Here is a new limerick challenge for you this fine Monday. Your word is
TRAIN
Last week’s word was BILLS. Here are your limericks:
Nicola Daly:
His icy voice gave me the chills
I wanted to run to the hills
He put his hand in his pocket
And pulled out a ‘locket’
‘Can I use this to pay off all my bills?’
* a ‘locket’ is the name of a throat sweet in the UK. They’re foul.
Squirreljan:
The old biddy from Bath threw the bills in the bin
And sat back in her chair, sipping her gin
She owed lots on the betting
And her pants, she was wetting
The horses raced on – oh my God, it’s a win!
Lou by the Sea:
Naming Names
His Mam called William ‘Wills’
So his Da’ called Billy ‘Bills’
Some folk got confused
But they were amused
Surname changed -Miller to Mills
Priorhouse Blog:
While I’m not into American football,
It’s part of this culture call.
The towns and teams,
The streets and memes,
So for me, the Buffalo Bills stand tall.
Teleportingweena:
Duck family lived in the hills
They made moonshine in several stills
When the sheriff came around
They hid out of town
Because they still had to pay their bills
Writer Ravenclaw:
We Have
We have bills we gotta pay
Post a cheque without delay
Need to send it with ease
or the bank they will freeze
all of our money.
Frank Hubeny:
Winter’s Chills in Summertime
There are birds with their bright shiny bills.
There are words that delight with their thrills.
There’s a this for each that.
Here’s a kiss for my cat.
There is summer to fight winter’s chills.
Bills falling due makes me aware
I‘m not paid sufficient to care.
Let’s pay what we owe,
Lest some so-and-so
Starts causing a fiscal nightmare
Rall:
far too expensive these pills
resulting in high costing bills
going away
for a year and a day
before i become too ill
Richmond Road:
On the streets around Beverly Hills
A lady who’s offering thrills
Not much of a talker
A simple street walker
Just trying to pay off her bills
On the Mat
I used to be happy, way back,
when the postman turned up with his sack.
Now my letterbox fills
with nothing but bills
and bank statements, no more in the black.
Oh Those Bills
There once was a hillbilly named Mills
Who groaned every month at his bills
His wife asked, “Do we have any money?
He said, “Don’t ask me, honey”
“Screw it, I’m heading for them hills!”
Silly Frog’s Blog:
Two Bills
I was ‘asked out’, all at once, by two Bills. Each promised to show me some thrills. Their dull eyes most insincere. They’d made a bet, it was clear. Those “creeps” were just like all other shills! Treehugger: Shall I upstick and take to the hills? As I wade through all of my bills. Or should I stay hearty, And throw a big party? Sorting bills out gives me the chills. Susan Batten: Bill’s were the biggest, he said, They were nearly as big as your head. We were not keen to feel them, Nor ask for a quick dem. We would keep our illusions instead
The Afterlove Voice:
The postman brought envelopes, bills, Enough to give anyone chills. I sighed with despair, Then dyed my grey hair— And paid them with coffee and wills! Therapy Bits: There once was a clerk with great skills, Who struggled with mounting up bills. Though plagued by some ills, He climbed all the hills, And conquered both worries and bills.
There once was an author of wills,
Whose work was so good it brought chills.
Iron clad they were built,
legal to the very hilt.
Heart attacks were a result of his bills.
Pensitivity101:
The doc prescribed tonic and pills
Then presented him with two bills,
When he asked why
The doc said best to try
Both in case of accidental spills.
“We never get anything but bills… And this latest one gives me the chills; it’s too high, by far – do we now sell the car? and go back to work on the tills?” Pictures Imperfect Blog: Nice Work if You can get it A grand old fish used to clean his gills all by himself with considerable skills. But he got old and less bendable Then a cleaner fish announced: “I’ll do it, I’m dependable. “Just let me do the work – and I’ll send the bills!” Dawgy Daddy Responds: This year my faith has grown by leaps and bounds A brand new direction in life is what I have found I am no longer cross about bills and rising inflation I am cruising into the future with a clear destination To seek peace and wait for Jesus to come back around I am no longer cross about bills and rising inflation I am cruising into the future with a clear destination This year my faith has grown by leaps and bounds A brand new direction in life is what I have found The Lord has blessed me with poetic AI musical creations I write number three for shits and giggles Not being cross if the lines are not riddles WordPress posts don't help pay the bills It does provide me with some cheap thrills Am I crying with a thumb sized fiddle Murray Clarke: My uncle sees the postman tramp over the hills Carrying his usual pile of junk mail and bills. My relative's name is actually Piers, Who, I must tell you, likes his beers To wash down all his medication and pills. The Bag Lady: Life has its many ups and downs Heads aplenty wear wealthy crowns But I have too many bills Causing many deathly ills Soon I’ll be buried underground. poetisinta: The Duck from Seville There once was a duck from Seville Who was terribly proud of his bill, He used it for rowing, For trumpeting and crowing, And once even for a power drill! Now this duck with his remarkable beak, He polished it and made it look sleek, And it grew so bright, That one foggy night, The moon asked to borrow it for a week! Lily's Corner: Mime There once was a man named Bill Who thought it would be fun to stand still So he grabbed some white paint and slapped it on his face And now bills seem to fall by his feet. The Elephant’s trunk: Nothin' on Like two peas in a pod, Nancy and Bill Lounged in his recliner just for a thrill. Though Nancy was coy The remote was Bill’s toy And he ruled all the channels at will. But when Nancy wanted some love, She donned her soft velvet glove. She gave Bill a sweet smile, Purred “Turn me on for a while”, And Mr. Bill did not need a shove. Dog Paddling Through Life: The senator from Berkshire Hills decided to sponsor some bills to build data centers. Soon after, dissenters turned his office into dunghills. John McGuigan: I am drowning from water bills. shocked from electricity bills. Incensed by internet bills. Aghast at the gas bills but its my kids that will have to pay the bills, and what is worse, they’ll have to pay for my funeral and my hearse.
A man who tore up his bills
Escaped up into the hills
He never was seen
In his house again
And he lived on pepsi and pills
The pile of bills was getting higher I threw the whole lot in the fire I’d buried my head In the sand now instead I’m buried deep down in the mire Olaf Sturlasson's Poetry Corner: A young man who had all sorts of ills Was taking all manner of pills When he said with a shout I must sort myself out For I'm sick of skyrocketting bills ***
Image credit: Pinterest
Esther Chilton 
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