Wishing you all a great week. Here’s a new limerick prompt for you. Your word this week is
LEAF
The previous word was WORKS. Here are your limericks:
The Missing Pair
a young man was at home planning his day,
while the big dog stole his socks and ran away.
the man ran in a zip,
but the dog tore their tip.
nothing works; he’ll have to buy a new pair today!
Embrace Those Quirks
If you want to know “What really works?”,
Listen to those with some eccentric ‘quirks’.
They’ll never blindly comply,
‘Cuz their own instincts run high.
That’s why ‘crooked elites’ always label them “jerks”.
In the catacombs of my mind there is a fardel of thoughts in a dark room
An unseen presence, like noises in the attic or haunted house doom
Sounds of past lovers repeatedly saying you're dead to me
Are these works of demonic passions really running free
Or is it the caffeine from the coffee making my mind zoom?
Graeme Sandford:
There once was a lady named Esther,
who got a job as a trampoline tester,
when up she had highs,
of incredible size,
but the lows they always depressed her.
Frank Hubeny:
By Their Works
All these works are the fruit. You can tell
if it’s heavenly earth or dark hell.
When you shop, stop to see
if the fruit of the tree
is a work only devils would sell.
Susan Batten:
When Tom Randy went off down to Berks,
he abandoned his job at the Works
but he toiled to and fro
as a keen gigolo,
saying factories were only for jerks.
JaniceJJ:
The old Biddy from Bath wanted a tattoo
But quite where and what she didn’t have a clue
Just give me the full works
She smiles and winks and smirks
Her bum got the bare necessities with a picture of Baloo
Rall:
if your plan works
think of all the perks
there’ll be opposition of course
the whingers will be out in force
that’s because they’re jerks
Dan Ince:
When The Nappy Is Full
There’s a job above all that he shirks
And there’s always a dodge in the works…
When out calls his lady
“Your turn with the baby!”
He hides in the bathroom and smirks!
Murray Clarke:
Being a doctor has its perks.
Here's a thing that really works:
Open your bag and take out a pill -
Pop it in your mouth and keep very still.
And soon you'll find your head no longer hurts!
Fandango:
The Snitch
There once was a follow name Brooks
Who fell in with a gang of bad crooks
He was caught by police
But then earned his release
By snitching about the gang’s evil works
Cathy Cade:
If It A’int Broke
A young birthday boy was intent
on improving each gift he was sent.
Mum wasn’t impressed.
She said, “look at the mess!
If it works alright, why reinvent?”
The Limerick Guy:
Of the many mental states in which we can be,
This one is transcendentally
The best state to be in,
And my personal spin
Is bonkers works just fine for me!
–
Extroverts are not always jerks,
But when they have the obnoxious quirks
Of being both creepy
And a “buttinski”…
Asstrovert’s a moniker that works!
I hope I am welcome again
My poem skills aren’t on the wain
That the rhymes work
And I’m not a dork
Enjoyment and laughter, my gain.
The One Lost In Cultural Exchanges
There once was a Frenchman living in Edinburghs.
(The added S was one of his many quirks.)
He annoyed the locals
With his mangled vocals.
So he ended up as a beautiful “curpse”.
John W. Howell:
There once was a lady from Turks
Who amazed the guys with her twerks
One day without notice
She turned in her bodice
And exposed how the whole thing works
Pensitivity101:
Someone help me please
WP has me on my knees
What works now fails
Can you hear my wails
This is now a Monday tease.
Lou by the Sea:
Just do it
Whatever works in life, just do it
My motto for life is a good fit
Don’t ponder, just do
Sound advice for you
You’ll enjoy life more little bit by bit
Kim Smyth:
Men don’t get to heaven by being jerks
Women don’t either, not by their works
Do good cause you should
Pray often and for good
Maybe then you’ll sail through the gate by some quirk!
poetisinta:
A Man Called Curly
There's a stooge his name is Curly,
Who works at being wild and surly,
He poked Moe in the eye,
Made poor Larry cry,
Saying 'That's what you get for calling me Shirley!'
The Afterlove Voice:
If It Works, It Works!
There once was a woman who’d say,
“My coffee is what saves the day!”
When nothing else works,
She just smiles and smirks—
“Add caffeine, and troubles go away!”
The Bag Lady:
Joe thinking he knew how it works
Spewing their awful claptrap quirks
Thinking they know
The right way to go
Then find out that they are all jerks
Therapy Bits:
A Man Who Sold Corks
There once was a man who sold corks,
Who claimed he knew just how life works.
He sat on a bottle,
Went off at full throttle,
And landed butt-first on the forks!
Teleportingweena:
At a fast food place a group ordered the works
Which made furious all the restaurant clerks
So a wild riot started
When someone farted
Which caused the whole place to go berserks
***
Behind every smile there lurks
A person with their own little quirks
But when in a frenzy
Try to be a more friendly Gen Z
And stop being those labeled jerks
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
There once was a house full of berks
Who took charge of all public works
Which never got done
For they'd lie in the sun
Or drive around town in their Mercs
Dip Stick’s Dinner
A big burly trucker named Burke,
Ordered bacon egg & cheese, and the works.
With a crunch and a munch
he demolished his brunch
and smiled liked a satisfied jerk!
Sexagenarian Scribbler:
At last years works Christmas do
The big boss was caught in the loo
With his latest PA
She’s due any day
His poor missus hasn’t a clue
iMcreative:
One A Stooge Always A Stooge
Curly has duties he shirks
Larry often in a daze, just smirks
Moe caught wind of them screwing around
Said "Get busy you clowns!!!"
Then gave them both the works*
*the works in this case means a beat down
Annette Rochelle Aben:
Miracle Workers
Top to bottom hairy
And requiring the skills of a machete trained fairy
The beauty salon clerks
Signed her up for the works
Well, she was werewolf scary
***
Image credit: Pinterest
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