If you’d like to be included in this slot, please get in touch: estherchilton@gmail.com. Poems can be up to 60 lines and prose 2000 words. If you’d like to add a short bio and photo, then great. All I ask is that there’s nothing offensive.
This week, I have a returning guest – Murray Clarke. He’s written a thoroughly entertaining tale to delight you all.
Big Hearts, Little Minds
By
Murray Clarke
This short story is dedicated to teachers everywhere – especially to those of you who teach in a Nursery School.
“GOOD MORNING, LITTLE ACORNS! I’m sorry that Hazel, your regular teacher, can’t be with you today. Unfortunately, she’s off sick. Yes, I can see you’re disappointed. A nervous break . . . err, bad headache. So, I’m afraid, you’ve got ME! No, please don’t boo! I’m Marty – short for Martha. NO, Simon, MARTY with an M – not an . . .! We don’t use that word, now do we?
“Glad to see you’re all wearing your new name badges. Very smart! Now, have you all got your bottles? Make sure you drink plenty of water, please.
“The boy at the back waving both his hands in the air? Hugo? You want to go to the toilet? For a wee? Oh, you want a poo? Well, off you go – remember to wash your hands after you’ve wiped your . . .You want a wee, Esther? Be quick, then!
“So, today, we’re going to draw and colour a dinosaur. How exciting is that, eh? NO Becky, I may look ancient, but I’m certainly NOT a dinosaur! You’ll find a large sheet of paper and crayons on the desk in front of you . . . Byron – give Mahendra back his crayons. NOW! Thank you.
“Donna – STOP staring out of the window and get on with your drawing. No, I’m NOT shouting at you – SORRY! Don’t start crying, pleeease! . . . Aaron – what are you fiddling with under your desk? Well, I’d rather you didn’t – it’s not nice in front of the other children!
“I’m coming around now to see how you’re all getting on . . . Ah! Hugo and Esther – you’re back. Return to your seats, please – and pull your pants up properly, Hugo!
“Wow! That’s a lovely picture, Pablo. Well done! But next time, try to colour WITHIN the lines – NOT all over the desk! . . . And why are you wandering around the classroom, Amelia? You’re bored? SIT DOWN!
“Lin! I’m sure that Jason doesn’t want a big red love heart on his face! Yes, I know you like him. A lot. Well, okay, LOVE him. Let’s hope it washes off . . . What do you want, Hugo? Not again, surely? But you’ve only just been! A wee this time? Anyone else? Rosie? Oh, go on, then!
“Now, attention everybody! Does anyone know what day it is today? No, not Sunday, Roland. The girl at the front? Sam? Oh! You’re a BOY – SORRY!
It was the long hair! Stop giggling class! I am not SHOUTING, Donna! No, Sam, today is NOT my 100th Birthday!! Anyone know the answer? Well, I’ll tell you – it’s School Photo Day! How exciting is that!
“After lunch, we’re walking in a crocodile to the Assembly Hall. A nice young lady is going to take your photographs. Don’t pull that face, Darcie! What? You don’t want a picture taken? You’ve got a spot on the end of your nose? Okay! OKAY! NO PHOTO! I get it!
“Now, children, how are we doing? Oh, that’s a bit different, Salvador! A dinosaur with six legs, two heads and eight eyes! Very, err, artistic! And take a look at Dinesh’s drawing! It’s supposed to look like me, is it? That’s very unkind! . . . Hillary – GET DOWN! We DON’T stand on our desks, do we?
“Aahh, there goes the school bell! Thank God – SORRY! End of the lesson. Stop cheering, children – I can’t hear myself think! Yes, I DO have a brain, Albert!
“Right then, off you go! Playtime, my little darlings – now where did I put my headache tablets . . .”
***
Esther Chilton 
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