Esther Chilton

It’s a fresh week – let’s hope it’s a good one. Here’s your new limerick challenge. Your word is

DIM

Last week’s prompt was APPLE. You came up with some amusing and also poignant limericks:

Nicola Daly:

There once was a boy called stealthy Si

Used to steal everyone’s apple pie

‘I know it’s wrong,

So I’ll sing you a song.

It’s sure to leave you with a tear in your eye.’

Cathy Cade:

Inspiration Strikes

Isaac Newton sat under a tree.

Not a sensible spot, as we’ll see,

for a ripe apple fell.

Bird droppings as well

left him in the throes of gravity.

Dawgy Daddy Responds:

Bye Pie

Nothing can prepare a biophilia feeling soul to lie

About having anything to do with baked apple pie

Nowt can compare to the feelings of this simple fact

That killing those apples is a very disrespectful act

None of the nonsense is worth the tears she cries.

Frank Hubeny:

Poisoned Apple

There once was a queen who thought she

was the loveliest queen that could be

till Snow White came along.

Though that apple was wrong,

the queen’s gone, right or wrong, thankfully.

Graeme Sandford:

An apple that fell from a tree,

was bruised but not beaten you see, 

Said old Granny Smith,

“I am more than a Myth,

and less than a Madame, tee-hee!”

Squirreljan:

“Will, just shoot the apple off his head”

“No, I don’t want my son to be dead”

But my aim was true

And it split in two

In hindsight, I wish that I had fled.

Kim Smyth:

There’s things that I can’t quite grapple

Like why I only love a green apple

The others are bland

More than I can stand

I wonder if there’s a green apple Snapple!

The Limerick Guy:

They say that an apple a day

Will keep the doctor away,

But was Eve’s apple thrill

Mankind’s poison pill?

The world today sure looks that way!

Tony:

Ode to Rimbaud,

An apple bursts in the palm of the sky,

Green as a childhood blasphemy,

The wind bites her,

And my eyes flee towards the dawn

Where the world still learns to fall.

Susan Batten:

Well, I learnt Mandarin in my youth

in a tiny, red carnival booth,

but the Chinese signs blurred

so I never was heard,

preferred Apple instead – that’s the truth.

Silly Frog’s Blog:

If the Shoe Fits

Affluent women tend to like to make a fuss.

Eve had paradise yet stole Eden from all of us.

Adam in clear hindsight,

Should have refused that “apple bite”.

What a shame that Adam was such a “wus”!

Scrambled, Not Fried:

Selection Process

Is it strawberry? Cherry? A Plum?

Or lemon meringue? (No; that’s dumb!)

You’ll try and you’ll try

but you can’t make good pie

without apples and cinnamon…(YUM!)

The Afterlove Voice:

There once was an apple so bright,

That rolled off the table one night.

It bounced with a thud,

Landed straight in the mud,

Still claiming, “I’m crisp — take a bite!”

John W. Howell:

Old Roy worked in a chapel,

As a minister he wanted to dapple,

He preached hell fire

Till the folks all did tire.

Now, he can hardly grapple an apple.

Fandango:

Bounced on Fred’s Head

There once was a fellow named Fred

Who was playing with an apple so red

It fell down to the ground

And it bounced all around

Until it finally hit Fred on the head.

Murray Clarke:

King Arthur went boldly into battle

Having eaten only a Bramley apple.

He fell on his sword

Whilst crossing a ford,

And was left up a creak without a paddle!

Pensitivity101:

The apple was shiny and red

As she pushed it towards his head…

‘Do you want a bite?’

But she held it so tight

He bit off her finger instead.

Rall:

the apple was red

she ate it in bed

the seeds made her sick

she really is thick

Writer Ravenclaw:

Five a Day

When we eat an apple a day

It is to keep the doctor away

with the rest of the five

we’ll all stay alive

and spend less time in bed.

