Happy 1st December! The countdown is now officially on. But first a new limerick challenge. Your new word is
BORING
Last week’s prompt was SHOPPING. You came up with some hilarious limericks:
Nicola Daly:
I’ve still to do Christmas shopping
And all the floors need mopping
There’s the oven to clean
And the windows to sheen
But do you know? I think I’ll go out bopping!
I’ve been out all day, Christmas shopping.
The number of bags is jaw-dropping.
My outing was pleasant;
I’ve bought all the presents.
Next month’s overdraft will be whopping.
when shopping for new clothes to wear
I consider the tones in my hair
I prefer not to clash
but with limited cash
I can look like I dress for a dare!
Shopping’s the one thing she’d craved
And when she’d bring home the bargains, she’d raved.
When he’d lament
About what she’d spent…
She’d say, “Just look at the money I saved!
Shopping My Life Away
With nothing to do I went shopping.
The eyes in my head were a-popping.
I saw this. I saw that.
Everything thing I looked at
asked me why I don’t buy? Price is dropping!
When the newspapers moved out to Wapping,
I thought that my Mum would be hopping,
But instead of a rage
At losing Dad’s wage,
She just said, “Come on, let’s go shopping!”
With those dread words, ‘let’s go shopping’
My heart sank, all hope was dropping.
She said, ‘it’ll be fun,’
And, ‘you’ll be glad you’ve come’
When I knew the truth: hells a’popping!
Whenever I spend some time shopping,
There’s often a dash of flipping and flopping
I’m in a prison
Of my own indecision
And have no way of ever stopping.
There was a young lady from Wapping,
who embarked on a trip to go shopping,
a Window, Chopsticks,
Curtains, Scones, and House Bricks.
and a word-count that kept her clan popping.
While she spent her day gift shopping
Her husband spent his bar hopping
Then happy was their bank
Had their spending to thank
For overdraft fees were whopping!
Holiday Score
Hank knew Christmas shopping would be costing a lot.
Then he met a guy who increased what he got.
Cheered his holiday score,
Until cops at his door,
Confiscated those gifts because they ALL were “hot”!
Squirreljan:
There was once was a girl who loved shopping
At windows her eyes were a-popping
At a dress and a ring
But her cards wouldn’t ping
As her debts were already whopping.
From the plane as I was dropping,
A string on my finger kept popping.
I know it’s there,
So I wouldn’t dare.
But did forget the ripcord while shopping.
Keyboard Bopping
There was a lady who loved shopping,
Black Friday deals got her keyboard bopping.
she spent all her dough
her bank didn’t know
and thought that a hacker went robbing.
Shopping is such a big chore
Buying stuff seems to cost more
The eggs are a price
That has gone up twice
So I get what’s cheapest in the store!
Murray Clarke:
It’ll soon be December and time for shopping.
The wallet in my pocket has started throbbing.
I’ll admit to feeling a little listless –
As quick as a flash it’ll soon be Christmas!
And then, what can I do to stop myself laughing?
Shopping is something I hate,
Be it early, mid morning or late,
Food, clothes or shoes
Or something else I could choose
From the sales, I just have to wait.
Oopsie Droopsie
As her aging breasts were flopping
For a new bra, she went shopping
The sagging was no small worry
Since, if she didn’t hurry
To the ground her girls would be dropping.
A Black Friday Limerick
Planned on shopping for holiday toys
for good little cat girls and boys
then someone pointed out
that our pets will not pout
about gifts, that’s just marketing noise.
Whilst shopping one day at the mall
Denise got a worrying call
“I have to be frank,”
said the man from the bank,
“you no longer have money at all.”
After feasting all day, let’s go shopping
Black Friday prices are surely dropping.
Get in line and wait all night
Open up your wallet, don’t be tight
So get off your butt, and let’s get hopping.
Christmas Shopping
A gnome was out Christmas shopping,
Looking for presents for Santa’s secret stocking,
He bought toys for the elves,
For the wizard some spells,
Making sure there was no one eavesdropping!
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A young woman who wouldn’t stop shopping
For things that would always need chopping
Said it’s about time I stopped
And bought things pre-chopped
Who am I kidding; I really love chopping.
Ah! The joy of Christmas shopping
Fortnum and Mason
Selfridges
John Lewis
Harrods
And Liberty
with all the Christmas lights to see
If only I had the money
But for me
It’s Aldi and the pound shop
And home on the bus for tea.
There was a rich lady called Tee
who went on a mall shopping spree
Some would say her deep urge
for a pre-Christmas splurge,
But the term is… ‘retail therapy’.
Rall:
window shopping
is my delight
got no money
cos I’m not very bright
got to learn to rip off folk
become a consumer
get out of this boat
Disappointed but Bopping
There once was a penguin shopping,
For fish that were flopping and hopping.
But the clerk cried, “No way!
Those danced off yesterday!”
So he waddled out, disappointed but bopping.
Susan Batten:
The place that she chose for her shopping
involved a short trip down to Wapping.
She bought East End chic
but then felt like a freak
when uptown in the clubs she went bopping.
I went shopping in Galaxy Mall –
and for safety I went with a pal –
but those sequins and boots
and those fancy zoot suits
would look better on some other gal.
One time I was bopping along shopping
Singing a song and fingers popping
But, oops there I went
Right down on the cement
Something slippery on the floor had me dropping.
There once was a man with an odd gait
Who thought shopping should be great
The people were rude
And sometimes quite crude
And on his last nerve they did grate.
My back is aching,my arms are dropping,
As I struggled along with my Christmas shopping.
The money tree is bare,
I don’t think you have a care.
It must feel like its had a good chopping.
Mega-sales
Mrs. Johnson was shopping the mall
For gifts for her friends, one and all
The sales made her grin
And she loaded her bin
With the same things she purchased last fall!
***
Image credit: Pinterest
Esther Chilton 
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