently Cried
He laughed like he wasn’t breaking inside
Masking the tension that he wanted to hide
Troubles and sorrows trying to fry his brain
Inside that rubber room I felt so damn insane
Visiting my reality is where I silently cried
Graeme Sandford:
There once was a very small fry,
that was no more than a mote in an eye;
the tiniest guy,
less than the dot of an i,
who, with a million siblings, swam by
Frank Hubeny:
Frying Up Some Verse
You’re awake? I will fry up some verse
with our breakfast all yummy and terse.
We will start this day right
since it’s no longer night
and delight that my rhyme can’t get worse.
Susan Batten:
Go out in the garden – you’ll fry!
Sit tight in the house – you’ll just die!
We’re assailed by the weather
and don’t know quite whether
the air con’s still working on “high”.
Scrambled, Not Fried:
Fair Warning
Fried vomit is no fun to eat.
It doesn’t react well to heat.
You might disagree,
but listen to me:
It’s a truly inedible treat.
So don’t fry it (or bake it or broil it).
Believe me: you won’t want to boil it.
And (even if basted)
your time will be wasted
so let it remain in the toilet!
Dan Ince:
A Full English Breakfast
A fry-up for breakfast for me
A delicious treat it will be…
***
Now time for some telly
Content is my belly
My arteries though, disagree!
Murray Clarke:
However hard I really try
I cannot cook an Ulster Fry!
A Full English is no problem -
Beans and fried bread, I've certainly got 'em.
It's enough to make a grown man cry!
When you pull away from a fast food window, There’s something you’ll soon happily know – From that first hot crisp bite That always tastes right… The French Fry is the star of your combo! Fandango:
Short Order Cook
A short order cook named McTye
Would slice up potatoes to fry
With a flick of his wrist
He’d make hardly a miss
And serve up plates of his fries piled high
The Afterlove Voice:
Fried In Fuerteventura
There once was a woman who’d fry,
As the dust turned the blue of her sky.
At thirty all night,
She gave up the fight—
And escaped to her car with a sigh
Cathy Cade:
Spratlings
Joy was down when her writing group found her,
publication rejections around her.
For celebrity novelists
publications a doddle. It’s
left to the small fry to flounder.
John W. Howell:
There once was a man who could fly,
“Tis faith.” he said was why,
He climbed toward the sun
He was having such fun,
Till his wings came off in the fry
Pensitivity101:
It was bad enough cutting out bread,
And sugars and chocolate he said,
To fry was banned
And the food tasted bland
So we opted for take out instead!
Lou by the Sea:
Don’t try this at home
There was a church warden called Old Mrs Spry
Breakfast lunch and tea in her pan she did fry
She defied her GP
“My life belongs to me”
Even when 90 and refusing to die
Kim Smyth:
I once used to fry in the sun
But now I look out for number one
This year no tan was had
I guess my doctor’d be glad
Truth is, the Fall’s just begun.
poetisinta:
Frying Tonight
There once was a gnome called McFry,
Who ran a fine chip shop nearby.
He'd fry up the chips,
With his tiny wee mitts,
And serve them with ketchup piled high!
One night when the shop closed at ten,
He heard a loud knock - then again!
A troll wanted fish,
So the gnome cooked him a dish,
But he started sneezing cause he'd covered it in cayanne!
McFry always cooked his chips with a grin,
Then sneak all the bits in his tin.
When the customers cried,
'Where's those chips?' he just lied,
'Sorry, mate, they all fell in the bin!'
Teleportingweena:
The songwriter’s brain began to fry
The words wouldn’t come so he started to cry
He took a break
From music to make
Finally gave up and said, “Bye Bye Bye”
Treehugger:
The tastiest way to cook, is to fry
All the food that I love, I won’t lie.
My favourite is chicken,
Scrumptious and finger licking.
Alas, I have to kiss my waist goodbye.
