It’s Monday already – the summer is flying by! Here is a new limerick challenge for you. Your word is
BILLS
Last week’s word was JELLY. Here are your limericks:
Nicola Daly:
Remember that witch from Carlisle?
Casts spells with glorious style
Haven’t you seen her on the telly?
Stirring something that looks like jelly
And on her face is the wickedest smile.
Squirreljan:
The old biddy from Bath ate strawberry jelly While watching Corrie in front of the telly She slowly nodded off And then gave a loud cough Spilling cold jelly all over her belly
Lou by the Sea:
Fromage de Tête
“I’ve set it in aspic,” said posh Aunt Nellie What it was, was pig’s bits, and brains, in jelly She called it a delicacy But everyone else could see It would churn and sharply exit your belly Priorhouse Blog: For Haystak, I Pray Each time “Sail On” plays, for Haystak I pray, Wondering where his songs led him today. While Jelly Roll’s fame exploded like a popularity game, We must remember that life’s not measured by our sway. Teleportingweena: There once was a penguin named Kelly She loved to eat fish from the deli Waddling into the store She begged for some more And went home with her smelly fish jelly Frank Hubeny:
Shocking Jelly Donut Love Song
They filled a fine donut with jelly
and they said it was good for your belly.
Though it tasted quite good
as my mouth said it should,
my fine belly was shocked by the jelly.
Jelly Belly beans are so good
I could eat them all day as my food
But my teeth would rot
So I shall not
Instead, I’ll have salmon cooked on wood.
Just thinking ’bout Rene Descartes,
Expecting to increase my smarts.
Let buckets of jelly
Lay low in your belly;
You’ll always have sweet-smelling …
Just a Trifle
I love jelly, cold custard and cream
Set as trifle with fruit, tastes a dream
Some use sherry-soaked sponge
But I don’t like that gunge
My dessert remains childlike, it seems!
Rall:
her legs had turned to jelly at the thought of being interviewed on tele she wasn’t the type for all this hype far too unpleasant and smelly
Stewing
Nilsen the killer, it’s said,
boiled his victims’ heads – or so I’ve read.
It must have been smelly.
My knees turned to jelly
whenever gran boiled a pig’s head.
Jellybelly Saturday Night
The only right place to put jelly
is on toast and then into your belly..
Then when you are sated
and fully elated,
go sit it in front of the telly!
Ooey Gooey
A clumsy young baker named Kelly
Dropped a jar of the finest grape jelly
He slipped on the goo
And before he quite knew
He was sliding along on his belly
National Jelly Doughnut Day
It is National Jelly Doughnut Day
Celebrating pastry made this special way.
There’s always been great demand
For fried dough that’s been jammed
With a gooey fruit filling array.
Silly Frog’s Blog:
Utter Patience
I turn to jelly when my cat makes a mess.
My heart is too big, I must confess.
She cleared off my sill.
“Knock it off” if you will.
After all, it was clutter I’d meant to address.
Treehugger:
She caused a considerable melee,
When she pushed to the front of the Deli.
“I was here first “she spouted,
“Oh no you’re not,” someone shouted.
I’m ashamed, my legs turned to jelly.
Susan Batten:
I caught number 9 to the deli
and left there with strawberry jelly.
Then I ran for the bus
but this caused a great fuss
for I dropped the whole thing in my welly.
Therapy Bits:
There once was a fellow named Nelly,
Who loved eating mountains of jelly.
He gobbled a ton,
Till his buttons came undone,
From the growth of his wobbly round belly.
There once was a man from New Delhi
Who’s sandwich leaked grape on his belly.
He wiped it up with bread,
Saying “I rather instead,”
Have ham and cheese than jelly.
Pensitivity101:
Tom had a pain in his belly,
His Mum said he ate too much jelly:
He explained it with haste
Didn’t want it to waste,
And settled in front of the telly.
There once was an elephant named Nelly
who loved to eat all kinds of jelly
she loved it with cream,
but was a trifle extreme,
and that was why she was stuck in the deli.
Pictures Imperfect Blog:
A True Story Fromm H3
There once was a woman who had it set in her heart
On becoming a Harriett. She gave it a start:
She came and she ran,
She drank and she sang.
And because of her skills they named her Jelly Tart.
Dawgy Daddy Responds:
Kinda Silly
Take an oath and stick to it like jelly
Sometimes the outline looks kinda silly
Opinions will change as the story unfolds
Your confidence eventually starts to grow
And you enjoy a deep laugh from your belly
Murray Clarke:
What do you like when you're watching the telly?
Something tasty to fill up your belly?
My granny eats donuts with dollops of jelly!
They're really delish, and she gives them some welly.
Me? I'm partial to an enormous plate of vermicelli!
The Bag Lady:
Joe felt the weight of his belly
So no more visiting delis
Or buttered toast
Loved it the most
Eating it with too much jelly.
poetisinta:
A man with jelly for knees,
Went a-wobbling out in the breeze,
He met a brass band,
Who took him in hand,
And now he can speak Japanese!
iMartist:
Tummy Ache
Marvin had an ache in his belly
Scarfing down food while watching the telly
He was feeling quite queasy
Made himself barf, it sure wasn’t easy
Now he can’t even look at a jar of Marmalade jelly.
The Elephant’s trunk:
Slippity Doo Dah!
A poor clumsy doofus named Kelly
Lost control of his bowl full of jelly
It flew through the air
And stuck to his hair
Then slid down the front of his belly
He tried to stand up from the floor
But slipped on the mess even more
With a squish and a splat
He fell where he sat
Then wobbled his way to the door
Rohini:
The Wobble in the Wellie
There once was a wobble of jelly,
Who lived in the pocket of Nellie.
It jiggled all day,
Then wobbled away,
And returned in the boot of her wellie.
John McGuigan:
I’d like some jelly for to spread upon my bread
A wobbly sandwich sir, the confused waiter said
Jelly, not Jello snapped back the rude American
Oh sir, over here we don’t spread jelly sir
over here we spread jam.
Sexagenarian Scribbler:
Stood in the wings waiting for my cue
For the hundredth time I need the loo
Butterflies in my belly
My knees are like jelly
What a drama I put myself through
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
I could write a limerick 'bout Nelly And her very thin nylon belly But that ones already been writ Not by me I admit For she was full of custard and jelly
A cat who was eating some jelly
Was also watching the telly
He saw a big mouse
Right there in the house
And decided to give it some welly
***
Esther Chilton 
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