Happy Monday! We’re really counting down the days now. I hope it’s all coming together and you’re almost ready for the big day.
Here’s your new limerick challenge:
HOLLY
Last week’s prompt was SLEIGH. You came up with great Christmas limericks:
There once was a sleigh in the snow
That raced through the night with a glow
It jingled and spun
Over hills, having fun
And landed where children like to go!
It’s away in a sleigh we will go
though it’s warm and there isn’t much snow.
In fact, it’s quite hot
and the reindeer are not
really reindeer. Oh, well. Here we go!
I saw Red One and oh what a sleigh
Santa could get anywhere in just half a day
Turbo speed boosted
Led by glowing deer’s heads
His mighty warriors knew just who to slay!
–
And one on last week’s CANDY prompt:
Candy is dandy and my favorite is;
Chocolate, sours, and candies that fizz.
Fireballs are spicy
And suckers last long
Nevermind, I guess I just failed the quiz.
This special mode of transportation
Is a Christmas time sensation.
Jingling bells and Rudolph’s nose –
Songs every child knows –
The Sleigh’s been song writing inspiration.
Mrs Claus said to Santa one day
Won’t you give me a ride in your sleigh?
We’ll just take it slow
As we slide through the snow
On our way to a roll in the hay.
–
Said Santa back, heaven knows,
It will be tricky in these winter clothes
The issue, you see
Will be our privacy
In the glow of that reindeer’s red nose.
Brush Those Snowflakes Off
Santa was almost done packing his sleigh
When skeptic protests claimed he must deliver ‘by day’.
Said it would ‘look’ more “fair”!
Seems they were quite unaware
That Sacred Traditions ‘brush off’ dumb stuff ‘snowflakes’ say.
There was a young lassie called Flo,
wrote her letter and then watched it go
up the chimney to Santa.
Her wish he would grant her
for a sleigh. All she needs now is snow.
Sleigh rides are not for the meek,
they are best for those with physique;
at 60 M.P.H
without any braketh,
it could be the last ride you ever seek.
Joe and his mother Elaine May
Loved to celebrate holidays
It was Christmas time
The slick snow was prime
Got horses and jumped in the sleigh.
Susan Batten:
Santa’s sleigh is now sporting an “L”
for his son is the driver from hell,
He will go any speed,
makes the reindeer take heed
by untiringly ringing the bell.
–
They say Santa is bringing his sleigh
and delivering gifts on the way.
He’s got Amazon beat,
which must be quite a feat!
When he does his accounts, will it pay?
–
Santa said he would like to upgrade,
had enough of naff music from Slade,
wanted new Christmas tunes,
GPS with no runes,
and, for once in his life, to get paid.
There once was a man from Bombay
Who wanted to play Santa one day.
He packed a big bag,
but his smile it did sag.
Still no snow to help move the sleigh.
When we got into the time sleigh
It then jumped back a full day
That’s the reason
In this cold season
Santa can be everywhere, hooray!
Fair Warning
The sleigh’s his delivery device
bringing toys to the kids that are nice
but he shits in the hats
of the naughtiest brats
and leaves them this note of advice:
“Peace on Earth is not just a game.
Please remember we’re all just the same
If we can’t become friends,
then our planet Earth ends…
No more Christmas? Oh, what a shame.
So shape up, you unruly masses.
Smoke a peace pipe (or maybe clink glasses).
But whatever you do,
change your ways or you’re through…
Don’t make me sleigh back, kicking asses”
Murray Clarke:
In spite of the weather being particularly grey,
What fun it is to ride in an open sleigh!
Santa’s horses are white – a sheer delight.
Flying like a kite is frankly alright,
But NOT wearing a seatbelt is somewhat risqué!
It was time to get out the sleigh,
And Santa looked at it with dismay,
The runners were worn
The Christmas sacks torn
And the repair shop closed all day!
