Here in the UK, it’s a bank holiday – and we’re having a mini-heatwave. I hope you’re able to keep cool. Here’s a new limerick challenge for you – your word is:
SING
Last week’s prompt was JUST. You came up with some great limericks:
Nicola Daly:
Giving into his voracious blood lust
Vlad the Vampire took a bite from her bust
She said,’ Enjoy your last meal
I’m actually not real
I’m just a robot that’s full of old rust.’
Just look at the size of that bun!
Exclaimed Janet on the run
She laughed heartily
For all to see
Then bought it for her friend Sun!
I am a pathological dreamer
With more ideas than there are stars in the sky.
And there’s a chance I might make my dreams come true
If I just get off my ass and try!
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A young king who was thought of as just
Had a brother who held much distrust
For the way the king ruled
Had everyone fooled
As he preyed on his citizens trust.
Teased
Oh, wouldn’t she just
Be caught with hair, mussed
Set the tongues to wag
Tales in every rag
Snobby upper crust.
Well, I just want to say I don’t trust
all the news that I hear, but I must
let the dust settle, too.
It’s the least I can do –
and the most – since I can’t control dust.
Kate in Cornwall:
When Jen told him it just wasn’t just
That Justin just couldn’t be fussed
To reign in his lust
Thereby earning her trust
Well, you couldn’t see Justin for dust.
It just is not just
That my sister has such an enormous bust
While mine are flat
No valleys peaks or undulations
And I must stuff my bra with augmentations
My lack of bust is just not just
This week it’s so difficult, what can I rhyme
And crowbar into the following line?
A word so like ‘just,’
Is an absolute ‘must,’
Hey! I’ve done it – this is just fine!
Wig Woes?
Told the barber a trim, but just
A cut here and there if you must
Don’t want to look bald
That is why I called
I’m giving you all of my trust.
‘Just say no’ by mum I was taught
Not quite as easy as I thought
Faced with temptation
My inclination
Is to‘ just do it’ and not get caught!
Do As I Say Not As I Do
A preacher declared with great trust
That virtue is noble and just
But when a maiden walked by
He got a gleam in his eye
And could focus just on her bust.
Just Deserts
Hello, I said to the man,
“Just deserts, from the karma pan…”
“Those will be served tonight,” he chimed
“Served cold- and right on time.
So sit back and let comeuppance play its hand.”
I just love writing poems for fun
Some flow easy, and words simply come
Other times things feel stuck
High and dry, out of luck
But today’s limerick’s quickly done!
She needed some time to adjust
And get used to having a bust,
She thought he’d be pleased
But instead he just teased,
So their marriage soon hit the dust.
Roy was called “The Hanging Judge”
No story caused his heart to budge
He really didn’t care
If his verdict were just or fair
He thought all before him must be sludge.
**
There once was a man named Bobby McMann
Who for president he once ran
Asked to justify the cost
Knowing ahead that he lost
He shrugged and said, “Just because I can.”
There once was a cat full of trust,
Who leapt with a pounce that was just.
She soared through the air,
With elegance rare,
And landed without any fuss.
A very rich businessman just
hired a fella he thought he could trust
to clean his Bugatti
and now it seems all he
has left is a bucket of rust.
I think that its so very unjust
That I’ve just been hit by a bust.
It belongs to Miss Hocking
Who was removing my stocking
When we got hit by Churchill’s bust!
Just wait a darn minute he fussed
This statue is covered with dust
I wipe with a rag
Now I wave the white flag
My cleaning is just a bust.
Foodie Dan
Dan just lived for foodie culture
his breath though smelt like sulphur
he thought it no sin
to cram it all in
he’d just laugh and say ‘mia gulpa!’
Just wait while I think of some rhymes,
Just enough to avoid poetic crimes;
just a few should do,
just if it’s okay with you,
just so that I’m keeping up with the times.
**
Justin was caught out in the rain,
Justice was done in his brain;
he’d been dry for ten years,
no wine, and no beers,
not even a sip of Champagne.
Three cool cats, so clever and sly,
Played poker wearing jacket and tie.
They’d just deal with a purr
And not making a stir,
Clean house with a glint in their eye.
Kate lived ever & always in “Must”
No wonder her mind filled with dust
Relaxed life-style she’d tried
But each failure she cried
Her effort’s rewards ne’er were ‘Just’!
***
Esther Chilton 
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