I hope this Monday finds you well. Here’s a fresh limerick challenge for you. Your word is
HISS
Last week’s prompt was CAST. There were some great limericks:
Susan Batten:
When Pete knew that his problem was cast,
his obsession with fishing just passed.
He’d tied knots in the reeds
and lost weights in the weeds,
so he knew this fast cast was his last.
She knew that the die had been cast
No longer will she walk very fast
Her back caused her pain
And her knee popped again
So she finished the race in dead last.
Squirreljan:
Cast away those dreams and keep smiling
That smile that is so beguiling
To all that you meet
Men fall at your feet
Smile and extract what they’re hiding.
Young Cassie was feeling chagrined.
He’d cast her aside – used and binned.
She got herself plastered
forgetting the b******
and so cast her fate to the wind.
Boys kissed her and over she rolled,
all wanting to have but not hold.
She’ll need to abstain
before searching again
for one cast in a different mould.
A Roman called Julius Caesar
Was the world’s most belligerent geezer.
He thought he could last,
But the die had been cast,
And some brutes turned him into a wheezer.
Witch Book?
A dyslexic old with called Nell,
While attempting to cast a new spell,
Didn’t properly look,
Picked up the wrong book,
But succeeded in casting a smell!
Casting Cares Away
All my worries are worrying fast.
They have cast into now what was past,
but today is today
and the past’s gone away
so this worrisome present can’t last.
In the theatre, the musical cast,
Were singing the song that was last,
but the audience, bored,
had all left, or snored,
which left Andrew Lloyd Webber aghast.
No Such Luck
He baits his hook and hopes for fish.
He casts his line; admires the swish.
He waits and waits
and waits and waits
and then goes home to a fish-free dish.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
An old man who thought his life was past
Somehow ended up in a cast
To the Lord he did beg
Let me break a leg
As I take to the stage at long last.
We Boomers knew our youth wouldn’t last.
Now that the aging die has been cast,
Sentimentally
Our old music can be…
A bridge to our romanticized past!
He’s Back!
Trump became our president again at last!
Despite the aspersions that the corrupt media cast.
Their agenda was clear.
Elite frauds were in fear,
That he’d expose all their “grifts” from the past.
There once was an actor miscast,
Who clung to each line from the past.
He tripped on the stage,
Forgot half a page,
Still bowed as if none of it passed.
Love Island
A bashful bald fellow named Freddie,
Wished he was calm, cool, and steady.
He joined the Love Island cast,
By a mistake unsurpassed,
Now he’s blushing and feeling unsteady.
There was a ditzy witch from the past
who just talked incredibly fast –
When asked to undo an old charm
that she’d put by mistake on a farm,
‘twas in vain… the misspell had been cast!
More Than He Expected
The old fisherman was ready to cast
Flung his line with a glorious blast
It sailed through the air
He caught a fish and a chair
And a boot from some summer long past.
Murray Clarke:
“The Commandments – thou hast broken the last.
You’ve pulled a fast one and had a blast.
How dare you covet my darling wife!
My beautiful, devoted Trouble and Strife!
I’ll now say a prayer, and out you’ll be cast.”
I had never been one to cast
A line on the water so vast
In the hope that a fish
Found the worm a nice dish
As I hauled it on board really fast!
Rall:
she wanted to be in the cast…
so she knew she’d have to get smart…
if she wanted that lead role…
and so she was told…
she’d have to visit him in the dark.
Lou by the Sea:
Gymnastics for seniors
My arm is in a plaster cast
It’s coming off on Tuesday at last
I’ve scratched the itch
It’s given me a twitch
Cartwheels and handstands now in the past.
For an explanation of this limerick, click here
I Swear!
When Robert Aramayo in this -“BITCH OF!” – a movie was cast
As a man with Tourette’s he was – “WANKER!” – aghast.
He had to show tics and – “SPUNK FOR MILK!” – to swear a lot.
But – “I SELL DRUGS!” – he gave it a shot.
Then he received the BAFTA, this year – “what a c**!” – unsurpassed.
I skated around really fast
Fell down got my arm in a cast
So now I must wait
This is my fate
Until time in the cast has passed.
The witches cast their evil spell
With toe of frog
tongue of dog
And tolling bell
Their curses rang across the burning pit
Let chaos fall on those who dare to write a limerick
A Pirate Named Cast
There once was a pirate named Cast,
Whose temper would flare up so fast.
With a thunderous blast,
He’d shout from the mast,
Then laugh as the cannonballs passed.
The actress was truly mis-cast
Her elegance was fading fast
As Dorothy in OZ
She was really a loss
As a witch she would have surpassed!
on a wall a strange shadow was cast
that left all who saw it aghast
but erupted applause
when the crowd learned the cause
was a little hedgehog walking past.
An avant-garde cast played in a review,
For many their acting debut,
There was an off key soprano,
The crowd thought it was panto,
And cheered loudly, ‘Look, he’s behind you!’
A man who was cast in a show
Began to take on a glow
His nose went quite red
But he thought he was dead
When he just couldn’t see his big toe.
There once was a dusk soft and gray,
When shadows stretched long in the way.
They drifted past trees
On the cool evening breeze,
And cast long, dark shapes in their play.
A love potion strong and light pink
I poured full strength in his drink
The spell was now cast
Our love forever last
Which is what I wanted… I think.
Last Catch
The old fisherman went out to cast
Hoping his catch would not be his last
But he hooked his own ear
And he shed a big tear
As the trout swam away rather fast.
On the ski slopes, having a blast
I was going downhill far too fast
I crashed and burned
Painful lesson learned
Piste off with arm in plaster cast.
Poetry-Cabbage After Christmas:
To be Seen at Last
So joyful Sue was, to be picked for the cast
but her mother stared daggers, completely aghast
“you’ll NOT be half-dressed, a disgrace on the stage–
when your father finds out, you’ll catch heat of his rage!”
Sue couldn’t help smiling–Dad would see her at last.
Up to the alter at last,
No question the dye was cast.
As the ring on her finger was placed,
People sighed,Did she marry in haste ?
Could she have done better? they asked.
My destiny was laid out long ago my friends
To unravel the thread and let the fun begin
A lifetime of adventure and fun awaiting me
Coming full circle, was it fate that let me see
These stories of mine needed to be penned.
cast hope to the see
cos woe and self pity
are such pleasant miseries
***
Esther Chilton 
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