Happy Monday! I hope you all had a good weekend.
Your new limerick challenge is as follows:
SNEEZE
Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word FISH in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:
She fished for mullet
With a gun and bullet
In bits to catch it
With a small basket
In pieces was forced to pull it.
There once was a cat who could fish
Only happy with fish in her dish
She stuck in a paw
Pulled back a sharp claw
And yep! She got exactly her wish!
I decided to take a look
At catching a fish on a hook
I was in a fetter
‘Cause the fish were better
Next time I’ll read a book.
–
Bob let nothing pass his lips
But deep fried fish and chips
All day he’d sit
And eat quite a bit
And, yes, it all went to his hips.
I truly had only one wish
As I sat there and looked at my dish
I smiled to my brother
Then yelled at my mother
“I don’t even like bloody fish!”
–
On my plate a whole fish, tail to head,
Relaxed on a slice of brown bread
Its teeth it was bearing
Its eyes they were staring
I’m not even sure it was dead!
When the press accused him of catfishing
He thought it a trifle off-pissing.
‘I’m not a fraud,’ he complained.
‘I’m really the king,’ he explained.
‘And it was only Haz and Megs I was dissing.’
East Anglians can’t get more remoter
Than the place where their food’s caught by boaters.
They smoke their fresh fish
And it’s really dee-lish.
You should try that Great Yarmouth bloater!
–
Seaman Fred would swing the lead.
Bosun’s face would turn beetroot red.
“If you don’t work hard,
You’ll swing from the yard,
Then your body to the fish will be fed!”
There once was a fish named Fruit Tree
She swam ‘round her bowl full of glee
She started to float
And then turned to bloat
They stuffed her and then drank some tea.
***
Esther Chilton 
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