You have two weeks to complete the latest story challenge so I thought I’d go for a bumper one. Can you tell a story in 100 words using the following words in it somewhere:
- EXPIRE
- SQUINT
- CULT
- LEMON
- GRANDPA
- STAMPEDE
- HELICOPTER
- MARKET
- POMPOM
- WOOF
The previous challenge was to write a story in 57 words using the following six words in it somewhere:
- CAT
- PIES
- TRAVESTY
- DIAMONDS
- CHAIR
- STATIONERY
Here are your fantastic stories:
Lou by the Sea:
Bloody cat
We hid the stolen diamonds in the chicken pies baked for tea, supposedly. No-one would suspect. Just pies on a counter top. The cat ate the pies. The police found the evidence later covered in poo. Invitations to view the electric chair event were sent on headed stationery. Such a travesty. I’ve always hated litter trays.
Who’s the Boss?
Power and privilege had intoxicated her!
Carla’s deranged spending, after winning the lottery, was a travesty. Diamonds, 24-karat gold embossed stationery, even caviar pies, weren’t part of her once imagined plan for charitable causes. Reality had escaped her until her cat refused to allow her a seat on an $8,000.00 chair. Nothing, at all, had actually changed.
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, she thought, as she sat on the chair looking at her left hand. It would be a travesty if he didn’t present her with more than just a bunch of flowers this evening, especially after the last time when they found his cat in the stationery cupboard eating her freshly-baked pies.
Spoilage of Rain
Glistening raindrop diamonds settle on the fur
of the chairbound sleeping cat, but it does not stir.
Pies upon the window ledge grow soggy in the mist
of that travesty of moisture with which they have been kissed.
My stationery soggy, I find my words won’t stay,
so I give up on this poetry fast fading away.
The Cracks
His composure cracked like shattered diamonds. He gripped the metal chair, knuckles white.
“A travesty,” he hissed. “She was my masterpiece.”
Torres pulled photos from the stationery folder: the nurse safe, holding her orange cat.
“We found your recipes too,” she said, dropping evidence photos of poisoned pies on the table.
His immortal facade finally crumbled completely.
My favorite stop while riding the train, is the Station Ery. It’s a magical place, where cats wear diamond tiaras, chairs play music when you sit in them, and we are served tasty travesty fruit pies whenever we want. I make sure to send letters home on stationery from Station Ery, sealed with a diamond shaped stamp.
Cheryl was sitting in her favorite chair writing a letter on the cat stationary we gave her. She was writing about the travesty of having her diamonds stolen out of her jewelry box. On top of that, her Thanksgiving pies were ruined because she left out the sugar! Once she was done with the letter, she’d try again..
“Suggestions for karaoke?”
“‘Diamonds are forever’ by Shirley Bassey.” messaged the spies.
“ ‘Love Cats’ by The Cure.” prayed the Cataholics.
“ ‘Travesty’ by the BeeGees.” boarded the illiterate pirates.
“ ‘Empty Chairs at Empty Tables’ from Les Mis’ voiced the actors.
“ ‘Stationery to Stationery’ by David Bowie.” punned the comedians.
Anyway, a truly great evening was had by all.
I am telling this tale on my finest stationary suitable for framing. Yesterday, the cat used a chair to boost up to the counter, and walk through all my cooling pies. The travesty of the situation was only surpassed by her scattering my diamonds drying on the sink into the drain. I’m glad she didn’t eat anything.
Betrayal
Henry the eighth cat of Frederick York lounged in his diamond studded chair (which the staff considered a travesty but nobody asked them). He dictated a carefully worded letter about the declining quality of the local bakery’s mouse pies. Every meow was taken down on Henry’s private stationery before it was burned to ashes by his secretary.
The Will was written on official stationery but the family declared it a travesty.
They knew their Aunt was eccentric, but to leave her estate to her CAT?
The beast glared at them from its padded chair, the diamonds in its collar taunting them.
They were offered pies and sandwiches for lunch whilst the cat had caviar.
Murray Clarke:
It was a glorious day for the Women’s Institute A.G.M. The chair, Lady Isobel Farquare – who had her own stationery and seven cats – wore her favourite diamond brooch. Especially for the auspicious occasion, Isobel baked some of her award-winning vegan pies. However, the lack of a transparent voting procedure made a total travesty of the whole event.
The Burglar
I smell pies and am drawn to this house where they have left the window open. I walk the floor with grace.