Lou by the Sea:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away

Or so it was said back in the day

I tried this old adage

Putting apple in my sandwich

I Put on 3 stone

What more can I say?

Pictures Imperfect Blog:

Springfield

There once was a teacher called Ms. Krabbabble.

Who with black thoughts and mood swings did grapple

Because the students would never thank her.

Nobody knew how badly she’d hanker

for appreciation, in short: an apple.

Teleportingweena:

When you have an apple quite dappable

You might want to make it real zappable

So get it nice and hot

In oven or in a stew pot

An enjoyment quite palatable.

–

Take a ‘napple’ cut it up

Put it in a little cup

Stick a toothpick in each piece

You don’t need a bit of grease

A fancy ‘smanchy’ way to sup.

–

Here’s to the apple all shiny and bright

Shine it up pretty see the stars in the light

A perfect specimen so red and round

A better fruit cannot be found

Take a bite then your mood takes flight.

John McGuiggan:

Adam he was flaccid

It was the way it ought to be

Until he bit into the apple

Offered up by Eve

what lovely lovely melons

And what a gorgeous bum as well

he was about to have a lot of fun

But was sure to go to hell

Priorhouse Blog:

The Bushboy effect is quite clear,

his blog brings much cheer.

Birds, flowers, and a Sunday chapel,

Seats and history of the Granny Smith apple,

Now, ramble on, switch gears, hope to see you there.

Therapy Bits:

Best Snack, Guaranteed!

There once was a person named Lee

Who munched apples fresh off the tree.

With a crunch and a grin,

Juice ran down to their chin—

“Best snack,” Lee declared, “guaranteed!”

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

There’s an apple for the teacher

An orange fruit for the preacher

What shall I give to my mum?

That will really please her tum?

Chocolate cherries strongly feature!

iMartist:

Eve

Temptation of an apple plump, juicy & red

Ohhh how I wish for a taste, Eve said

The Snake said, “be my guest”

And well, we all know the rest

Disappointed, Adam walked away looking quite flaccid.

Dogpaddling Through Life:

Of Apples and Accountability

They say Eve, from the forbidden tree,

picked an apple and sold it with glee,

yet the greatest deception

is in the perception

that Adam was conned in this spree.

Treehugger:

Scrumping to pluck off an apple

Up the trunk of the tree he did grapple,

The apples were plentiful,

He balanced an armful,

Dismayed, he was being watched from the chapel.

Poetisinta:

Pippin the Gnome

A gnome in an orchard quite gree,

Lived on apples, not bread in a dream,

He’d polish each tree,

Sip dew with a bee,

The sucked on the cores until they were clean.

–

Beneath the branches so wide,

He’d slip down the hills like a slide,

With a chuckle and crunch,

He’d stop for his lunch,

Then sleep in the shade with great pride.

The Elephant’s Trunk:

One Bad Apple

A teacher named Timothy Glass

Kept an apple to show to his class

But it sat there so long

That the smell got quite strong

Now the kids wear a heavy gas mask!

Poetry-Cabbage After Christmas:

The apple of his mother’s eyes

upon his whim the sun would rise

but as her prince there was a cost

too early found his childhood lost

chained to midnights drinking lies

Mark Fraidenburg:

There once was a wanderer, indeed

Named Johnny, who planted each seed

With an apple filled sack

He would trek down the track,

Sewing orchards for others to feed.

Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:

An apple a day as they say

Does indeed keep the doctor away

You just need good aim

But try not to maim

The doctor; you’re keeping at bay.

Annette Rochelle-Aben:

Slur Told Him

I’ll have just a teenie-weenie, one

I mean an apple tini, son

Wait, you say I’ve had too many

That’s nuts, I’ve had barely any

You’re a real meanie, to spoil my fun.

Utahan15:

adam s apple

bob in the throat

the curse of eve nae steve

in the garden

tree who knew

they did

then out on their asses!

***

Image credit: Pinterest