Here’s a new limerick challenge for you. Your word this week is
LAND
Last week’s word was WRECK. Here are your limericks:
Nicola Daly:
I didn’t half look a wreck
By the time I was half way through the trek
‘A doddle’ll it’ll be!’
He’d lied to me
Which is why he’s now floating in the beck!
*beck is the word for a stream in Cumbria
Sometimes
The moment I opened the door, I knew everything had changed.
My spizzerinctum refreshed, my mind completely deranged
I told the woman I loved that her mind had became a total wreck
She needed to figure out there was no way I could be hen-pecked
This conversation lead to our relationship becoming estranged
Graeme Sandford:
There once was a long-sunken wreck,
just a hull, a hold, and a deck;
a treasure chest found
with coins shiny and round,
the worth of a million-pound cheque.
Murray Clarke:
It's hot and it's humid - I feel like a wreck
My face is pale green and I look just like Shek!
I need to get out of bed and jump around
Quietly of course, mustn't make a sound -
Imagine I'm a dancer like Anton du Beke.
When he found out I’d sold him a wreck,
Reverend Johnson demanded a cheque.
Excuse me, I declared,,
Can’t you see I’m not scared?
King hell, Rev, you’ve got some brass neck!
I was a wreck
When I failed to apply the brakes
The car rolled on
Into the nearby pond
As someone shouted, “What the heck.”
Squirreljan: The old biddy from Bath said, “Oh, what the heck, Has happened to me? I’m such a wreck. My body’s prehistoric My face is catastrophic Pah! Who cares? I’m still going to the discotheque.” Pictures Imperfect Blog: The Irish Limerick There once were three Irish girls who wanted to trek from Stansted to Kerry without leaving their wallet a wreck. The flight was real cheap, yet the charges were many and the charges were steep. Feckity – feckity – feckity – feck. Cathy Cade: You Must be Kidding Tourists shelled out to visit the wreck but the dive was authentic as heck, from Blackbeard’s ghost at the lookout post to the Captain Kidd dummy on deck.
I try to keep my frustration in check,
But sometimes I just say, “What the heck!”
I don’t bother to try –
I let the expletives fly…
It’s why I’m an emotional wreck!
Black Bart’s Bungles
Black Bart, a pirate of the sea, Bragged, 'No wave can conquer me!' He sneered with great pride, 'Til he struck the wrong tide, And was left in a wreck on the quay. Now Captain Bart was soaked and sore, Swore he'd sail much better than before. But he hoisted the wrong sails, Caught the wind on the rails, And was shipwrecked once more - what a bore! Teleportingweena: A chicken always liked to peck The chicken feed on the deck But one time she found A piece of food on the ground And clucked beck beck it’s a wreck!
Restoring a Wreck
There once was a car buff named Beck
Who spent a year restoring a wreck
When the work was all done
He drove it for fun
Then ran into a tree — what the heck!
Joe’s just eating lunch on his deck Saw his arm had red bumpy flecks Allergic to bees He started to sneeze Now food at his table’s a wreck. Annette Rochelle Aben: Purrfect Crime Kitties love to wreck the halls Swatting pretty holiday balls Then they meow with glee Once the defrocked tree Teeters and eventually falls Boomcha: The Misadventures of Old Beck A sailor by name of old Beck Could turn calmest waters to wreck. He’d nod like a pro While drifting so slow The gulls passed him twice on their trek. Kim Smyth: I had my old man make a deck But he did a bad job, what the heck? Not asking for help Makes him such a whelp Could have looked good, now it’s a wreck! John W. Howell: There once was a guy from Quebec. Described as not having a full deck. He tried very hard, To behave like a bard. But when he opened his mouth, just a wreck.
Susan Batten: When they dived on the wreck in the Sound they were shocked to the core when they found not great treasure and gold in the depths of the hold – but the bones of the crew who had drowned. Therapy Bits: There once was a coder named Hec, Whose shortcuts were always a wreck. He typed with great pride, Then the whole server died— Now "Hec" is IT’s favorite speck!
There once was a man on a lake,
A big fish he wanted to take
He waited for hours in a boat,
Up swam a Bass with a note,
“Send live not this miserable fake”
Pensitivity101:
His body was a bit of a wreck
From his toes to the back of his neck,
But his mind was alert
Blooming flowers in the dirt
To enjoy as he sat on his deck.
Frank Hubeny:
A Wreck of a Limerick
Though they said, “It’s a wreck,” I am glad
it was not so remarkably bad.
It was not even worse
than a line of this verse
and for that I am gratefully glad.
Sexagenarian Scribbler:
What transpired on the Marie Celeste?
Nobody knows, we can only guess
No souls found on deck
Of the famous wreck
Was this ghost ship really possessed?
Blind Wilderness:
A woman who had a long neck
Said Oh God I look such a wreck
I’ve got such short toes
And I just can’t see those
And she died whilst on a long trek
Mirror Meltdown
I look in the mirror, “By heck,
whoever that is — she’s a wreck.”
I furrow my brow,
then moo like a cow,
and tears trickle down to my neck.
My nerves are all in a wreck,
Then I think ‘Oh what the heck.
Put the mobile away,
Before my hair turns grey,
In my life do I need all this ‘tec?’
The Elephant's Trunk:
A Hairy Solution
A sailor whose ship was a wreck
found a spider quite large on the deck.
He shouted in alarm
“Don’t you do me no harm!”
As it crawled up the back of his neck.
John McGuiggan:
Beneath the waves of the deep black sea
Just beyond the road by the harbour quay
Lies The rusting wreck of my Lamborghini
It would not stop
just ignored me quite completely
It’s now a wreck where crustations play and dolphins dive
The satnav still repeating
You have arrived, you have arrived
Dog Paddling Through Life:
After finding my bedroom a wreck,
I said to my cats, "what the heck?"
The bed was disheveled,
a bathroom shelf leveled,
and blinds that needed a health check.
Olaf Sturlasson's Poetry Corner:
A diver exploring a wreck
Got such a crick in the neck
What caused him such pain
Which drove him insane
Was being stuck in the ship bottle's neck
***
Image credit: Pinterest
Esther Chilton 
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