Esther Chilton

Happy new week! I hope your week has got off to a good start. Here’s your Monday limerick challenge. Your new word is

APPLE

Last week’s prompt was CALM. You came up with some marvellous limericks:

Nicola Daly:

The sea wasn’t terribly calm

So the captain sang us a psalm

‘And if that don’t help

Try eating kelp

Or slathering your palm with this balm.’

Cathy Cade:

Terrorist Trauma

Out to spread havoc and harm,

he raised his gun without a qualm.

Prematurely it shot

and a chandelier dropped

to bring him down and restore calm.

Annette Rochelle Aben:

Spouting Off

Calm down, you silly creature

For when your temper, you feature

And people hear your tale

They treat you like a whale

Everyone screaming, just BEACH HER!

Keith Edgar Channing:

Whenever I try to be calm

It brings on a feeling of qualm

My life isn’t easy

When I’m feeling queasy

And I can’t fix it with Tiger Balm!

Dawgy Daddy Responds:

I say hello with a limerick from peacefulthreads.com

Since I’ve just finished reading the Bible’s 23rd psalm

A bible poem of understanding that is helpful to read

A handy verse of knowledge that soon will plant a seed

My minds is flying although inside I try to remain calm.

Frank Hubeny:

Crazy Or Calm

“Are you crazy?” Not yet. I’m just calm

like a rash that is itching for balm

like a thought I won’t think

like a word with a wink

like a heart beating true in your palm.

Graeme Sandford:

There once was an ambitious clam,

Who said, ‘I can be more than I am’; 

In a moment of calm,

he voiced one small qualm,

‘Or should I stay an apprentice kissogram?’

Squirreljan:

Little Miss Panicky wanted to be calm

But nothing she tried was a good enough balm

So to help ease her woes

She bent and touched her toes

But accidentally set off the smoke alarm.

Kim Smyth:

My goodness but you’re so calm

Sitting therewith that bug on your palm

I’d be freaked out

Might even want to shout

Or say one of the many helpful Psalms.

The Limerick Guy:

When you find yourself under the gun,

It’s very stressful and never fun.

If you’re overcome with qualm

You must remain calm…

Something that’s easier said than done.

Tony:

The calm arrives without noise.
He doesn’t knock on the door, he just sits down.
He puts a light hand on the thoughts that were running too fast, and teaches them to walk.

Calm doesn’t erase anything.
He does not deny the wounds, the shortcomings, or the overly long nights.
He arranges them gently.

In the calm, the heart is no longer on the run.
He breathes at his own pace, without defending himself.
It becomes a safe space, a place where even pain can lie down and rest.

Calm, it’s a low light at the end of the day.
A faithful presence that says:
You can stop now, you’ve held on long enough.

Susan Batten:

Do come, lovely girl, take my arm,

Don’t you worry, I’ll do you no harm.

I’m a pirate all right,

who will rob you by night,

but I’ll do it with style, just keep calm.

–

What I like about him is his calm.

There is nothing to cause me alarm.

Though a vulture I be

I’ll sit here in my tree,

and enjoy this bold twitcher’s great charm.

Silly Frog’s Blog:

Down the Drain

Hank knew better than to tell Jane to “Calm down.”

But Hank had always been an incurable clown.

Kitchen sink wouldn’t drain,

Then his wife went insane!

To this day, it seems odd how Hank could have drown.

The Afterlove Voice:

There once was a soul seeking calm,

Calm, calm, calm — like a whispered psalm.

But the heat wouldn’t yield,

Every breath felt sealed,

How be calm, calm, calm, when I’m warm, warm, warm?

Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner

A young lady grew up on a farm

And round animals stayed very calm

When faced with a bear

All she did was stare

Which meant she was kept free from harm.

John W. Howell:

There once was a fellow named Tom,

Who constantly said, “You da bomb.”

One day in the airport,

He said that retort.

Now behind bars Tom’s told to be calm.

Chel Owens:

Whilst taking my very-first cruise

I noticed some pertinent truths:

I always felt floating

And knew I was boating.

‘Calm as the sea’ is a ruse.

