Happy Monday. Here’s a new limerick challenge for you. Your new word is
FAKE
Last week’s word was WEED. Here are your limericks:
Squirreljan:
The mad old biddy from Bath was looking for fun
So she called upon her hippy great-great-grandson
To come to her at speed
With some cake and some weed
For a smoke, then a sleep, then a massive fruit bun
Kim Smyth:
I have a tale about weed
The kind that you use without seed
It can be consumed for good
And then you crave some food
Pain and cares go away though-agreed?
Priorhouse Blog:
The Weeding Trap
“I’ll be right back,” she said with good speed,
Intent on one troublesome weed.
One turned into more,
A never-ending chore…
Now the flower beds sparkle indeed.
Teleportingweena:
There are a lot of rhymes for ‘weed’
Like seed, need, lead, speed, and read
But which do I use
To try to amuse
I don’t know but now I’ve done the deed
***
To do the rhymes with weed
Didn’t take a lot of speed
So I thunk and I thunk
And most of them stunk
So starting over is my regular creed
Frank Hubeny:
The Weed Has Gone To Seed
It is true that the plant is a weed.
I’m the gardener, I know, so I need
to get off of my butt,
get my hoe out. Now what?
It’s too late? The weed’s long gone to seed?
When they deal with his insatiable greed
He’ll remove the barriers that impede
National legalization
And then our pot craving nation
Will be toking on Trump branded weed!
A friend of young Fatma Saeed,
Convinced her to try smoking weed.
She gave such a cough
That her backpack fell off.
Then she panicked and had a nose bleed.
–
Weed is a four-letter word,
But not the worst I’ve ever heard.
Now, I’m not a prude
But some are too crude,
And an awful lot more are absurd!
Richmond Road:
Private garden was badly in need
So went out in the nude this to weed
Found myself locking horns
With the roses and thorns
Not a prude. Just a dude, who can bleed
A Flower in the Wrong Place?
Little Weed was the lookout back then
for those flobbadob Flowerpot Men.
Now one has sown showers
of her seeds with my flowers.
Was it Bill? or was it Ben?
Stine Writing:
Barney knew there’s something he’d need
Somehow he’d get up to speed
So he drank, and he smoked
And he tried to get stoked
But oregano just isn’t weed
***
Louie’s beard grew fast as a weed
To shave was what he would need
but the barber is dead
Shot right in the head
So Old Louie’s stuck doing the deed.
The Good Stuff
There once was a gardener named Reed
Who bragged about his prize‑winning weed
To evaluate the quality of the smoke
The judge needed to take a toke
And afterwords told Reed his weed did succeed
Susan Batten:
A woman I knew played a reed,
so I listened and paid her due heed
for it sounded quite cute,
like an amateur flute;
she was playing a homage to weed.
Therapy Bits:
There once was a squirrel in the glade,
Who stumbled on green things the wind had once laid.
He puffed on a whim, felt delightfully spaced,
Then hid all his snacks in a hazy-leaning place—
Now he swears acorns taste better “unmade.”
There once was a man with a steed,
Who was quite fussy about its feed.
He tried to be sunny,
But found it not funny
When his steed got into his weed.
Pensitivity101:
Little Weed waved in the breeze,
Bill then started to sneeze:
Her pollen was rich
As his nose had an itch
And all Ben could do was wheeze.
poetisinta:
Little Weed
There once was sweet Little Weed,
Who winked at a handsome young swede
Bill chuckled at Ben,
'She's at it again!'
And they laughed at her mischievous deeds.
In my garden there was growing a weed,
it had started off life as a seed,
It grew and it grew,
over six feet it grew,
but the three feet, upon which it walked, for to feed.
Mark Fraidenburg:
Old Freddy once smoked too much weed,
Convinced he could fly at full speed.
He jumped off the roof,
Went splat in the mud, what a goof,
His flying dreams just a reckless deed.
The Afterlove Voice:
There once was a stubborn old weed,
Who declared, “I’m a flower indeed!”
No matter the hoe,
It simply would grow—
With remarkable gardening speed!
Pete Springer:
Old Abe Lincoln grew like a reed,
His skinny legs were like beanpoles indeed.
They say he looked better when he grew a beard,
When he shaved it off, he looked pretty weird.
Looks hardly mattered when the slaves he freed.
Dawgy Daddy Responds:
How Could I not?
Start with some horns and add some beat
Spark your imagination with a little heat
Tap your toes and slowly fall into the groove
Listen to what will help your mood improve
Mary Jane commonly called weed is sweet
Murray Clarke:
Bill and Ben were once known as The Flowerpot men,
They lived happily ever after in the gar-den.
Their best friend was green, and grown from a seed -
They affectionately called her their "Little Weed"!
. . . But then some bugger dug her up and she was never seen again!
The Bag Lady:
Pouting Joe said, I did the deed
She was desperately in need
I offered a trick
It just made her sick
Should have had sex, not smoking weed.
The Elephant's Trunk:
High Altitude
A fellow who smoked lots of weed
Decided to plant a new seed;
It grew to the sky
And he started to fly
At a truly remarkable speed!
He drifted past clouds in the blue
With nothing in particular to do
He waved at a bird
And it seemed quite absurd
When he shared a quick snack with it, too!
Ruth Blogs Here:
Dandelions
Garden weeds are the bane of my life
Cause me nothing but trouble and strife
Dandelions root deep
Dig them out but they keep
Coming back – they’re so stubbornly rife
Blind Wilderness:
There once was a very strange weed
That grew from a tiny seed
It grew up so tall
Then started to fall
And landed on poor Mrs. Hall
Lou by the Sea:
I’d been a while at the party and was offered some weed
But I’d already had some, and had satisfied my need
Now I’ve got insatiable munchies
I want chocolate, Dime bars and Crunchies
What a grave mistake I’ve made, to have planted that seed
Cee Tee Jackson:
A Fantastic Spread
It grew at quite an alarming pace
With stems and stolons all over the place.
Seymour had to concede
This was no garden weed –
It was a Mean Green Mutha from Outer Space.
Roberta Writes:
Dismissed as a weed,
by the gentry of the breed,
Alice didn’t make a stand,
rather her exit planned,
although her heart did bleed
iMartist:
Garden Party
Lester showed up with dandelions
Laughter broke out, they were all dying
Barry said "Bro, we can't smoke that!"
Lester said "Naw, these weeds are for your cat"
Then pulled out the biggest blunt worth trying.
John McGuiggan:
The Corgi's Boast
I weed upon a pageboy and spoilt his shiny shoes
I weed upon a carriage wheel and on the horses hoves
In the palace we call home i once weed upon the throne
what care I of etiquette
i have even weed on the Royal vet.
Olaf Sturlasson's Poetry Corner:
A gardener who pulled a big weed
Said this is the last thing I need
The roots are so long
And so very strong
I fear I'll be soon gone to seed
***
Image credit: Pinterest
Esther Chilton 
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