Happy Monday. Here’s your weekly limerick challenge. Your word is:
SNEEZE
Last week’s prompt was FELL. You came up with some clever limericks:
Nicola Daly:
Just got back from a run on Scafell*
And I’m needing that scented foot gel
To have sweet smelling feet
Will be rather a treat
At the moment they stink to high hell.
* Scafell is the name of the highest hill in England. It’s in Cumbria and some people really do go fell running on it. Apparently it’s fun.
A fell kid is our Tad
No, he isn’t very bad
But it’s no rumor
His graveyard humor
He is quite the strange lad.
*
Dirk wandered across the fell
Until he came across a dell
Trees and stream
Such a dream
A waterfall ringing like a bell.
A man who tried running under a bell
Didn’t duck, hit his head, then he fell
As a result of the clout
He knocked himself out
Now he suffers from migraines as well.
There once was an egg on a wall.
As he sat he could see and felt tall.
When he fell one could tell
that he didn’t fall well,
but no matter. There’s breakfast for all.
He took his axe into the dell
The great oak tree he would fell…
But faerie folk came
Now he sits in shame
In an underground magical cell!
There once was a man, William Tell,
who fell down a disused wishing well;
at the bottom he found
a million pound,
and died a rich man, well, well, well.
*
There was young man, a fine fellow,
whose boots were blue, and his jacket was yellow;
“Hey dol! merry dol!
ring a dong dillo!”
rather than just a simple plain “Hello!”
*
I was walking along when I fell,
into a two-dimensional hell;
from the front I looked fine,
from the side just a line,
but it cut down on postage – ah, well.
*
Was it a moor, a marsh, or a fell?
It seems that no one can tell;
but, if you sink it’s a swamp,
whilst a moor is a yomp,
and a fell is a descent into hell.
I realized it was special, having lack
And when I fell, humility stayed in tact
Reminded me how trials fuel the humble
Helpful was the pain and grumble
Fortified and satisfied – through each setback.
As a mother I can usually tell
When my boy isn’t feeling so well
No care for appearance
No food for sustenance
And into despair there he fell.
Squirreljan:
An elegant young woman called Frances
Spent a lot of her time at posh dances
‘til she tripped and she fell
Letting out a loud yell
Frances no longer dances but prances.
Though I’m not one to kiss and tell,
I think Falling In Love can be swell.
When shared, it’s exhilarating
But unrequited, frustrating…
Depending on how hard you fell!
Kate was a girl who was fast
She thought running was really a blast
Until one day she fell
With a terrible yell
And her ankle wound up in a cast.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A young woman suddenly fell ill
So the doctor prescribed her a pill
It made her feel great
In an athletic state
So she ran up a really big hill.
Norman Noakes climbed up a steep fell
Then cried out, I’ve no one to tell
He’d moaned at his chums
That they all lived like bums
Until they replied, go to hell.
There once was a lady name Dell
Who always complained she’s not well
She was hard to believe
No sympathy did she receive,
Till the time in the well, she fell.
There was a chap called William
Who’s second name was Tell
He fell for a comely maiden
Selling apples near the well
he put an apple on her head
And shot his bolt
and instead
He missed the apple
And the maiden fell down dead.
Joe rose from bed, yelled “what the hell?
Did you put me under some spell?“
His clothes were missing
An asp was hissing
He was dead ‘fore he even fell.
Jill threw a coin down the well
Jack drew a gasp, “what the hell???”
He cried “are you mad?”
“That’s the last coin we had!!”
Then he peered down the well and he fell.
*
Emerging with wet clothes and hair
But no further financial care
Said Jack, “It’s OK”
“you have shown me the way”
“I found a small fortune down there!”
Dizzy Daisy was tipsy and fell
into the old wishing well
Her friends from next door
with laughter did roar
Daisy popped up and yelled “Go to hell!”
A klutzy young fellow named Mel
Tried dancing but constantly fell.
With a slip and a slide,
He took quite a ride—
Now he moonwalks exceptionally well!
As the bellringer pulled on the rope,
He realised he was not able to cope.
The loud ring of the bell,
Deafened the scream as he fell.
And he landed in front of the Pope.
***
Esther Chilton 
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