Your writing prompt this week is
PAPER
When I think of this word, stationary bursts into my mind – notebooks, writing paper, envelopes, cards, gift wrap, diaries, etc. I used to love exploring stationary shops and would always come away with a bag full of all sorts.
What about you? Is it the image of a newspaper you’re thinking of, with sensational headlines splashed across the cover?
Perhaps it’s paper dolls, physical money, books, or paper towels. You may have lots of other things that come to mind.
Fact or fiction, prose or poetry, I would love to read your thoughts on this week’s prompt, but there’s no obligation to share your writing. Here is the work you shared on the last prompt TESTS.
The word “Tests”… it sounds like an invisible waiting room, a place suspended between what we believe to be and what we are about to discover. It is a one-way mirror: we enter with the idea of proving something, and we sometimes come out with the truth in front of us, naked, disarming or luminous.
A test is the moment when the intimate meets the unexpected. What one thought acquired falters; what one was fleeing advances. It is not a judgment, it is a revelation. The test does not punish, it illuminates. It does not condemn, it confronts.
And then there are the tests of life, those that no one notes, but mark with deep ink. Losing, waiting, loving without return, standing in the shadows, believing again… These do not fill any box, but build the soul.
So yes, “Tests” is perhaps the discreet word that life uses to write the most true chapters.
Tests are always the same.
You start by listing your name.
You move to the bubbles.
Carefully add your rubbles
Praying you understand the game.
The edge of forever
When we’re given test
Try to stay as we were
Life is full of zest
When we’re given test
We don’t know the answer
We just have to guess
Not to be of anger
Try to stay as we were
As if it’s the last
Emotion we stir
And we’ll have a blast
Life is full of zest
Carpe diem we should
Not to be stressed
Test of time we stood
When I read Esther’s prompt word, “tests,” I was reminded of a recurring dream I used to have. I was in college and I was taking a required course. The subject matter of the course was of little interest to me and the professor who taught the course was a snoozer. In the recurring dream, I quit attending the class and I only skimmed the course text book. And then it came time to take the final exam, which I needed to pass in order to graduate.
I remember how I felt in that dream and so, to respond to the prompt word, I wrote the following about those feelings as I was taking the test.
The room is silent, yet my mind screams with questions. A clock on the wall ticks louder than it should, each second a reminder how quickly precious time is slipping by.
Multiple choice, fill-in-the-blank, essay questions, it doesn’t matter. Every question seems unfamiliar. Answers elude me like that proverbial ghost in the attic.
My palms sweat as I grip the number two pencil like a lifeline. Thoughts race, collide, dissolve, while clarity is lost in a pea-soup fog. I look around, hoping someone else feels the same storm, but everyone else seems to have all of the answers.
My stomach churns from nerves, not hunger. My confidence slips away with every blank answer. It’s not just a test, it’s a measure of much more than knowledge. It’s a measure of me.
When it’s over, relief doesn’t come, just that empty feeling of failure.
Tested to destruction
But you keep going
Ploughing on into the future
Maximum effort to pass
Even by one point.
Tested for healthiness
Bounced and bumped and pushed
Given medicine that may transform
Be a “cure”
Test positive, or negative?
The result depends
On interpretations
May you all pass.
dazemindfully:
It may be at school,
It may be against a love rival,
It may be at the doctors,
It may be the last chance for survival.
When put to the test,
We all feel the pressure,
Then the anxious wait,
Will we come up to measure.
This made me think of so many things. IQ tests: I’ve had half a dozen or more during my life. Final exams: so glad they’re over with and it’s been twenty years since I graduated high school. Psychological assessments: I still have a love-hate relationship with those. And that goes for tests in general, I guess.
After all, as a child, I didn’t mind taking IQ tests. When I was twelve, I got the infamous Wechsler IQ test, well, the verbal part of it, since I’m blind and the performance part isn’t accessible. I got a score of 154, which, according to the psychologist, indicated giftedness. I’m pretty sure there were all sorts of things wrong with that assessment though.
When I was 30, I got another IQ test, Wechsler again but the adult version and now they removed the clear distinction between verbal and performance IQ so the report just said I got “parts” of the test. My overall IQ score had dropped to 119 I believe. That’s still above-average and I’m pretty sure that’s correct. However, I wish there were a performance IQ test for blind people, because I am pretty sure that’d show where my real limits are. Not that I’m proud of being disabled, but I am and if it could be proven on a test, that’d be much better than an ever-changing psychiatric diagnosis.
Final exams. Like I said, I’m glad it’s been twenty years since I graduated high school. My final exams were quite frustrating, as not only was I horribly nervous, but my computer crashed once in the middle of the test. I graduated from what in the UK is called grammar school and honestly I have no clue how I did it. I mean, well, I know, sort of: the same way I “passed” my IQ tests, ie. being a pretty above-average memorizer. Too bad that a good memory and decent academic skills don’t get me far in life. It takes more than test-taking abilities to be successful, after all.
I hated grammar school and the tests we had. I think they were worse than the exams!