Fandango:

Oh What a Fright

A yoga instructor named Tom

Chanted “Om” with a look of pure calm

But he let out a shriek

When a mouse, small and sleek

Ran right up the length of his arm.

Mark Fraidenburg:

Freddie sat staring at his palm

Reminding himself to stay calm

He’d cut himself good

While splitting some wood,

And thought all I’ll need is a balm.

Murray Clarke:

President Trump appeals for more calm,

But wants to hold the whole world in his palm.

Countries like Greenland, Gaza and Greece!

Then he might win the Nobel Prize of Peace.

There’s a deal on the table to make him a Khan.

Pensitivity101:

The calm of the sea is a pleasure

Something to admire and treasure,

But when it gets mad

Things can turn really bad

As the result is stormy weather!

Teleportingweena:

A funny little chicken was calm

She took a pill for a balm

She looked both ways on the road

Then waited til no cars showed

So happily she crossed with no qualm.

Sexagenarian Scribbler:

Calming music’s being played in my ear

In the dentist’s chair I’m frozen with fear

It’s not helping one bit

I’m as scared as shit

I’m a coward, get me out of here!

John McGuiggan:

There was great fear and panic

On the decks of the Titanic

As she was slowly engulfed by the sea

Keep calm! cried a steward

Don’t panic

We have music

And we’ll serve you a cup of iced tea

Priorhouse Blog:

Calm Down?

Don’t tell me to calm down,

As if that will help, you silly clown.

Let me vent and speak my peace,

For the truth us what brings calm release

Even puppies yelp it out, then plop on down.

The Bag Lady:

Sam spent an hour seeking calm

Found a quiet place as a balm

Then kids tramped in

One skinned their shin

Sam said, stop crying, call your mom.

Therapy Bits:

There once was a yogi named Palm,

Who preached inner peace, cool, and calm.

But when stuck in a jam,

He screamed, “MOVE, YOU OLD VAN!”

Now he meditates strictly on psalms.

–

after a big storm, things are mostly calm

the waves doze off, cupped soft in a palm

the breeze cracks a grin

through whispering trees

no thunder left handy to stir up a qualm.

Richmond Road:

In order to stay very calm

I recited the 23rd Psalm

Words to inspire

When the house was on fire

(I’d forgotten to set the alarm).

Christine Mallaband-Brown:

Stay calm and breathe deep

The you will get to sleep

But have a nightmare

That gives you a scare?

Stay awake so you don’t weep!

iMartist:

Always too Soon

With lube in hand he told her “Calm & Steady”

But John didn’t know he was with fast & furious Betty

He Begged her to slow down so he could enjoy it more

But Betty said “John I could just stop and walk out the door ?”

Nope too late, she done made him cum already.

Dogpaddling Through Life:

It was calm just before the affair.

Calls went out, then the birds were all there

dressed out in their finest.

Flocks dined on the harvest

as Farmer Jones screamed, “it’s not fair!”

Help From Heaven:

Always Read the Label Before Applying

Eloise felt serene and calm,

Having used a new soothing balm.

But when she started to burn,

She ran to the bathroom as she squirmed,

Trying to get that stuff off of her palm.

Poetisinta:

Serenity Sam

Sam was a very calm snail,

Who tootled through the fields without fail,

With no rush or hurry,

No chaos nor worry,

He enjoyed every step of his trail.

Blind Wilderness:

A man who was normally calm

Found that he had lost his arm

He then lost his nose

And quite a few toes

Then he looked at his feet in alarm.

The Elephant’s Trunk:

Goodness Gracious!

A frenetic young chef named Tom

Once worked in a kitchen in Guam.

Though the grease caught on fire

And the outlook was dire

He stayed quite remarkably calm.

Poetry-Cabbage After Christmas:

Oh, to be Calm

Oh how she yearned to be calm–

DNA of a soft-swaying palm…

but raised by crazed mother

everyday tight-wound bother

much solace she took in the Psalms.

Utahan15:

calm as a balm

run deep

tacit silent

nod to nothing expected

how sad

so glad

it is online then

***

Image credit: Pinterest