I hope you all had a lovely weekend and have a great week ahead. Here’s your new limerick challenge. Your word is
TREAT
Last week’s prompt was RIDE. There were some brilliant limericks:
Nicola Daly:
‘No way! That’s the scariest ride!
The one where there’s nowhere to hide!’
But after a quick beer
He’d lost all his fear
And now that beer, down his leg it did slide!
Wonderful Ride
When I ride I can look out and say,
What a wonderful, wonderful day!
If you’re sighing inside,
then come out for a ride.
Do not hide for the Lord leads the way.
Bike Ride
There once was a fellow named Clyde
Who insisted on taking a ride
He borrowed a bike
Riding up hills he didn’t like
But he coasted downhill full of pride
I break the chain and bark loudly all the time
Running wild and free in my own dawgy mind
And like the ocean slowing rolling with the tide
I invite you to jump in and go along for the ride
Letting you sink or swim , deciding to bark or whine
‘Ride like the wind!’ said the man name of Mike. ‘Can I go pillion? It’s speed that I like.” ‘Hop aboard.’ he replied, ‘Let’s go for a ride.’ But who put the push in pushbike?
Susan Batten:
I went for a ride on a yale. It would clearly result in a tale full of madness and fun. My! That yale sure could run. I hope mum turns up soon to post bail.
It’s as a husband I thrive.
Four wives and I’m still alive.
I can say with great pride,
It’s been quite a ride…
But there will not be a number five!!!
Be Prepared
Young Sally had been a girl guide. Young men would take her for a ride. Once their purpose was bared Sal was always prepared, and their ardour would quickly subside.
I’m finding it hard to decide
How to answer the prompt as supplied.
I just don’t have time
To make a witty rhyme
And to bring you along for the ride.
Squirreljan:
The old biddy from Bath wanted to ride On the merry-go-round at Eastertide Climbing, legs akimbo, upon A horse so slippy it shone She fell off laughing so much that she cried The Bag Lady: Miss Charlotte Pickle loved to ride Always a satchel by her side Lover’s food and drink inside Saw him, gave a wink of pride I’m waiting just for you, he cried — Charlotte Peeker loved to ride Kept a shotgun by her side Raised it for a single shot Perfect aim, she had not All around her people died.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
I'm struggling to think of a rhyme To complete this challenge in time I've searched far and wide Gone on a wild ride To track down that elusive rhyme
Goofballs Everywhere
If you don’t want to be taken for a ‘ride’,
Know a PhD is merely evidence that someone tried.
Credentials aren’t foolproof,
Any person can be a “goof”.
Wealth of knowledge is no good lest it’s well applied.
There once was a wild, windy ride,
With laughter you just couldn’t hide.
Through twists and through turns,
With thrills and with burns,
You held on and shouted with pride!
More Than Pride Was Lost.
As much as it hurt my pride,
I phoned the police to confide.
That I’m a silly old clot,
And completely forgot
My car’s space at the Park ‘n’ Ride.
There once was a man named freddy
whose legs weren’t feeling so steady
he went for a ride
flipped his bike on its side
And said would someone call me a medic?
There once was a guy named Mc Bride, Who was consumed with his own pride, He always bought the best, And one day came the test, By the grifter who took him for a ride.
Murray Clarke:
Margot simply couldn't abide being six feet wide It made her feel somewhat teary-eyed. But, in truth, she was actually as thin as a pin Thanks to drinking too many bottles of gin. "I'm not fat after all!" She gratefully cried.
The car was out for a ride,
Their excitement could not be denied,
Not the doc or the vet,
But the beach to get wet,
They were ready, not running to hide.
Rall:
he took me for a ride said wanted to be by my side it’s happening again i’m such a gullible ole hen these guys have got such a hide Lou by the Sea: By Lou age 6 See how I ride the open top bus Me and my Mum – just the two of us I’ve got the wind in my hair Stand at the front if I dare It makes me smile when nothing else does Pictures Imperfect Blog:
A Hitchhiker’s Guide to a Limerick
There once was a young man from Dundee Who wanted to get to Glasgow for free. He stood by the side of the road. No ride! He wept even though he showed his bare knee. Christine Mallaband-Brown: I decided to ring “local ride” And waited by the road side Till a horse came along Which was absolutely wrong! A jockey? I’m not! Better hide! Ruth Blogs Here: Horses for Courses Can you ride a horse? Someone asks me So I answer affirmatively Though it’s decades indeed Since I sat on a steed Sure I’d manage it quite easily It’s a beautiful feeling to sit In the saddle again, I’ll admit Till the horse starts to trot Will it canter? Hope not Now it’s galloping! Help! Holy shit! Pete Springer: Terrible Tony took his wife’s passing in stride If it were me, I would have cried and cried. The sap didn’t even take time to grieve, Those who had sympathy were truly naive. He’s already shopping for a mail-order bride. Kim Smyth: Little John chose to stand aside While waiting on his bus to ride He wanted to have fun So he was positioned to run When the bus came, he then ran to hide.