Sitting atop a chair, near a table that is covered in diamonds with a note of some sort on stationery. The diamonds glisten, begging to be batted around.
I am a cat-burglar after all, feline travesty.
The cat slept on the chair while I wrote on borrowed stationery, calling it a travesty that life wasn’t sweeter than pies and promises.
Yet in the margins, I found diamonds—small truths glittering between crumbs and quiet.
By morning, even the cat approved, purring over the pages like a soft editor of ordinary magic, reminding me nothing is wasted when we notice.
The official police report called it an unsolved travesty. On the opening night of Cats the star Edna McKern was struck in the face with two crème pies. Her studded diamond choker was stolen and they found a note on N.Y.P.D. stationary lying on a chair. It implicated the police chief as the one who orchestrated the heist.
I bought a cat at the weekend along with two meat pies for our tea. Unfortunately it turned into a chaotic travesty of a meal. The cat escaped. It was hungry and scoffed one of the pies. Then it grabbed my diamond necklace to play with, lay down on a chair to sleep… Claws out. Which would rip through stationery they were so sharp!
Surprise
The mouse was stationary, but the cat saw it sitting beside the pies on the counter. Intrigued, the cat moved closer. Suddenly, the mouse squeaked and jumped onto the table, it slid wildly across, sending a necklace of diamonds onto the floor. The cat meowed and ran straight into the chair before turning around. What a travesty.
Petulant Pussy
A cat with diamonds sat on the chair,
Declared that pies were so unfair,
‘A travesty,’ she cried in a state,
Got so cross began to gyrate,
I’ll write a letter of complaint!
And headed for the stationery – no restraint,
She scribbled and scribbled until she could write no more,
Finally, exasperation sauntered out the door!
Leaning forward in the chair, the detective scrutinized two faded pictures—pies sitting on an open window’s sill and a cat stretched out beside its empty dish. No mention of diamonds in the report was a travesty.
No wonder it became a cold case.
The detective reached for a blank piece of stationery and wrote SHABBY INVESTIGATING!
Rall:
the cat sat
on the chair
taking a break
from ripping the stationery
to shreds on the desk
there she was
all dressed to the nines
wearing diamonds
baking pies in the kitchen
trying to present a picture
of normalcy for the interview
What a traversty!
C’est La Vie
Rich, eccentric Farley Beauchamp left everything in his will to his daughter, Felicia: the cat, his rickety rocking chair, a box of monogrammed stationery, and a case of frozen pies. The diamonds, however, went entirely to the maid, Simone.
Felicia read the lawyer’s letter twice.
“This,” she said quietly, setting the paper down, “is an absolute travesty.”
The privileged cat seemed bored. Her diamond studded collar sparkled as she lay sprawled out on a cushioned chair, waiting for something to excite her.
Suddenly, her owner ,swearing, dropped a tray of hot pies onto the table, spilling gravy all over the stationery, prepared earlier for her husband’s speech.
That will liven things up, purred Monty.
Unemcumbered
The office chair was tucked neatly under the desk, stationery order complete, cat fed and contentedly sleeping. The trusted assistant’s diligence rewarded with increasingly more tasks.
The safe door was left open, all the little brifka packets of diamonds; gone. What a travesty no one had time to notice her finger was in far too many pies!
Susan Batten:
The Chair of the University used a diamond-encrusted cat as a logo on his personal stationery, as if he were nobility or something, but it was a total travesty because far from being a renowned patron of a cat protection society, he was merely a manufacturer of tasty pork pies.
The Story of Stationary Cat (Shrodinger’s ?)
My cat has diamonds in her ears
And sits upon her chair
She purrs so loud the neighbour hears
She preens her ginger hair
She dines on mice and salmon pies
But what a travesty
Imagination has no eyes
So my cat you cannot see
The Cat Who Kept the Peace
The cat guarded a box of diamonds atop a rickety chair, a silent protest against the travesty unfolding downstairs. Pies burned, tempers rose, and apologies were scribbled on borrowed stationery no one would send. By dawn, the house cooled, the jewels untouched, and the cat, satisfied, finally slept while memories of chaos lingered in every quiet corner.
the cat was always ever there
sitting in the bird watching chair
and the diamonds of her eyes
noticed and reflected on the hyprocrits that make
travesties of the urgent urban tangent sanguine situations
with and in which they lay and live too
so the pie was the gem and jewel of her aye
and stationery messed moving
and going nowheres too!
***
Image credit: Pinterest
Esther Chilton 
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