Richmond Road:
I wanted a kiss, I won’t lie
A moment of bliss yet to try
She looked at me sadly
Rejected me gladly
For she had bigger fish yet to fry
Annette Rochelle Aben:
Summer Bummer
She’d lay out and fry on the beach
Although the dermatologist did preach
She thought it looked super cool
To have skin the color of a red thread spool
Now she keeps the sunscreen within reach
The Elephant’s Trunk:
Snap, Crackle, Pop!
A culinary student named Guy
Tried to fry an egg custard pie.
It sizzled and popped
Then exploded and plopped
Right into his teacher’s right eye!
John McGuiggan:
A check in clerk at Shanghai
Asked “where you today want to fry”
To Hong Kong I replied if the flight has not gone
“I looking what fright you fry on”
After checking my boarding pass was right
He waved me through and wished me a velly nice fright.
The Bag Lady:
Those eggs she never tried to fry
In a basket they sat to lie
They began to rot and spoil
Emitting foul smelling oil
If eaten might cause you to die.
Dog Paddling Through Life:
Said store staff with little to do,
”I’m far too busy to help you.”
How their brains did fry
when they realized I
made their exclamations ring true.
Blind Wilderness:
An egg that started to fry
Shouted Oh God I will die
It jumped out of the pan
To watering can
And there it forever did lie
Olaf Sturlasson's Poetry Corner:
There was a church warden called Old Mrs Spry
Breakfast lunch and tea in her pan she did fry
She defied her GP
“My life belongs to me”
Even when 90 and refusing to die
Kim Smyth:
I once used to fry in the sun
But now I look out for number one
This year no tan was had
I guess my doctor’d be glad
Truth is, the Fall’s just begun.
poetisinta:
Frying Tonight
There once was a gnome called McFry,
Who ran a fine chip shop nearby.
He'd fry up the chips,
With his tiny wee mitts,
And serve them with ketchup piled high!
One night when the shop closed at ten,
He heard a loud knock - then again!
A troll wanted fish,
So the gnome cooked him a dish,
But he started sneezing cause he'd covered it in cayanne!
McFry always cooked his chips with a grin,
Then sneak all the bits in his tin.
When the customers cried,
'Where's those chips?' he just lied,
'Sorry, mate, they all fell in the bin!'
Teleportingweena:
The songwriter’s brain began to fry
The words wouldn’t come so he started to cry
He took a break
From music to make
Finally gave up and said, “Bye Bye Bye”
Treehugger:
The tastiest way to cook, is to fry
All the food that I love, I won’t lie.
My favourite is chicken,
Scrumptious and finger licking.
Alas, I have to kiss my waist goodbye.
Richmond Road:
I wanted a kiss, I won’t lie
A moment of bliss yet to try
She looked at me sadly
Rejected me gladly
For she had bigger fish yet to fry
Annette Rochelle Aben:
Summer Bummer
She’d lay out and fry on the beach
Although the dermatologist did preach
She thought it looked super cool
To have skin the color of a red thread spool
Now she keeps the sunscreen within reach
The Elephant’s Trunk:
Snap, Crackle, Pop!
A culinary student named Guy
Tried to fry an egg custard pie.
It sizzled and popped
Then exploded and plopped
Right into his teacher’s right eye!
John McGuiggan:
A check in clerk at Shanghai
Asked “where you today want to fry”
To Hong Kong I replied if the flight has not gone
“I looking what fright you fry on”
After checking my boarding pass was right
He waved me through and wished me a velly nice fright.
The Bag Lady:
Those eggs she never tried to fry
In a basket they sat to lie
They began to rot and spoil
Emitting foul smelling oil
If eaten might cause you to die.
Dog Paddling Through Life:
Said store staff with little to do,
”I’m far too busy to help you.”
How their brains did fry
when they realized I
made their exclamations ring true.
Blind Wilderness:
An egg that started to fry
Shouted Oh God I will die
It jumped out of the pan
To watering can
And there it forever did lie
Olaf Sturlasson's Poetry Corner:
An old woman with onions to fry
Feared chopping them would make her cry
So to prevent all the tears
And mascara smears
Pre-chopped she decided to buy
***
Image credit: Pinterest
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