Good afternoon. Here’s a new limerick challenge for you. Your word is:
CELLS
Last week’s prompt was RICH. You came up with some brilliant limericks:
Nicola Daly:
Going after the golden snitch
In an effort to make himself rich
He first stole a broom
Set off at a zoom
But fell off into a deep boggy ditch.
I know a young lady named Maddie
Who is seeking a rich sugar daddy.
She spent the other night
With a man called White –
He had sugar, but alas no money!
He was rich and once handsome. He bought
far more stuff than enough. He was caught
without room, without space,
but with belly and face
that expanded beyond what it ought.
There once was a man from Limericky
Whose nickname was ‘Ivor-no-Dicky’;
His real name was Rich,
He had a glandular glitch,
With the girls he was something of a quicky.
–
A Limerick I write about the rich,
who live in a castle, not a ditch;
they have their plenty,
are not dead before twenty,
and shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.
–
There once was a man from Shoreditch
who suffered from an incurable stitch,
In the local A and E
He was tested for free,
but contracted a seven-year itch.
Dragon Ointment
An entrepreneur with a terrible itch
On Dragon’s Den made a very bold pitch.
See … she’d invented a cream
That worked like a dream,
Now Deborah and her were both rich.
I don’t think I’ll ever be rich
The feel of money makes me itch
Or maybe its the though
That we can be bought
So id rather be digging a ditch!
It must be nice to be rich,
Not to worry about the money itch
In your left palm to get,
In your right to eject:
In both though is just a glitch!
There once was a man with a twitch
always scratching a terrible itch.
When people would glare
he said, “I do not care,
at least God made sure that I’m rich!”
A young man whose name was Mitch
Had a plan that would make him rich
He would grow his hair out
Learn guitar and loudly shout
But got nervous and started to twitch.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A young woman who was very rich
Ended up dead in a ditch
For she flaunted her wealth
Which was bad for her health
As her friends all thought she was a bitch.
There was a young man called Rich
Who fell flat on his face in a ditch
He flailed in the mud
As his nose filled with blood,
Shouting “that was a bit of a glitch”.
There once was a man with a twitch,
Who sought relief from a witch.
She make him a potion,
which included the notion,
To marry this twit who was rich.
Ooh, all that rich food
Puts her in the mood
For sideways glancing
Sexy pole dancing
All to please her dude.
Kate in Cornwall:
Foolish Richard consulted a witch
Whose advert said “I’ll make you rich!”
On taking his fee
She cackled with glee
And now he’s a toad in a ditch.
The Rich Politician
There once was a politician so rich
his gold covered an entire football pitch
he thought himself a star
but tripped over a bar
that left him with a charismatic weird twitch
so he decided to make a fine speech
but silver words were quite out of reach
to the barbers he went
but his time was illl-spent
as his head was just covered with bleach
this disaster made him feel like a chump
in fact he had the right royal hump
so he drank a crate of champagne
which addled his brain
the politician, of course, Donald Thump.
(NB: Disclaimer: Any similarity to any living politician is not intentional…honest)
Finances always bothered Dick
Of course he wanted to be rich
His accounts failed
Notices were mailed
But Dick’s muddled brain couldn’t click.
I was rich till I lost it all at Trumps
My money gone, I’m in the dumps
Now I sell caps
And treasure maps
From that work I just get crumbs!
A fellow who wanted to get rich
Tried farming, then digging a ditch
But luck came one day
In a lottery way—
Now he’s a wealthy son of a bitch!
Dan is one unhappy dude
For the doc has restricted his food
No beer or wine
Nothing rich nor fine
The bland diet has destroyed his mood.
–
Tim has created quite the scene
Spreading rumors rich and mean
Whipping up the bile
With words quite vile
He’s not a nice human being!
An Itch to Travel
A city with culture so rich,
gave travelers an unstoppable itch,
to hop on a plane,
or just go insane,
so they moved there and found their true niche.
Sanny M:
The couple were awarded the flitch
A year and a day since they’d hitched
It was a massive pork joint
But what was the point
It would never make them rich.
A fellow who fancied a glitch,
Found treasure while flipping a switch.
With a chuckle and twitch,
He cried, “I’m now rich!”
Then tripped on a gold-plated hitch.
A suave gentleman named Rich
Was bored and needed a switch
The fix, he was told
By wise men and bold
Was a kiss from a beautiful witch.
A Scotsman called Jock
Had a fish and chip shop
His batter was crispy and rich
Be it on Haddock or cod
Saveloys or hake
Mars bars and snickers
Pizza or kippers
Even a Cadbury’s flake
For Wales, Rich?
For Wales?
Cunning and devious you’ll make
a skilful figure of State
How well you betray
From my cell here I say
For Wales, Rich
Really?
For Wales?
***
Esther Chilton 
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