Laughing Along With A Limerick

It’s Monday already – the summer is flying by! Here is a new limerick challenge for you. Your word is

BILLS

Last week’s word was JELLY. Here are your limericks:

Nicola Daly:

Remember that witch from Carlisle?
Casts spells with glorious style
Haven’t you seen her on the telly?
Stirring something that looks like jelly
And on her face is the wickedest smile.

Squirreljan:

The old biddy from Bath ate strawberry jelly
While watching Corrie in front of the telly
She slowly nodded off
And then gave a loud cough
Spilling cold jelly all over her belly

Lou by the Sea:

Fromage de Tête

“I’ve set it in aspic,” said posh Aunt Nellie
What it was, was pig’s bits, and brains, in jelly
She called it a delicacy
But everyone else could see
It would churn and sharply exit your belly

Priorhouse Blog:

For Haystak, I Pray

Each time “Sail On” plays, for Haystak I pray,
Wondering where his songs led him today.
While Jelly Roll’s fame
exploded like a popularity game,
We must remember that life’s not measured by our sway.

Teleportingweena:

There once was a penguin named Kelly
She loved to eat fish from the deli
Waddling into the store
She begged for some more
And went home with her smelly fish jelly

Frank Hubeny:

Shocking Jelly Donut Love Song

They filled a fine donut with jelly
and they said it was good for your belly.
Though it tasted quite good
as my mouth said it should,
my fine belly was shocked by the jelly.

Kim Smyth:

Jelly Belly beans are so good
I could eat them all day as my food
But my teeth would rot
So I shall not
Instead, I’ll have salmon cooked on wood.

Keith Edgar Channing:

Just thinking ’bout Rene Descartes,
Expecting to increase my smarts.
Let buckets of jelly
Lay low in your belly;
You’ll always have sweet-smelling …

Ruth Blogs Here:

Just a Trifle

I love jelly, cold custard and cream
Set as trifle with fruit, tastes a dream
Some use sherry-soaked sponge
But I don’t like that gunge
My dessert remains childlike, it seems!

Rall:

her legs had turned to jelly
at the thought of
being interviewed on tele
she wasn’t the type
for all this hype
far too unpleasant and smelly

Cathy Cade:

Stewing

Nilsen the killer, it’s said,
boiled his victims’ heads – or so I’ve read.
It must have been smelly.
My knees turned to jelly
whenever gran boiled a pig’s head.

Life Lessons:

Jellybelly Saturday Night

The only right place to put jelly
is on toast and then into your belly..
Then when you are sated
and fully elated,
 go sit it in front of the telly!

Fandango:

Ooey Gooey

A clumsy young baker named Kelly
Dropped a jar of the finest grape jelly
He slipped on the goo
And before he quite knew
He was sliding along on his belly

The Limerick Guy:

National Jelly Doughnut Day

It is National Jelly Doughnut Day
Celebrating pastry made this special way.
There’s always been great demand
For fried dough that’s been jammed
With a gooey fruit filling array.

Silly Frog’s Blog:

Utter Patience

I turn to jelly when my cat makes a mess.
My heart is too big, I must confess.
She cleared off my sill.
“Knock it off” if you will.
After all, it was clutter I’d meant to address.

Treehugger:

She caused a considerable melee,
When she pushed to the front of the Deli.
“I was here first “she spouted,
“Oh no you’re not,” someone shouted.
I’m ashamed, my legs turned to jelly.

Susan Batten:

I caught number 9 to the deli
and left there with strawberry jelly.
Then I ran for the bus
but this caused a great fuss
for I dropped the whole thing in my welly.

Therapy Bits:

There once was a fellow named Nelly,
Who loved eating mountains of jelly.
He gobbled a ton,
Till his buttons came undone,
From the growth of his wobbly round belly.

John W. Howell:

There once was a man from New Delhi
Who’s sandwich leaked grape on his belly.
He wiped it up with bread,
Saying “I rather instead,”
Have ham and cheese than jelly.

Pensitivity101:

Tom had a pain in his belly,
His Mum said he ate too much jelly:
He explained it with haste
Didn’t want it to waste,
And settled in front of the telly.

Graeme Sandford:

There once was an elephant named Nelly
who loved to eat all kinds of jelly
she loved it with cream,
but was a trifle extreme,
and that was why she was stuck in the deli.

