It’s almost Halloween! Before you don your witches’ hats and grab those broomsticks, here’s a new story challenge for you.
Can you tell a story in 46 words using the following words in it somewhere:
- PORTAL
- DROOL
- SLIPPERS
- MARKSMAN
My apologies if I don’t respond to you for a day or two – I’m going into hospital later today for a minor procedure and I’m not sure how I’ll feel afterwards. I’ll catch up when I can 😊
Last week’s challenge was to write a story in 54 words using the following five words in it somewhere:
- GERBIL
- WONDERLAND
- ZIP
- AFTERSHAVE
- BANSHEE
Here are your super stories:
Nicola Daly:
Gerome Gerbil tipped the bottle over himself, leaped from the top of the Wonky Winterland Tower, and zipped all the way to the bottom screaming like a banshee.
‘And all because the she-gerbil loves Milk Tray,’ he crooned.
‘You’ve gone a bit overboard on the aftershave,’ sniffed Mrs Gerome. ‘I’ll take the chocolates, though.’
The Forest Musk
The aftershave filled the air with scents of musk. As a banshee wailed in the darkness, a wonderland of magic seemed to zip by Ilene who was enjoying the winter scene. As she was leaving the forest she noticed a man petting a gerbil by the exit and remembered the scent of strong musk.
Rall:
these strange counter cultural folk
wailed at the moon like banshees
at their ceremonies
sprayed each other with something
which smelled like opium aftershave
kept gerbils zipped in their jeans
called their commune Wonderland
they invited her to join.
armed with pre prepared excuses
just in case
she feigned disappointment
declined the offer
then scarpered
The Final Straw
Mikey’s received a gerbil. Jaycee loved to zip around his wheel in his personal wonderland. One day, he escaped, knocked over Father’s aftershave, and soared downstairs. When Mother howled like a banshee, Mikey at least knew where he was. It was the final straw for Mother. Jaycee was the last pet in their home.
“A beautiful sight, oh, we’re happy tonight Walking in a winter wonderland.”
The gerbil loved Christmas Day. While his owner always received aftershave, he bought him sets of clothes and made videos to share online. Today was a biker look.
A pulled zip and gerbil wailed like a banshee. He’d forgotten about the fur.
“Banshees of Ireland arise!”
We looked on in amusement.
“This is no Wonderland!” opined Ralf. “Zip Code 92802 it is not.”
Clíodhna turned her attention towards Ralf and his cronies. “Into gerbils thou become.” she intoned. And so they became.
“Phew! You stink, mate!” said Piers to Ralf. “I certainly don’t like your aftershave.”
Ho Ho No
Zip lining gerbil in Wonderland, the great new boardgame was the hottest item on holiday gift giving lists last year, this year, not so much. Once parents realized the banshee cries of excitement from the kids were shattering aftershave bottles, the stink they raised, caused the company to pull the games from store shelves.
Kate in Cornwall:
Angry crowds at Rodent Wonderland protested against the use of a gerbil to advertise Dior’s latest aftershave. Mavis X, infamous animal rights activist and banshee, screamed, “he’ll die if he falls!” as the gerbil was zip-wired into a bedroom with a bottle of Eau de Jerboa in his rucksack. The scene was subsequently cut.
The Gerbil King
The gerbil escaped its cage, zipping across the floor like a tiny banshee in a Wonderland of dust bunnies and forgotten socks.
Jerry, half-asleep, followed the squeaks, his aftershave still sharp in the air.
By dawn, he found the creature perched triumphantly on the toothpaste tube, king of the bathroom realm.
When Marvin’s gerbil escaped, it dove into the sudsy bathroom sink like it was a wonderland. Marvin lunged to grab it, slipped, and hit the cabinet with a zip of pain. His aftershave lotion spilled everywhere.
When his wife burst in, she shrieked like a banshee at the sight of the minty, soaked rodent.
Peter screamed like a banshee at the sight of gerbil footprints all over his Perfect Wonderland project.
He’d hated that little rodent ever since it knocked over a sample bottle of aftershave he’d picked up from the drug store.
He felt like tying it to zip line and letting it fly out the window.
Murray Clarke:
For the life of him, Alexis could not understand where the hideous noise was coming from! It sounded like a wailing banshee. He was at the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park, famed for its daring zip wire. A generous splash of aftershave would do the trick, and low and behold, out popped Jeremy Gerbil!
An American Werewolf in Ireland
I won the “Hike with your gerbil in Ireland” radio contest. I took my gerbil named Zip. For the ladies, I threw on sexy Wonderland aftershave and began this trek. One woman began to wail like a banshee. But the moon was full tonight, and she picked the wrong guy to become a victim.
Revenge Stinks!
She zipped up the white night gown and put her pet gerbil in the handbag. This halloween she was a banshee and tomorrow she would enjoy her wonderland of sweets. For the greedy neighbours, who denied her treats, she had balloons filled with grandfather’s aftershave. Ha! They would reek of Irisch Moos for weeks!
