Happy new week. I hope yours goes well. Here’s your Monday limerick challenge. Your word is
BREAD
Last week’s prompt was FOLLOW. You came up with some fun limericks:
Nicola Daly:
There once was a hunk called Apollo
To the ends of the earth I promised to follow!
Turns out he was a cad
A real ‘Jack-the-Lad’
Now I’m going to eat chocolate and wallow.
Uncle Ned could mimic a Swallow
For all of those who cared to follow
Aside from all that
He was rather a prat
Who liked to moan and grumble and wallow.
Squirreljan:
My stomach feels so very hollow
I need to eat, to feed, to swallow
Chocolate and cake
A whole traybake
Please don’t flinch at what may follow.
There once was a man I could follow
Taught me everything I needed, but was hollow
I filled him with love
From heaven above
Now he’s got way more than he can swallow!
Joe walked alone with no follow
Searched secret stash in tree hollow
Found his liquor gone
Then sang a sad song
While friends enjoyed every swallow.
When I followed you said follow through,
but I followed. What more should I do?
“Well, I gave you a map.”
Like a rat in a trap,
yes, I followed, but why didn’t you?
There once was a pig in the hollow,
Who hated the custom of wallow.
It is for your kind,
I have to remind.
Your customs you need to follow.
There’s never been such a scatty newcomer,
but the band really needed a drummer!
The drum score – he could follow,
but they told him that a swallow
in truth… does not make a summer.
Murray Clarke:
There once was an Italian assassin named Lago,
Who followed a signora home with his longbow.
She stopped for a bite
In the middle of the night,
And finished the meal with an escargot!
Follow is as follow does,
Compliance gives a kind of buzz,
Watch the one in front and do
Hokey Cokey moves one and two,
Having fun now, just ‘because’.
A wonderful bird is the Swallow
Travel distances impossible to follow,
They sleep on the wing
In autumn and spring
And make human flights look hollow.
–
Follow that car! I said in haste
Like James Bond, the car we chased
My taxi was fast
But was outclassed
And the fare I paid? What a waste!
Rall:
oh no
i’m not going to follow
that ex friend of mine call zorro
said he loved me so madly
but let me down so badly
been the cause of my sadness and sorrow
Food as Art
Follow the trail from room to room
Mop in one hand, in the other a broom
Smeared peanut butter and jelly
Covers furniture, even the telly
Bread crumbs require the vacuum’s vroom.
All Her Ducks in a Row
There once were five ducks in a row
Who’d follow her wherever she’d go
Through puddles and rain
Down each muddy lane
Went her loyal companions in tow.
Silly Puppy!
The silly dog thought he’d be sly
and follow me ’round like a spy
but my cat sniffed him out
gave a boop to his snout
and the poor puppy started to cry.
There once was a man born to follow,
so he followed a pig to a wallow;
he dived in the mud,
landed on his head, “Thud!”
and now his mouth won’t open to swallow.
Billy Tit, pimply and sallow
Lived a life unconsciously shallow.
His focus on the next follow
Made each victory objectively hollow
But in such glory would Billy happily wallow.
I met a young lady in Soho
Who said, “follow me into this show”.
Being young and naïve
I just couldn’t believe
That bishops star in shows in Soho …!
I’ve been told to follow my own dreams,
But that may not be as wise as it seems.
Nightmares often come and go.
But for me, that’s never so.
My life might fare best with fewer screams!
Space X is trying to follow
A path to the moon like Apollo
But it’s stuck in mid flight
Out of gas in the night
And that’s a hard pill to swallow!
Skeleton on a Stroll
There once was a skeleton so mellow,
Who wore a hat of florescent yellow,
He whispered, ‘Come follow
Me down to the hollow,’
Then strolled off – the bony old fellow.
If you smile at my poem, it’s hollow
Unless you then choose to click ‘follow’.
‘Cos it’s part of my plan
To have more than one fan,
So I’ll be rich and famous tomorrow.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A young man who did follow the news
Realised that it clouded his views
It made his heart ache
Even though it was fake
Which was stated with unsubtle clues.
You Can’t See
There is an X rated version of this poem
That remains in the altered mind’s zone
I don’t want you to think I am shallow
So it won’t be on this site that you follow
Therefore the results will never be known.
–
Cobwebs
A wolf spider climbed my leg while I slept
Dreams of black widows in my mind crept
I follow the silk web into my darkened mind
At the end of the thread there’s nothing to find
Reveling my altered mind being totally swept.
Nate’s Not Lucky
Nate met Nora with the hopes that oral would follow
Nora tried to find what she was meant to swallow
Nora gave a hearty laugh
Nate was embarrassed by his microscopic staff
So he got dressed, left the room and in sadness, he did wallow.
I hired a private detective
To track and follow my spouse
He caught her in flagrante
inside another man’s house
Oh! thr hurt and the trauma
Oh! the trouble and strife
It was made much worse to discover
that the detective ran off with my wife.
The Nose Knows
There was a detective named Drew
Who kept a record of every clue.
He’d follow the scent
With great intent
And his nose continually grew!
There once was a goose you could follow,
Who strutted quite proud and quite hollow,
He’d honk and he’d preen,
Like a social machine,
With more fans than brains—what a swallow!
I was never one to follow the rules
Always playing the class clown at school
Failed all my exams
Now look where I am
Paying the price for acting so cool.
To fly like a bird, a swallow,
Or maybe a hippo, I’d wallow.
I’d swoop all I could,
Or paddle in the mud,
Whatever they did, I’d follow.
Follow me said the sign on the truck
So down the road we went – good luck
But as we drew near
We began to feel fear
‘Cause driving the truck was a duck.
–
And one for last’s week’s prompt – CRAZY
There was a lady named Masie
Some said that she was lazy
But when she dressed up
Like a tea cup
Everyone called her crazy.
***
Esther Chilton 
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