This holiday season I find myself once again
Wishing you happiness with pc keys, not a pen
Trying to keep busy with nothing more to do
I answer prompts and write diddy’s for you
While waiting to visit Las Vegas, the city of sin
As this challenge slowly continues to unfold
I think about Aberdeen and how it’s so cold
Winter has me thinking of oahu’s warm sand
As I pour another bag of ice melt in this pan
Sometimes I think my posts are getting old
Di made it tough today offering the word pin
But it makes for a great challenge once again
And let’s not forget Esther’s fun challenge today
Dreams of Santa Claus and his gift filled sleigh
Reminds us to leave cookies & milk out in the den
When the horse said neigh,
I got out of the way.
No need to upset the old nag,
So I waved the white flag.
No need to ruin my day.
Squirreljan:
Grumpy Rudolph had to pull the sleigh
Even though he yearned to disobey
That bossy Santa Claus
And rest his hoofs indoors
Nose flashing, he sped to Christmas Day.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
Whilst out on his sleigh christmas eve
A text Santa Claus did receive
It said hurry back
To get the sack
You left here in your hurry to leave.
The children will not see me
But they’ll know that I passed by
For I drank that glass of sherry Gave their carrots to my reindeer and scoffed that nice mince pie
They might hear my sleigh bells ringing and think it’s all a dream
But when they wake and see the toys
I leave for all the girls and boys
they’ll know that I have been
–
I drank a little sherry or two
And at the next house another one too
There was brandy at the big house
And lots of mince pies
I got a little tipsy as I rode across the skies
I got stopped
by the snow cops
It only took a minute
I’m in jail now
for driving a sleigh
well above the limit.
Rall:
santa’s sleigh
was painted bright purple
mrs claus said you look like crepe myrtle
you’ll scare the kiddies with colours so lush
i really think it’s all a bit much
prancer and dancer are already out of control
a purple sleigh will make them rock and roll
“You sleigh me,” the homonym said,
“With puns that are witty, widespread.
Your wordplay’s so fine,
It’s simply divine –
I’m killed, though no blood has been shed.”
–
A reindeer said, “Boss, I must slay!”
But Santa said, “No, you must sleigh –
There’s quite a distinction:
One leads to extinction,
The other delivers all day!”
Bored with his BMW, he gave it away,
I accepted, to mostly drive on Sunday;
And when the turbos would roar,
You could feel lift as we’d soar,
Like reindeer… lifting Santa’s sleigh.
Santa says “Hey hey hey – load up the sleigh
It’s Christmas Eve, we must be on our way”
But the elves just snickered
While the candles flickered
“You’re a week early – today’s the wrong day!”
–
Santa is old and confused
The elves are highly amused
But he said, “Okay, I’ll polish the sleigh
It’s just a short delay
I’ll have time for eggnog with booze.”
Santa’s Trip
Santa’s sleigh took a curious spin,
When his GPS led him straight to a bin
He looked at the debris,
The spied a Christmas tree
So he parked up and slugged back a bottle of gin!
Santa’s Sleigh
There once was a sleigh flown by Santa each night,
With reindeer who sparkled and soared out of sight.
It whooshed through the sky,
With a Ho! Ho! passing by,
Leaving laughter and gifts by the light of moonlight.
Santa Magic
‘Twas on a brisk winter day,
When Santa hopped onto his sleigh.
With reindeer in flight,
He dashed through the night,
Spreading joy on his magical way.
Christmas Chaos
There once was a sleigh with a tire
(A mod that no one would admire)
It ran over Fred
and left him quite dead
It’s Now time for Saint Nick to retire.
Tail Wind
Despite a rather drab existence day to day
The jolly man in red was often heard to say
He didn’t mind the smell of reindeer poop
If he could support smiles that might otherwise droop
For more than anything else, sadness, he was born to sleigh.
As I sat on my sleigh,
Eager to be on my way.
No Comet or Cupid.
I looked puzzled and stupid,
As I heard the donkey bray.
sleigh brought him to us our way
slay the hate
assauge ease
and thus improve your fate!
***
Image credit: Freepik
Esther Chilton 
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