Happy Monday. Here’s your weekly limerick challenge. Your word is:
RICH
Last week’s prompt was SNEEZE. You came up with some funny and poignant limericks:
Nicola Daly:
When his kilt blew up in a breeze
Old McDonald let out a big sneeze
But all his chuntering and muttering
And coughing and spluttering
Couldn’t hide the sight of his knobbly knees.
There once was a girl named Pat
Who never lost to Matt
As you may know
Matt’s a Pro
So Pat’s nothing to sneeze at
*
Ah-ah-ah-ahchoo!
I say, “God bless you!”
When you sneeze you die
For a very short while
If old wives’ tales are true.
There was a young lady named Louise
Who was known for her powerful sneeze.
A person called Dan
Being a fearful man
There was a young lady named Louise
Who was known for her powerful sneeze.
A person called Dan
Being a fearful man
Choked on his cheese when Louise sneezed!
Kate in Cornwall:
It wasn’t a good time to sneeze
Up there on the flying trapeze
He then had to cough
Which made him fall off
And land on a startled bloke’s knees.
Ritu:
It was building, a great sneeze,
She crossed her legs, prayed, and squeezed
But her pelvic floor
Was, alas, no more
“A pack of Tena Ladies, please!”
There once was a man if you please
Who broke a few ribs with a sneeze
He felt pain fast and deep
It hurt when he tried to sleep
Took him a month to breathe again with ease.
There once was a wonderful sneeze
that came out without doubt and much ease.
Then the sneeze came again
and again and again
till it stopped when it wanted to cease.
Help, she screamed very sadly
Her father had sneezed badly
He’d fallen to the floor
And broken his jaw
So an ambulance came out rapidly.
There once was a spiffing good wheeze,
to organise trees into threes;
ev’ry third bow,
was liable to wow!
the others not quite the bee sneeze.
Not To Be Sneezed At
She was always a compulsive deceiver.
So when she succumbed to a terrible fever,
She’d cough and she’d sneeze
And emit a bronchial wheeze,
But nobody cared, or even believed her.
My Opposite
You were my opposite during a shared phase
Sometimes your rudeness left me in a daze
Annoyed when you coughed and wheezed
And a ripple of cringe after you let out a sneeze
You’re finally gone, and I’m healing from your ways.
Old Tom couldn’t run as he pleased
Being cursed as he was with bad knees
He wanted to skate
However, this was his fate
He was crippled after just one big sneeze!
I once had to do such a sneeze
that was intense, so intense, I said please
not to mention the bee
that landed on me
so, my friend blew away fast with the breeze.
She didn’t want to sneeze
As it brought her to her knees,
Holding her breath turned her blue
So the best she could do
Was to hold her nose and just wheeze!
For me, a big sneeze isn’t new.
And as I am wiping away the goo,
I’ll be literally blown away
Waiting for someone say –
“Are you OK?” and then maybe “God bless you.”
When Jan sneezed the trees would bend over
And everyone ’round would take cover
The city would shake
The earth it would quake
She was so allergic to clover.
When sniffing the pollen filled breeze
I tried to stifle my sneeze
A finger under my nose
Did no good – there she blows
And with a toot I cut the cheese!
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
There was a young man who would sneeze
Whenever he felt a slight breeze
His nose it would twitch
Then start to itch
Before he would sneeze in the breeze.
The Wedding Photograph
Photographer Jill said smile, say cheese
Just as Old Fred made a honking sneeze
His false teeth flew out
And up went the shout
Catch the damn things, they’re off in the breeze!
There once was a man from Belize,
Who traveled a lot on his knees.
When asked way he did it
His answer showed a dim wit.
“I get blown off my feet when I sneeze.”
Most people find summer a breeze
Not me, when I constantly sneeze
I’ve got hay fever woes
It gets right up my nose
Can someone find a cure quick please!
Dopey sold dope that he got from Doc
It’s what made Happy happy,
and let Sleepy sleep
Grumpy became nice and
Bashful turned brazen
And Sneezy,
The dope made him sneeze
No wonder she felt a breeze
Panties down around her knees
Suddenly each cheek
Was blushing most meek
Due to a powerful sneeze.
An Allergic Cat
A cat rested in the sun with ease
Jumped up, but was stopped by a sneeze.
The pollen, of course,
Was the mischievous force—
Now she twitches her whiskers to tease.
A fellow who started to sneeze,
Was chased by a flock of wild geese.
They honked in a line,
Like it was by design,
And stole his last slice of blue cheese!
A quick breath, a tickle inside
A sneeze that can’t be denied
With a mighty “Ah-CHOO!”
All the germs flying through
Then together “Gesundheit!” we cried.
***
Esther Chilton 
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