Esther Chilton

If you’d like to be included in this slot, please get in touch: estherchilton@gmail.com. Poems can be up to 60 lines and prose 2000 words. If you’d like to add a short bio and photo, then great. All I ask is that there’s nothing offensive.

This week I would like to share one of my Writers Bureau student’s successes. Tim Woodhead has recently had a pamphlet of poems published. Here’s a little bit about it:

Tim Woodhead takes the theme of life in an office, superficially dull and everyday, and turns it upside down and inside out to reveal a variety of aspects. Poems are varied in style, witty and relevant to contemporary situations. Above all they are amusing – sometimes tongue in cheek with a lightly humorous exposure to quirks and absurdities, other times the satire goes much deeper, illustrating the difference between what is said and the intended meaning. An entertaining selection of poems. A joy to read.

Here is a poem from the collection:

Waiting for HR

I have done the washing up,
I’ve even washed the car
and cleaned the kitchen sink,
whilst waiting for HR.

I’ve mended the curtain rail
and cooked tomorrow’s tea.
I’ve cleaned the moss off the fence,
waiting for HR to get back to me.

Now the weather’s turning colder;
Soon it will start to hail
and although I have chased it again
from HR there is still no email.

The children have fled the nest,
I am still waiting for the call.
HR promised that due to the delay,
they will no longer stall.

Just as I am about to retire,
an email pings my way;
“Your issue is important to us,
we are sorry for the delay”.

And now my days are numbered.
I lie in my final bed.
The response from HR finally arrives.
This is what it said,

“I refer to my previous email.
you did not need to wait.
You just need to follow the policy.
The one that’s out of date.”

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A bargain at £5, you can order a copy directly from Tim (it’ll make a great Secret Santa gift!): t.woodhead1@sky.com

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