In the UK, we’re coping with our third heatwave. Hope you’re all managing to keep cool. Here’s a fresh limerick challenge for you. Your new word is
WRECK
Last week’s word was FAKE. Here are your limericks:
Far be it from me to forsake
A chance to relax by the lake
I won a free ticket
On fantasy cricket.
It turned out the damned thing was fake!
Squirreljan:
The old biddy from Bath was trying to bake A beautiful, twenty-tiered cake Every time she failed And so she wailed I’m useless, I’m rubbish, I’m such a fake
—–
But then she reverted to her normal view Why spend so much time and make myself blue I’ll get one from the baker And say I’m the maker No-one will guess – wahay wahoo! Pictures Imperfect Blog: The Imperfect Limerick They were sunbathing near our local lake. Everything was real, nothing was fake. The beer was flowing. The bellies were showing. Nobody was bothered that they were nake- d. Cathy Cade: Advice from the Bride's Mother Kit was nervous; you couldn’t mistake it, but her mum said, “You can’t run away, Kit, with guests and groom heading to dance at your wedding. If the earth doesn’t move for you, fake it!”
Fakity Fake
It was fakity, fakity fake,
but we bought it since it came with cake.
And the cake tasted good
like a real, good cake should,
but the message was fakity fake.
Ain’t No Mistaking – The Girl is Faking
When a relationship is fraught with deceit
A woman won’t be sexually replete.
With “I love you” lies
Cums a rude surprise…
Her orgasm – fake and incomplete!
My Bother Jake
There once was a brother (my brother*) named Jake who it’s said just couldn’t eat cake The reason is plain as I will explain; for he doesn’t exist, he’s a fake. *I have no brother, not even one named Jake, although there is a song about him by Free – but, as far as I know, they didn’t have a brother named Jake either. Rall: everything about him was fake he was definitely on the make but he looked so appealing sang opera with feeling she accepted his offer of a date Richmond Road: My love life is no give, it’s all take I’m a test for the best they can make On deciding to try Romantic AI Fell in love with a beautiful fake
Fake News
There once was a pundit named Blake,
Who insisted each headline was fake.
“If facts don’t agree,
They’re conspiring with me!”
The truth just gives Blake a headache.
Susan Batten:
When they told me the news was all fake
I just begged them to give me a break.
I had hyped up their tale
to the size of a whale –
did they think I’d admit my mistake?
Therapy Bits:
There once was a fellow named Jake,
Whose confidence all seemed to fake.
He’d grin and pretend,
Till truth met its end,
Then learned that real beats every fake.
There once was a man on a lake,
A big fish he wanted to take
He waited for hours in a boat,
Up swam a Bass with a note,
“Send live not this miserable fake”
Pensitivity101:
He yelled it was a mistake!
Of course he was not a fake,
The best plans were laid,
After all they’d be paid,
As everyone was on the make!
poetisinta:
Headline News
There once was a man named Trump,
Whose rallies arrived with a thump,
Shouting, 'Fake news!' out loud,
To the cheers of the crowd,
And the reporters all did a fist bump!
Mark Fraidenburg:
There once was a sailor named Jake
Who'd scare his shipmates with a snake
He'd put it in somebody's bed
Or sometimes leave it in the head
'Til one day they found it was fake.
michaelfishbowl:
First Date
'Twas a risk I was willing to take
cuz she was cute as a frosted cupcake
She had twin assets (gigantic!)
and said, “I’m feeling romantic”
but those giants it turned out were fake.
The Afterlove Voice:
There once was a diamond called fake,
Who bragged, “I’m the finest they’ll take!”
Then under bright light,
It lost all its might—
Turns out it was glitter by mistake!
Dawgy Daddy Responds:
Seeds of Doubt
Seeds of doubt are placed in my mind
Gardens of chaos that grow with time
Over riding peace with solid confusion
Leaving me a world of extreme delusion
Bringing forth another altered rhyme
The Bag Lady:
Joe had a hard time acting fake
Seems everyone could tell his take
Especially girls
He wanted to whirl
They could tell he was on the make!
Kymber L. Hawke:
Fake Feline Fury
There once was a cat who’d awake
And pretend she was fierce, not a flake.
She’d puff up her fur,
Give a dramatic purr,
But everyone knew it was fake.
Dog Paddling Through Life:
A man with a firm derriere
had some fake male enhancement down there
but his secret exposed
when it fell from his clothes
and on the sidewalk it lay bare
The Elephant's Trunk:
The Proposal
A nervous young fellow named Bing
Proposed with a big plastic ring.
His girl knew it was fake
And cried out “For Pete’s sake!
It’s just such a cheap tacky thing!”
Blind Wilderness:
A woman who had a fake tan
That she’d got right out of a can
Laid down in the sun
It all started to run
And they found she was really a man
Lou by the Sea:
I want a nip,tuck and lipo suck, she said, during her break
‘You want to look boring and plastic,’ said her friend,‘ like face fake?’
But I want to look young and glam
Better than the person I am
Just love yourself, enjoy life, said her friend, I’m off to eat that cake
Cee Tee Jackson:
FIFA – Fix It For America.
“Y’all might find this hard,
But it wasn’t a red card!
Now I don’t care for your views
Coz they’re all just fake news.
Infantino – the suspension? Disregard.”
John McGuiggan:
In the north of bonnie Scotland, there’s a deep and darkiy loch.
Although the English always say it’s just a lake.
Our Nessie often rises from the depths up to the top
But those English still assert he’s jus a fake
But every single Hogmanay, he scoffs haggis by the ton,
fed to him by Kilted men drinking whiskey, beer, and rum.
Nessie roars like William Wallace for Scotland to be free.
He’ll vote for independence, but not the SNP.
Sexagenarian Scribbler:
What’s the point in having fake bling?
For me it must be the real thing
Now I’m living the life
As a trophy wife
Handsome husband, deep pockets, kerching!
Treehugger:
Her baking skills were were illusional
In fact she was quite delusional.
She was all a big fake,
In truth, unable to bake.
This was the ultimate conclusion.
Teleportingweena:
There was a baker named Jake
He was good at baking a cake
But he’d cry and he’d cry
When he couldn’t make a pie
And people called him a fake
M.A. D. Works:
There once was an artist named Blake,
Who painted a sunset too fake.
With colors that screamed,
And shadows that gleamed,
Yet folks loved the charm in his make.
Olaf Sturlasson's Poetry Corner:
A young woman who liked to eat cake
But in pictures looked thin as a rake
On thin ice she did skate
Because of her weight
And the fact that her pictures were fake
***
Image credit: Pinterest
Esther Chilton 
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