Certain members of my family have tested my patience over the years, and Hubby was on the receiving end of me throttling my niece in a dream!
I passed my driving test first time on February 15th 1978. I was the first female in my family to do so. My sister took two attempts and her daughters 8 and 3.
Been on the receiving end of positive tests for breast cancer twice. All good now and my mammogram on May 13th came back clear. Yay!!
Linking People 2003:
In a lab where the curious scientist plays,
When “tests” are just part of his busy days,
He juggles some flasks and beakers,
Surprises the students and seekers,
Turning curing potions to laughter and praise!
There are sure a lot of tests in the world, aren’t there.
1. Tests on subjects in school
2. Driving test to get your license to drive a car
3. Eye test to get glasses or contacts in order to see better
4. Tests of the Emergency Broadcast in case of bad things going on
a. bad weather alerts
b. abducted persons/kids
c. a national emergency
5. Those loudspeaker tests of emergency sirens in neighborhoods, for dangerous weather
6. Testing at the doctor’s office or hospital, and labs
7. Testing by scribbling with pens, pencils, and markers to see of they are still working
8. Testing food to see it if is the recommended temperature
9. Testing/tasting the food to see if it’s any good.
10. Testing to see if you really did read all of these.
Path of Fire
Quiet, reserved, and introspective
as a young girl; always absorbed
in a book or three; easy to please
Who knew I’d have to walk
a path of fire. In the beginning
I asked myself why me?
Have I done something wrong?
Why am I being constantly tested?
Was I Hitler in a previous life?
Did I miss my calling in life?
Was I supposed to be a doctor?
The coals burned – creating scars
on the bottoms of my bare feet
My heart bled, splintering each time
into a thousand pieces
I learned about hypospadias,
Balanitis Xerotica Obliterans,
brittle asthma, superbugs,
biofilms, pulmonary embolisms,
and venal sinal thrombosis
Each time I sat in a hospital
I saw other patients –
people with family members
whose prognosis was poor:
babies with cystic fibrosis
toddlers with leukemia
teenagers with chronic epilepsy
young victims of car accidents
mothers with ovarian cancer
fathers with brain embolisms
elderly people who’ve lost much:
their speech, mobility, even their minds
Slowly, as time passed; I learned
to accept the unstoppable flow of life
in all its natural unpredictability
The scars on my feet healed
forming tougher, protective layers
to carry me through periods of pain
My heart reformed, learned to release
my dependencies on others
and love in the moment
My brain relaxed its need
to plan relentlessly for the future
and to live in the present
My life path has taught me gratitude,
acceptance, and positivity
By not fighting the river of life
I have found peace
and an ability to live
without regrets and remorse
‘He who tests, shall, in turn, be tested.’
This was written above the door of the school hall in a large copperplate font. It had been there for many long decades;
but, nobody took much notice of those words anymore – in fact, they were misquoted from a badly translated mediaeval manuscript, which translation should have read, ‘He who is tested, shall, in turn test’. One of many travesties in the literary world, of which quite a few were down to the shoddy workmanship and lax penmanship of various “scholars” over the life of this “prestigious”school.
So, the school didn’t pass that test with any flying colours. Speaking of which, they regularly flew the Union Jack upside down from the flagpole situated too close to the thousand year old oak, that was itself too close to the gymnasium wing – subsidence was currently undergoing a modern revival, you could say.
When exams were held in the gymnasium wing – which had been carefully cleared of all sporting appliances – it was a test of the building’s integrity that proved one pupil too much for the building, the oak, and the flagpole (currently unadorned) – the oak headed away from the school, the gymnasium canted at a surprisingly exact angle of 30 degrees, and the flagpole capsized into the frontage of the opposing library windows – causing more noise than a solitary “Silence!” notice hanging above the librarian’s desk could possibly deny.
The headmaster responded, a little testily, to the questions that the local press asked. It seems Nature was to blame, and in no way was the school board at fault for something that couldn’t possibly have been envisioned – even if the regular safety checks had been carried out.
Later in the year it was announced that the school had returned its best exam results for over a decade. Maybe the sympathy marking that the papers received might have been somewhat to thank for this – or the fact that the marking institution was run by the headmaster’s brother might be the cause – we shall never know.
A Prayer for Rest
if this is some kind of test,
i accept it, dear God, with grace.
for i know You would never give me
a burden i cannot face.
i’ve stood through the fiercest storms,
endured the darkest nights.
i’ve welcomed dawns with open arms
after endless, silent fights.
you’ve clothed me in quiet courage,
armed me with unseen might.
in every war that life has waged,
You taught my soul to fight.
but God—You know i’m weary now,
i feel it in my bones.
i’m not complaining, not with blame,
just speaking soft in tones.
i’m only asking for a breath,
a moment to be still—
to mend the cracks, to catch my thoughts,
to wait upon Your will.
let me lie in peace awhile,
and gather all i’ve lost.
i promise i’ll return again,
no matter what the cost—
stronger, braver than before,
with faith that does not break.
but for now, dear God, i’m pleading:
please… just give me a break.
***
Esther Chilton 
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