Happy Monday! I hope this week is both happy and productive. Here’s a new limerick challenge for you – your word is:
JUST
Last week’s prompt was ROCK. You came up with some clever limericks:
Squirreljan:
There once was an old man called Rock
Who had an intensely loud clock
When striking the hour
It turned neighbours sour
Which is why he is now in the dock.
Nicola Daly:
There once was a cocky young jock
Thought it was clever to jump from a high rock
When his waistband broke
He said, ‘This is no joke
Now they’ll all see it’s just a stuffed sock.’
Kate from Cornwall:
The vicar gave his flock quite a shock
Gyrating wildly along to punk rock
More used to a waltz
They reported his faults
Getting the pogo-dancing parson defrocked.
My brother and I once sold rocks
To neighbors who wore lovely socks
They would ask “why”
We’d point where they lie
And say, “Trying to pretty up the whole block!”
The old clock’s now as hard as a rock.
It is timelessly ticking each tock.
It still hangs on the wall
since it’s pretty and all,
but it’s not of much use as a clock.
The Truth Can Get You In Trouble
Caught between a hard place and a rock,
Gwen would not answer the knock.
Her best friend is very vain,
But the truth remains,
She was wearing an ugly frock.
There once was a girl who did rock,
Alice, her name, loved to shock;
School’s Out! What a blast,
tied a Goth to a mast,
and an anthem to
***
A lady who painted a rock,
woke up to one hell of a shock,
the rock she had daubed,
all the paint had absorbed,
***
A man who had only one sock,
stubbed his toe on an inconvenient rock,
he hobbled and howled,
about how he’d been fouled,
and that’s how he became an old crock.
***
A rock who just wanted to dance,
went to the Sorbonne (that is in France)
they taught him ‘le Jive’
and its dancing did thrive,
‘til it met a bread roll, ‘Quelle est la chance?’
David was a fine-looking fellow
And with the ol’ sling-shot, pretty mellow
Goliath? yeah, a different story
Tall but sad, short-lived and gory…
David slung one rock, Philistines turned yellow
Well-endowed Todd
Todd took too much viagra
Thought it would shrink if he said abracadabra
with a painful erection as hard as a rock
Sex was no longer fun, so he cut off his…
Now he goes by Cleopatra.
I always wanted a rock like this
So I borrowed it from St Francis,
I meant to put it back
But my mind lost track
So I’m sorry that it was missed.
there once was a really tall rock
it was home to a daring little hawk
he’d swoop and he’d dive
screech to show he’s alive
he fancied he was some kind of jock.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A rock n roll singer whose style
Changed his vocal range
Which was a bit strange
For it was his fashion that went out of style.
There once was a fellow called Rock
Who invested in one share of stock.
He watched it every day,
Hoping to collect big pay.
But hoping was all he got.
A Bit Of Bling
Wonder Woman to the jewellers would flock
She was partial to a bright shiny rock
She gasped at the bling,
Then pocketed the ring
Now she’s facing the judge in the dock.
My hubby was climbing some rocks
His hand landed on an old fox!
He started to scowl
Which made the fox howl
And my hubby jumped out of his socks!
There once was a guitarist called Doc
Whose riffs could make audiences flock
With a thunderous sound
He’d shake the whole ground
And make the whole concert hall rock!
When a young man wearing 1 sock
Went climbing and fell on a rock.
They said to him, “Hocking!
Your behaviour is quite shocking!
You have gone and damaged that rock!”
When a young man wearing 1 sock
Said, “all these pretty girls they rock!”,
A young lady called Mable
Danced nude on my table,
Which gave my old aunt a shock!
Sanny M:
Rev Rock was preaching to his flock
A fan of the bright coloured sock
He bent to the altar
His sock garter did falter
The front pews got a video for tik-tok!
There once was a geologist named Brock,
Who studied each pebble and rock.
One day with great cheer,
He found fossils near here,
And shouted, “I’ve struck quite a shock!”
You always played it safe
Poised, smooth with grace
But because you didn’t rock the boat
You never learned how to float
So each storm left you quite displaced.
Between rock and a hard place get stuck
Feeling jaded and down – what the fuck?
Slowly shifting, things move
Low mood starts to improve
On the up once again – wish me luck!
You should have heard Bob McGill talk
When comes to boast, doesn’t balk
His life is supreme
Rides on a sunbeam
If only I had a big rock!
The cool sounds make everything alright
With guitars that are screaming all night
The beat is so bold
It will never grow old
Rock & Roll music is clean out of sight!
A retired man called Adrian
Who was by birth a Gibraltarian
And who resided on the Rock
He was once a seafaring man
Who enjoyed a bar of marzipan
But misses daily his Royal Navy tot.
Put on some Mississippi Delta mojo blues
Before I started writing this ditty for you
Weaving prompts seems to be my new thing
Words flowing freely as the harpoon loudly sings
Found myself busy this morning so this post is late
I fire 420 and open the altered minds blank slate
Limpid vision soon fills a page of new insane slights
Dreams of mine being shown in a bright highlight
If I screw them up and leave behind a little smudge
You can criticize my work and I promise I won’t judge
Believe this my friend, If I get a blue felt writers block
I’ll keep writing, I’ll just switch the music over to rock
False Advertising
There was a guy named Brock
Who bragged he could really rock
But he wasn’t able
To lay out the cable
So said the girls down the block.
My heart ran amock,
As I stared at the rock.
My clothes had disappeared,
The whole beach had cleared.
All that was left was one sock.
***
Esther Chilton 
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