Happy Monday! Here’s a new limerick challenge for you – your word is:
WEIGH
Last week’s prompt was SPELL. You came up with some very clever limericks:
There once was a boy named Jerard
Who tended to play too hard
And when he fell
He’d sit for a spell
Then start again, what a card!
*
Tim was a mighty mage
With advise wise and sage
His real strength, they say
Were the spells that he’d lay
The most powerful of his age.
*
I know I am pretty lame
I can barely spell my own name
My pen does rust
Pencil covered in dust
It’s lack of ejukayshun that I blame.
Warts and All
She was considered oh, so swell
For she would kiss and never tell
Though she might not have been a snitch
She was a rather crafty witch
Keeping all men under her spell.
The witch of the wood cast a spell
But no one could easily tell
For she’d been mistaken
Used the wrong incantation
And turned her broom into a well!
Black Cat Strut
A black cat slowly struts by
Bringing a tear of joy to my eye
As the dawn brings morning on
I remember a honky cat song
My foot begins steady fast tapping
Soon my hands are loudly clapping
I listen along with the cool sound
Of a spell this cat is putting down
Pull catnip out as “I’m a gracious host”
Spreading it around on this silly post
I then place some Sheba in a small pile
Because in the end I am a Ailurophile
There once was a man in a well,
Who thought he was headed for hell.
He prayed and he tried,
He screamed and he cried.
To no avail since a spell is a spell.
There’s something about a good L.O.L.
I think it has a magical spell.
If you are feeing uptight,
A good laugh makes things all right…
And you’ll get back to feeling swell!
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A spell a young witch tried to cast
Would go wrong if she tried it too fast
So she went very slow
And said hey presto
I’ve got the spell working at last.
With the spell came a chill from the well
like a frost from the fires of hell.
So, we capped it that day,
made the devils obey
and they did with no rights to rebel.
Kate in Cornwall:
Living with Pete was pure hell
So Sophie moved out for a spell.
She said, “I do love you Pete,
It’s not you, it’s your feet,
I’ll come back when they no longer smell!”
There once was a town with an awful smell
They called on the witches to cast a spell
So they stirred a pot
And they prayed a lot
That the smell would be sent down to Hell!
Nicola Daly:
There was a confused witch from Carlisle
Concocted a stench unimaginably vile.
‘I’m all of a muddle
And in order to de-fuddle
I should put my spells in an alphabetical file.’
The teacher stood angry, said “well?
Don’t you have anything to tell?”
Susan’s eyes looked down
Her red face a frown
“Sorry I don’t know how to spell”.
A spelling bee student was ready to spell,
Spelling each word she knew very well.
But “knight” made her frown,
Its silent “k” cost her the crown
“English is just too damn tricky!” she’d yell.
Ego Friend
I left the party nauseous, yet again
Her cocky spirit has no end
Bragging about her family being so swell
Sports, math, and now how good they could spell
This boasting makes it hard to be her friend
The witches were giving him hell
After botching his favourite spell,
He turned things on its head
Then he filled them with dread
As he silenced them all with one yell.
*
They could cackle and gaggle no more
Staring helplessly at the floor
While he ate his meat pie
Looked them straight in the eye
Then quietly closed the door.
*
Lucky for them, the spell soon wore off
And they gathered together to scoff,
Making one of their own
For the Wizard at home
And a curse of a horrible cough.
The Misspelling Bea
The Spelling Bee had its final couple,
But the young boy’s mind was all in a muddle.
His teacher was shocked
When his nervous brain blocked
And he tried to spell ‘trouble’ as ‘trubbel.’
Love Stinks!
The frog said, “Please, mademoiselle,
kiss me, for I’m under a spell.”
As the maid pursed her lip,
the frog let one rip
then laughed as she gagged from the smell.
She wanted to rest for a spell
her knees were not doing so well
so she sat on a bench
but her back gave a wrench
and she hasn’t moved yet, I can tell.
Belle Sounds
There once was a witch named Belle
Whose spells never turned out very well.
She’d chant and she’s shout,
But nothing came out –
Just smoke and a terrible smell!
There once was a man who could spell,
a wizard who taught children to smell.
“I before E,
and fiddle D D.”
he was a silly old warlock as well you might tell.
*
Stuck inside, two-way stretch, for a spell,
a convict who had stolen a hotel,
he had a Monopoly game,
which wasn’t the same,
and he hated when he landed in Jail.
*
To spell Conscience you have to be smart,
have cleverness writ on your heart;
it starts with a con,
science soon follows on,
and your spelling bee flies off the chart.
*
‘Spell Rhododendron’ it said on the page,
I stared at the question for quite a long age,
I did try my best,
but failed at the test,
I missed out the ‘h’ – I’m no sage.
There was a young witch they called Luna
who once cast a spell on a tuna
“When she opened her book,
she barely looked!”
So they knew she really was a Kahuna.
Under His Spell
There once was a smiling young lad,
Whose charm made his victims feel glad.
But when night settled in,
His true games would begin,
And once in his spell, you’d go mad.
There once was a girl so swell
Who wore in her hair lots of gel
She couldn’t comb through it
not even a bit
But she absolutely could spell!
For a Dyslexic in Poland
It is the right place to be
For they abuse the alphabet
from a to zee
Unpronounceable place names
Impossible to spell
Gdansk to Szczecin
The spellings are piekto
And piekto means hell
Rall:
there was a man from glenelg
renowned for casting love spells
the ladies all swooned
flying high to the moon
while he removed gold jewellery
from their shelves
Seraphina and Mick
Two Goldens, by a strange hippie spell,
Bid their old doggy habits farewell.
With flowers in hair
And peace in the air,
What groovy love-in tales they will tell!
***
Esther Chilton 
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