Pete:
While foraging around he saw zip, zilch, nada. This gerbil in wonderland found nothing but scarcity. Living his life with a fork in a world of soup, His one find; a bottled aftershave labeled “Banshee”. Though intrigued, the furry little critter needed no pheromone smothering tincture. It would only prolong his amorous dry spell.
‘Banshee’ aftershave was being advertised on the TV again. She remembered buying it for her ex husband, but when he tried it, it smelled like a pickled Gerbil! It didn’t take her to wonderland. No she would keep her purse zipped this time. Her new partner was sadly more of an ‘Old spice’ guy!
Tom’s aftershave turned her reverie back to reality. Here she was standing beside her first love on a date 30 years later when he left her at the train station crying like a banshee as the train zipped away. She wanted to burrow in the ground like a gerbil. Life hadn’t been a Wonderland.
Late Night Screeches
Safely tucked in my dark wonderland of late-night Halloween horror film streaming, there came a terrifying banshee-like screech from downstairs! I found Grandma passed out on the floor as Zip (my gerbil) danced on the counter like a drunken sailor. When I caged him, I smelled my aftershave on his breath. What a lush!
Banshee
While foraging around he saw zip, zilch, nada. This gerbil in wonderland found nothing but scarcity. Living his life with a fork in a world of soup, His one find; a bottled aftershave labeled “Banshee”. Though intrigued, the furry little critter needed no pheromone smothering tincture. It would only prolong his amorous dry spell.
Meals an’ Squeals
Alice slapped aftershave on her face and immediately howled like a banshee. She’d forgotten about the scratch mark the gerbil had left on her cheek. She grabbed the rodent, put it in a harness which she clicked in the zipline. Alice crooned: “Off you fly to Wonderland to meet the wonderful Cat of Chesh.”
He slapped on the aftershave and screamed like a banshee at the sting. A quick ride on the zip line to Gerbal Wonderland where the air is quiet and there is plenty to eat.
Gerry in Haunted Wonderland
Gerry the gerbil zipped into haunted Wonderland
Ghost-cats crooned, skeletons walked hand in hand
Under a jam-tart tree, he found a stony grave,
A phantom sniffed, ‘What’s that aftershave I crave?’
‘Brut,’ he gasped, then a banshee shrieked, ‘Join us or die!’
So, he ran away, and the banshee let out a mournful sigh.
Off to Wonderland
I screamed like a eccentric banshee when I figured out the soduko. This new clue now pointed me farther than I expected.
Winter wonderland was calling my name. I unzipped my backpack and my gerbil poked his head out. “Sorry buddy, you can’t come this time”.. and neither do I need to bring aftershave.
Alison’s own personal wonderland was to speed down the zip wire over the river Aginé. Odd, she thought, as she spotted a gerbil heading over the other side, screaming like a banshee. “Phantom, phantom,” it yelled.
Hang on, thought Alison, what would a gerbil on a zip wire want with an expensive Rabanne aftershave?
In a neon Wonderland, a gerbil named Zip raced through perfume clouds, chasing the echo of a banshee’s wail. He wore confidence like aftershave, slick and wild, sprinting past clocks that melted with laughter. When dawn cracked the sky, Zip vanished—leaving only whisker marks and the faint scent of impossible adventure behind.
Slapping on the aftershave
Whilst zipping up my pants
Susie and The Banshees
Are playing at a dance
Gerbil in my pocket
In case I get the chance
In this nostalgic wonderland
With dreams of old romance.
Squirreljan:
Paddy sneaked in to Zip Wire Wonderland to record his podcast. “On this spooky moonlit night, I am here to investigate the rumours of a banshee. Nooo!” A mind blowing shriek caused him to fall, petrifying the resident gerbil clan. As Paddy breathed his last, he realised he’d forgotten to wear his lucky aftershave.
Gypsie’s Wonderful World of Words:
The Banshee
The banshee she hunted
each Halloween night
Released from the veil
into a wonderland of prey
She camouflaged her stink
with human aftershave
To find her a gerbil
to free her from a witch’s spell
Yet years had passed to her dismay
gerbil’s ran faster than lightning
and away they went
– zip zip zip!
Call of the Wild
Playboy Zip Johnson found himself lost in a magical wonderland of beautiful faeries. He sprayed himself with aftershave hoping to attract them. Instead, a banshee appeared, mistaking the aftershave for a mating scent. Zip ran, the banshee chasing after him with lovestruck fervor. Eventually, Zip outsmarted the banshee by hiding in a gerbil hole.
To Jimmy, zoos were a wonderland. He hid his gerbil, Poo in his zip pocket. Jimmy’s dad’s aftershave hid any odor Poo might emit. Jimmy patted the pocket reassuring Poo he was okay. The trouble started when Poo squeezed out and ran up Jimmy’s arm. It startled another child who screamed like a banshee!
Smallfry’s shortcut through Wonderland Meadow was a dangerous one. It was the turf of Banshee, the bully gerbil.
Marlee Mouse’s tip for the tiny rodent was a winner. “Stay downwind from the bully. The smell of his putrid aftershave will let you know where he is.”
Smallfry could now zip across the meadow undetected.
***
Esther Chilton 
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