Good morning or afternoon, depending where you are. I hope you had a good weekend. Here’s your new limerick challenge. Your word is
SPROUT
Last week’s prompt was HISS. There were some entertaining limericks:
A snake in the grass liked to hiss,
from Thurso right down to Liss;
wherever he went,
from Sutherland to Kent,
there was no one that it couldn’t diss.
Susan Batten:
Poor Pete had a bit of a lis’
which made his best diction a hiss.
His girlfriend despaired
(comprehension impaired),
but he stopped her complaint with a kiss.
I don’t have a cat to hiss
I have two dogs I sometimes miss
If we’re out and about
I remember no doubt
I bring them home something to kiss!
Deterring a Guesst
As I grow, I find I must divesst
myself of old skins. While half-dresssed,
visitors I dismisss
with a malignant hissss…
But I’m quite harmless when I’m not stresssed.
I tried very hard to determine
If my blind date was Austrian or German.
I’m neither, I’m Swiss,
She replied with a hiss,
Then delivered a cautionary sermon!
Hissing Syd
Syd was a heckler, a pain in the arse
Loathed and detested by all in the cast.
He’d boo and he’d hiss
(Well, you get the gist)
Syd was a horrible, snake in the grass.
Kiss Like This
There is bliss when a kiss doesn’t miss
though that snake in the grass loves to hiss.
Though the moon might be round
the fine sun can be found
in that bliss when we kiss just like this.
Hisserino
They hiss and they boo when he reads.
(It’s not what his big ego needs.)
He never gets credits
for writings (or edits!).
His limerick never succeeds.
–
He tries and he tries but he can’t
write a limerick that sounds like a chant.
On paper, they’re crappy
and make no one happy…
It’s too bad his talent’s so scant.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
Sid was a snake who would hiss
In order to ensnare a miss
He would then bare his fangs
To impress the gangs
Of females he wished to then kiss.
Bye
Across the World the “globalists” all “hiss”.
To see Freedom ‘fail’ is their only wish.
It’s crushing power they seek
But their resolve is so weak
Their clear hypocrisy is something we won’t miss.
There once was a whispering hiss,
That slithered through shadows amiss.
From cracks in the stone,
Where no seed had been sown,
It promised both peril and bliss.
A dragon who lived in the mist,
Was usually easily pissed.
He tried to roar loud,
To impress the whole crowd,
But only let out a small hiss.
Murray Clarke:
Sidney the snake started to hiss.
The last thing he wanted was a kiss.
He opened his mouth and out came his tongue,
It made him feel so incredibly young.
Oh how Sid loved eating . . . FISH!!!!!
She puckered her lips for a kiss,
Closed her eyes and made a wish:
It was not what she thought
As she found she’d been caught
In a game of Hit or Miss.
Rall:
you never give me a kiss
even when you are pissed
so leave me alone
go and get stoned
she sneered with a long drawn out hiss.
They claimed Alger Hiss was a Red,
A Soviet spy, it was said;
With Nixon’s fierce ire,
Paranoia entire,
Found commies ‘neath everyone’s bed.
Lou by the Sea:
Chutzpah
I love my cat so I gave her a kiss
She was unimpressed so just made a hiss
She gave me the side eye
Turned her back as a goodbye
Her audacity’s not something I’ll miss.
Misplaced Passion
He leaned forward as he was planning to kiss
her. He bent his head, aimed and miss-
ed her. But undeterred
He bent further and erred
again. “Get lost!” she snarled with a hiss.
Two cats met with a hiss
So traded swipes hit and miss
And as they stood there
There was love in the air
So they sealed their bliss with a kiss.
She was always a proper miss
Even angry never a hiss
A boy got too rude
Her nerves came unglued
Decided to just “take the piss”.
There once was a doctor named Hess,
Who wanted his patients to confess.
To every little sin,
As to why they’re not thin,
Then dismissed each with a hiss.
I referred to my girlfriend as ‘Mrs’
In response I received only hisses
To dispel any doubt
She promptly moved out
Now I have to look elsewhere for kisses.
Oh, what bliss
to hear the hiss
of a steaming pent-up piss.
I don’t wish to be rude
or to appear too crude
but the splash of a slash and the hiss of a piss
are the sounds of humanity that prove we exist
In youth there is a kind of bliss
To release a fart with the barest hiss
But as age takes its toll
You await the eye roll
That follows each bloof that no one can miss.
Zombie’s Hiss
There once was a zombie so grim,
With eyeballs all sunken and dim.
With a shamble and sway,
It hunted its prey–
And let out a hiss while dragging a limb.
Hiss, hiss!
There once was a cobra named Hiss,
Who thought he was famous for this:
He’d scare every crowd
By shouting out loud—
But mostly just whispered, “hiss… hiss.”
There is a noise I can’t dismiss
It is the bloody awful hiss
It’s constant sound
In my head goes round…
The echoing drone of tinnit(i)s!
The Superficial Snake
There once was a snake quite superficial,
Who thought all deep thoughts artificial,
When asked what was his bliss,
He recoiled and gave a hiss,
Claiming that was his final answer and that was official!
King Cobra
A foolish young hiker named Chris
Met a cobra he wouldn’t dare dis
When he tried being sweet
By offering some meat
The king spat out a low warning hiss.
A puppy was startled in the dead of the night
By the black cat’s hiss in the neon moons light
The puppy was quick to do a circling dance
Beginning the start of an unlikely romance
Two steppin’ into the morning felt so right.
hiss another miss
daddy oust
twenty five bye bye
***
Image quote: Pinterest
Esther Chilton 
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