Happy new week to you all. Here’s your new limerick challenge. Your word is
RIDE
Last week’s prompt was BATH. There were some brilliant limericks:
Nicola Daly:
I once had an uncle Arth
Got lost on the way to Bath
Didn’t half give him a fright
When he turned left not right
And met a bull on the warpath.
A Soap Opera
Raymond drew himself a hot bath
But he slipped on the soap — you do the math
He slid down the hall
Crashed into the wall
And left quite a sudsy path!
Fields of Purple and Pink
Fields of aster were were glowing in purple and pink
Amber needed to pause for a minute to reflect and think
The alpenglow of dusk began to cover Mt. Rainer’s top
Starting to announce the beauty that made her stop
Enjoying this bath of smell from natures wild growing crop
In Bath, in the Pump Rooms they say, is a ghost who saw the Roman’s decay, in 520 AD, just after tea, when the legion took a Roman Holiday.
Susan Batten:
My temperature shot up in my wrath, for my boy was avoiding his bath. He had played in the mud and got covered in crud, but I swore I would have the last laugh.
It’s a great form of relaxation
That leads to exhilaration –
To put stress on the run
Enjoy indulgent bath fun…
And you’ll come away with a squeaky clean sensation!
Mis-led Youth
She was a young lady from Bath. He was a shy gardener called Garth. As her smiles made him bolder she forgot what Ma told her. He led her up the garden path.
Bath is a beautiful city,
It’s streets and its houses so pretty
There’s a good Park & Ride
To take you inside.
But I’m sorry, this just isn’t witty.
Bath Math Path
Since a shower’s as good as a bath
and my heart is more sure than my math,
I’ll rejoice and I’ll say
I am blessed everyday day
and not lost – not at all – on this path.
Squirreljan:
There once was an old biddy from Bath Who loved learning and having a laugh She took a course in Excel In an attempt to excel At plotting giggle wees on a graph
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A Dragon with fire in his belly One day said "I'm getting so smelly" "I must take a bath" Which made his friends laugh For it put out the fire in his belly
Woke Goes Broke
An edgy comic hired to offer many a laugh,
Was found offensive to a couple on staff.
That show was completely sold out!
But caving to two who might pout.
The venue canceled him and they took a complete bath.
This story becomes more common every day.
The few loudest voices on all of us prey.
For those who “cave in”,
There’s no way to win,
Lest we stop giving ‘complainers’ their way.
There once was a duck in a bath,
Who splashed with ridiculous wrath.
Soap bubbles took flight,
Much to his delight,
And chaos replaced the calm path.
A Chilling Limerick
Dave ran his wife a deep bath.
But meanly and just for a laugh,
He said it was hot
It quite plainly was not –
Yep – Dave’s a complete psychopath.
Murray Clarke:
If you think I smell, you're just having a laugh! Are you suggesting I'm in need of a bath? I soaked in the shower for over an hour - A deluge of water on full power. I'm thinking you're some kind of psychopath.
Surely you’re having a laugh?
You can’t expect me to take a bath!
Soap in my eyes
Makes me cry in surprise,
Use the hose outside on the path!
Rall:
it’s time to have a bath
relax the limbs and laugh
was easy getting in
but can’t get out
best call the ambulance take heart
Lou by the Sea:
Best in show
Mrs Bath gave her name to her prize winning bun While Miss Sally made the tastiest home cooked Lunn Which was the best Was a yearly contest Bringing an abundance of rivalry and fun
A journalist reporting from Bath
talked extensively about the Bundesrath.
My teutonic feelings were stirred!
How could he pronounce this word
with a th? That’s clearly the sign of sociopath.
***
Two sparrows were frolicking in a footbath
Thinking that it was their own private birdbath.
Along came a peregrine,
A bird of prey, decidedly keen –
Who turned the scene in a bloodbath.
Christine Mallaband-Brown:
Old Bernard slipped in his hipbath
One foot flying high to his wrath
He was so angry
The pain made him jangly
And his soap flew in his eye.. Spu-lath!
There was a girl named Cath She hated to take a bath So when she started to smell From her lofty perch she fell And she began to do the math
***
From a lofty perch she fell
Right on the Highway to Hell
It happened to that girl, Cath
When she refused to take a bath
Now it’s a true story all still tell
Kate in Cornwall:
Some folks say grass, path and bath
Rhyming with class, pass and laugh
We can’t all be the same
So let me explain
That my BATH does not rhyme with ARSE!
Tony:
The bath,
The bath is smoking
Under the lamp
The water dreams
And smiles
A bare arm
Disturbs the wave
The shadow slides
And is based on it
A thrill
Short, discreet
Light skin
Unravels in it
And the steam
Very cuddly
Hide a little
What she guesses
Nothing moves
All sighs
The water is warm
Seems to smile.
There once was a jolly sociopath. Who hung out by the public bath. He had hope to score, Just one dip more, And thought not a bit of the aftermath iMartist: Somethin' Stinky This Way Comes Gerald was a genius at math By golly he's on the right path But pew, does he stink For such a genius, does he even think ? Because even scholars need to take a bath.
it’s such a laugh to take a bath with your lover there’s laughing and splashing as you tell her you love her oh such a delightful laugh to have it away in a nice warm bath
a confident woman from Bath
dared hike up a strenuous path
by force of sheer will
she climbed up a hill
then ran down as on a warpath
There once was a cat named McBath,
Who slipped on the tiles in the bath,
He splashed with a yowl,
Then glared like an owl,
And swore he’d avoid water’s wrath.
Priorhouse Blog:
When the storm came right across our path,
All prepped for its lightning and wrath.
But the pipes gave a cough,
Then the water shut off
And the soap would not rinse from my bath.
Stinky Johnny
Johnny thought he had plenty of time
To take a bath, wash off the grime
but time ticked by
No time to cry
He knew smelling bad wasn’t a crime
Johnny’s friends all said that he stank
He smelled so rotten and rank
He lost his friends
Ended with the bends
Now he needs an oxygen tank
The Fantastic Five? The Fantastic Four joked they were really five, With their strange cosmic condition they thrived, But with moves super rapid, Their legs became flaccid So the Thing soaked in a copper bath to revive Then Mr Fantastic said, 'Are we so very odd?' With that, the Human Torch flew quickly abroad. The Invisible Woman vanished from view, But to make room for what or who? Just the Hulk resembled a wet cod! Pete Springer: I’d better get home, mom’s on the warpath. Wish I hadn’t washed my pants in our birdbath. Will it do any good to apologize? I already sense the heat in her eyes. Pretty sure I’ve earned her wrath. poetography.ink: I was looking for a belly laugh so I jumped into a steaming bath water tickled my toes while I read funny prose and bubble bath tickled my nose The Elephant’s Trunk:
Ooh, that Smell
A stubborn old farmer named Wrath Went down a malodorous path To save on the water He told his ripe daughter “It ain’t time for your annual bath!” Treehugger: What’s more important than a bath? I need one in my new gaff. The estate agent hesitated, Bit his lip and then stated, Don’t need one, not modern, they’re naff. Richmond Road: In the bath she examined her toes Then each bit all the way to her nose Said, ‘I’m beautifully clean And just slightly obscene But not seen. So there’s no one who knows *** She stepped out of the bath, cleaned her teeth Stepped into a robe, nought beneath She was well over forty But still felt sort of naughty And I’m here to confirm that belief *** She stepped out of her robe into bed It was here that sweet nothings were said She had finished her bath She had dismissed the staff To comply with the thoughts in her head
bub was in the tub
now it s too small
to bath
and shower
has the power
of hot water
and soap
not on a rope tho!
Esther Chilton 
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