Here’s a new limerick challenge for you this fine Monday – your word is:
SPELL
Last week’s prompt was SING. You came up with some great limericks:
There once was a bird on the wing,
Who loved every morning to sing.
With a voice bright and clear,
It brought all who could hear,
A joy that made hearts take to spring.
We’ve just been to sing in Congleton
Our group of ladies had great fun
Singing in Croatian
And Zulu with ululation
As a plus we had shade from the sun…
(please pronounce the town congle ‘tun’ to help the rhyme!)
There once was a man with a ring,
And no place to deposit the thing.
He tried real hard,
Even hired a bard.
Sadly the bard couldn’t sing.
There was a girl who would sing
But quiet was she, texting
Here own horn, not toot
She thought she was cute
So around home she would sing.
Squirreljan:
Oh, how she loves to sing in tune, but loud
It makes her feel really adored and proud
When she hears doors shut
And her neighbours tut
She bows to her imaginary crowd.
Singing is a wonderful thing,
With the joy that singing can bring.
And I’d be doing it,
But I have to admit…
I have a standing order – “DON’T SING!”
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A young lady who thought she could sing
And was brilliant at everything
Found out rather late
She wasn’t that great
Though onto that thought she did cling.
The odd knowledge I once thought I had
is on sale and for cheap I might add.
I will sing a new song
and you may sing along.
That dumb knowledge is gone and I’m glad.
Kate in Cornwall:
Joe King put his name down to sing
A classic by his hero, named Sting
But his nerves made him croaky
At the pub karaoke
And the crowd cruelly cried “are you joking?”
Julietta thought she could sing
Her voice really made their ears ring
An audition for opera
Made them try to stop her
Said “Sorry, it’s just not your thing!”
Limerick One — the crude one:
I always wanted to sing like a bird
But my singing voice stinks like a turd
People begged me to stop
My singing was clearly a flop
My voice was the worst voice they heard.
Limerick Two — the mild one:
It was karaoke night at the bar
And I wanted to sing like a star
But when I picked up the mic
They yelled “Go take a hike!”
My career singing rock didn’t go very far.
There I sat, waiting in the yard
Feeling heaviness on a path so hard
Waiting for the birds to please sing
I overlooked what they did bring
Unburdened as their chirps filled my heart.
It really wasn’t his thing
To stand up and start to sing,
But he hit a high ‘C’
When stung by a bee
And the crowd all started cheering!
There’s a story of Stiletto Sid
And the awful things that he did
If he thought you might sing
His blade would surely sting
And open you up, toe to lid.
A baritone had a wild fling
With an alto who really could swing
He thought them discreet
But his wife caught the cheat
Now falsetto is all he can sing.
Things, One MUST Do
My wife often likes to sing
To her, it’s her favorite thing
Dear Lord, Her melody is off
And I just want to scoff
Instead I say “Sounds Great” cause a swift kick to my balls is worth avoiding.
I know a young lady named Ling
Who likes to dance and sing.
When she dances nude
Some find it crude –
But I like to sing with Ling!
Love to sing though my voice isn’t great
Neither tone deaf nor something to hate
I can still hold a tune
As I lilt and I croon
But to be a star isn’t my fate.
Gold Diamond Ring
He bought his girl a ring
A bright and shiny bling
But she found out it was glass
And called him an ass
Thus she began to sing
You made me think you’re a king
Took me under your wing
But you’re just a fake
Nutty as a fruitcake
Now I sing, zing, and fling your bling
The Operatic Goat
There once was a goat in a top hat,
Who sang to a duck – fancy that,
His arias were grand,
Echoed throughout the land,
‘Though the duck didn’t let on he was flat!
This Limerick you now have to sing,
“You make me feel groovy… Wild Thing!”
“Temperature’s rising!”
“Get your motor running!”
“Something for the girl with everything.” *
*name the 4 groups!
There once was a lady from Crete,
whose voice was melodic and sweet.
When to sing she would start
all the people screamed “Art!”
And they wished she’d be stuck on repeat.
I always wanted to sing
Like a bird that flies on the wing
I tried to jump high
Up into the sky
When my knicker elastic went ping.
Polly had no voice to sing
Tone-deaf, too loud… made all ears ring
Choir chimed, “oh no, not her!”
Director asked who they’d prefer
“Is Crosby still around, ol’ Bing?”
Head over to Dawgy Daddy Responds for a variation on the limerick challenge: Hear Ye Hear Ye – Dawgy Daddy responds
Now here’s a very funny thing,
I really thought I could sing.
Each and every day in my parlour,
I practised a Gilbert and Sullivan aria,
‘Till my music teacher’s ears did ring.
Rall:
there was a young lady from nantes
who was tres chic and tres elegante
her voice was so shrill
it could drive you to pills
her rendition of la plume de ma tante.
A brave little frog tried to sing,
With a voice like a rusty old spring.
He’d croak out a note,
From his wobbly throat,
And all the little buggies took wing!
My bell makes a dong, not a ding
It’s neither a song, nor a ring
For the bell, don’t you see
Sounds like hell (out of key)
But it’s better than hearing me sing.
***
Esther Chilton 
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