Pictures Imperfect Blog:

A True Story Fromm H3

There once was a woman who had it set in her heart
On becoming a Harriett. She gave it a start:
She came and she ran,
She drank and she sang.
And because of her skills they named her Jelly Tart.

Dawgy Daddy Responds:

Kinda Silly

Take an oath and stick to it like jelly
Sometimes the outline looks kinda silly
Opinions will change as the story unfolds
Your confidence eventually starts to grow
And you enjoy a deep laugh from your belly

Murray Clarke:

What do you like when you're watching the telly?
Something tasty to fill up your belly?
My granny eats donuts with dollops of jelly!
They're really delish, and she gives them some welly.
Me? I'm partial to an enormous plate of vermicelli!

The Bag Lady:

Joe felt the weight of his belly
So no more visiting delis
Or buttered toast
Loved it the most
Eating it with too much jelly.

poetisinta:

A man with jelly for knees,
Went a-wobbling out in the breeze,
He met a brass band,
Who took him in hand,
And now he can speak Japanese!

iMartist:

Tummy Ache

Marvin had an ache in his belly
Scarfing down food while watching the telly
He was feeling quite queasy
Made himself barf, it sure wasn’t easy
Now he can’t even look at a jar of Marmalade jelly.

The Elephant’s trunk:

Slippity Doo Dah!

A poor clumsy doofus named Kelly
Lost control of his bowl full of jelly
It flew through the air
And stuck to his hair
Then slid down the front of his belly

He tried to stand up from the floor
But slipped on the mess even more
With a squish and a splat
He fell where he sat
Then wobbled his way to the door

Rohini:

The Wobble in the Wellie

There once was a wobble of jelly,
Who lived in the pocket of Nellie.
It jiggled all day,
Then wobbled away,
And returned in the boot of her wellie.

John McGuigan:

I’d like some jelly for to spread upon my bread
A wobbly sandwich sir, the confused waiter said
Jelly, not Jello snapped back the rude American
Oh sir, over here we don’t spread jelly sir
over here we spread jam.

Sexagenarian Scribbler:

Stood in the wings waiting for my cue
For the hundredth time I need the loo
Butterflies in my belly
My knees are like jelly
What a drama I put myself through

Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:

I could write a limerick 'bout Nelly
And her very thin nylon belly
But that ones already been writ
Not by me I admit
For she was full of custard and jelly

Blind Wilderness:

A cat who was eating some jelly
Was also watching the telly
He saw a big mouse
Right there in the house
And decided to give it some welly

***


14 responses to “Laughing Along With A Limerick”

  1. nikidaly70 Avatar
    nikidaly70

    His icy voice gave me the chills
    I wanted to run to the hills
    He put his hand in his pocket
    And pulled out a ‘locket’
    ‘Can I use this to pay off all my bills?’

    * a ‘locket’ is the name of a throat sweet in the UK. They’re foul.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. squirreljan Avatar
      squirreljan

      Ooh, I love lockets!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. There’s always one… 🤣

        Like

      2. nikidaly70 Avatar
        nikidaly70

        There is, isn’t there!? 🤣🤣🤣

        Liked by 1 person

      3. nikidaly70 Avatar
        nikidaly70

        I can’t stand how they break and then slime slithers down the back of your thraot…. 🤢

        Like

    2. The answer is most definitely no 🤣🤣🤣

      Liked by 1 person

  2. the bills are due

    but hell this we already knew

    why are you laughing??????????

    Liked by 2 people

  3. squirreljan Avatar
    squirreljan

    The old biddy from Bath threw the bills in the bin
    And sat back in her chair, sipping her gin
    She owed lots on the betting
    And her pants, she was wetting
    The horses raced on – oh my God, it’s a win!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. One lucky lady!

      Like

  4. dutifullydeer6ab803ea0e Avatar
    dutifullydeer6ab803ea0e

    Hi Esther,

    Here’s a little something from Bill.

    “Bill’s were the biggest, he said, They were nearly as big as your head. We were not keen to feel them, Nor ask for a quick dem. We would keep our illusions instead”.

    Have a good week,

    Susan

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Very clever, Susan.

      Like

    2. nikidaly70 Avatar
      nikidaly70

      My mind is going to all kind of places!

      Like

  5. Bills falling due makes me aware
    I‘m not paid sufficient to care.
    Let’s pay what we owe,
    Lest some so-and-so
    Starts causing a fiscal nightmare

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Happy Monday! Thanks for the new word! Here is my entry:

    https://wp.me/p3RE1e-ou8

    Liked by 1 person

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