Birdie Biddle was a bride She liked steak, chicken fried When her groom had proposed She said she supposed But just don’t take her for a ride
Tony:
The bruise, Rolling, not like the stone docile to the laws of the world, But like a drunken heart that descends its own depths, Bruising at the black angles of the soul, And finding in his fall an obscure pleasure. My mind is rolling, as well as a bad vice, In the oily folds of boredom. En Français: Ecchymose, Rouler, non point comme la pierre docile aux lois du monde, Mais tel un cœur ivre qui dévale ses propres abîmes, Se meurtrissant aux angles noirs de l’âme, Et trouvant dans sa chute une obscure volupté. Mon esprit roule, ainsi qu’un vice las, Dans les replis huileux de l’ennui. Blind Wilderness: A flea who wanted to hide Decided to go for a ride He fell off his bike Went into the dyke And thought he had really died
I had a ride on a diesel train as it sped along the track. I had a ride in a limousine and a ride in a London cab. I had a ride in an aeroplane in economy at the back. But the best ride I ever had Well, I shall not reveal her name
Starring Rudy
Rudy cat took a ride to the vet
now he has daily meds he must get
no more scratches and kicks
in a Churu I mix
and Rudy will beg me for it
There once was a man out for a ride,
Who pedaled along full of pride,
But he hit a small bump,
Took a rather hard thump,
Fell off his bike… and just sighed.
Millie, thrilled, went along for a ride
She didn’t have time left to bide
She left for her date
Didn’t want to be late
Kept her phone and her purse to one side
Millie’s date Buster, just never showed
The shock and sadness felt like a load
She knelt down and cried
her dog at her side
Vowed to stay single or so I was told
The Maiden and the Dragon
There was a beast acting wild and quite strange, A modern maid though, 'he's got to change,' Holding a ring filled with mace, She sprayed it straight in his face, And he fled at a steep pace out of range. She read her list, then checked it twice, Dropped her fob down a hole (not so nice!) Yet she held her leaf of paper with pride Crying 'let's restore and ride!' Thinking, That dragon had better get a disguise!' The Elephant’s Trunk:
Giddy-up
An eager young tourist named Clyde
Fancied a mechanical ride.
The bull gave a jerk,
And the gears ceased to work.
Now he’s stuck with his legs spread too wide!
The Ride That Took More Than a Ticket
There once was a ride at the fair,
That flung folks straight up in the air,
One man lost his hat,
Then shouted, “Drat!
I think I just left my soul there!
I break the chain and bark loudly all the time
Running wild and free in my own dawgy mind
And like the ocean slowing rolling with the tide
I invite you to jump in and go along for the ride
Letting you sink or swim , deciding to bark or whine
Treehugger:
What’s more important than a bath?
I need one in my new gaff.
The estate agent hesitated,
Bit his lip and then stated,
Don’t need one, not modern, they’re naff.
Poetry - Cabbage After Christmas:
High-Maintenance, Babe
That Della’s a babe, but high-maintenance ride
Summer dates, car windows must open wide
when temps are hot, she’s happy not
close them tight in winter, or she’s overwrought–
Word got around…no more young men applied
Sexagenarian Scribbler:
To a lass I was rather fond a
I took for a ride on my Honda
It was full steam ahead
As together we sped
Off out into the wild blue yonder
iMartist:
The Snide Bride of Mr. Hyde
I'm so very horny thought Mr. Hyde
Asked for a kinky pegging ride
His bride thought he was quite daft
But strapped one on and tore his...
Ask
and you shall receive,
maniacally laughed his snide bride
ride the wave away
kiss of death
she s got enough friends
and in the end who cares anyways
lmao
***
Esther Chilton 
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