Here are you wonderful NURSE limericks. I was very lucky – the nurses in hospital gave me excellent care. Unlike some of the nurses in your limericks!
There once was a nurse with a curse
Whose week couldn’t get any worse
No patients were saved
The doctors just raved
And her date showed up in a hearse!
When I am sick I often chose
To nurse myself back with some booze
I feel awfully fine
With whiskey, beer or wine
How can I possibly lose?
I hope that you get a good nurse
And that you don’t get any worse
That you soon get better
And then get a letter
To say you’ve recovered – in Verse!
‘It’s hardly surprising,’ said doctor to nurse,
‘That the poor died with a rant and a curse.
The instruction was clear: prick his boil.
Not soak his todger in a pan of hot oil.
I think you’d better go fetch the hearse.
I was climbing Mont Blanc when I fell.
I broke some bones and I didn’t feel well.
I tried some pills
to cure my ills,
But only got better when nursed by Nell.
Her mother – she once was a nurse
Who cared quite a lot for her purse
When people got sick
She said, “Oh my, ick.”
She then ran away and would curse.
***
Esther Chilton 