We’ve another bank holiday here in the UK today. The weather isn’t too good, which is the norm, but I hope you’ve had a good one anyway. Here’s a fresh limerick challenge for you at the start of the week. Your word this week is:
TALK
Last week’s prompt was RENT. You came up with some very funny limericks:
May I rent a small tent in your head?
I will lead you and feed you, I said.
I will say what I will
and you will get a fill,
but alive you won’t be till I’m dead.
The devil rents space in my head
Driving me downward to dread
I want him out
That insane lout
So I’m praying he’d soon be dead!
Nicola Daly:
One pole of the tent is bent
The other has a great big dent.
Well, I’ll be damned
The zip’s just jammed
And after paying all that flipping rent.
Kate in Kent:
An ‘a la mode’ youngster from Kent
wore his Levi’s deliberately rent.
His mum called him a fool
but he thought he was cool.
Well, he would be in jeans with a vent!
I couldn’t afford the rent
Coz my savings were already spent
On whisky and Beer
Throughout the whole of the Year
So now I lie p****d in a tent.
A young man who lives in Kent
Said, “all my money I have spent
On booze and young women
As I’m fond of sinning!
And now I can’t pay my rent!”
Rent a car was what she said
You’ll get home very soon to bed
So I paid the money
But it’s very unfunny
It wouldn’t move, it’s battery was dead!
Remember the days of yore
When you’d rent a movie at a store?
Choosing was more fun
But today we’ve won
For rewinding was such a chore!
***
There was once a mouse
Who rented a holiday house
Or so she said
But really, instead
She took over mine, that louse!
Five lines on the subject of rent,
Exploring the lessee’s lament,
Means I should make time
To develop a rhyme.
And that’s where my afternoon went!
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
There was a young woman who spent
All of her wages on rent
It left her flat broke
So she said okie doke
To save money I’ll live in a tent.
Squirreljan:
There once was a grumpy old gent
Who knocked on street doors to collect rent
Then one day it went wrong
When a girl in a thong
Dragged him inside. Now he’s spent!
The time came for him to pay his rent
But by then all of his money was spent
At the end day
With no money to pay
He ended up moving into a tent.
A quare cold day in Belfast town,
The sky was grey, the sun was down.
He muttered, “Ach here,
I need more than beer,
This weather would sicken a clown!”
There once was a old gent from Trent,
Who told stories where truth was bent.
Most knew his proclivity for lying,
But never tried to alter his trying.
Cause they knew he’s just scraping for rent.
The room was a little bent,
But was miles better than his tent,
He accepted with glee
Signing over his fee
For the first three months rent.
There once was a landlord who lent,
A flat with a questionable scent.
When tenants inquired,
He said, “It’s inspired!”
And promptly doubled the rent.
The landlord, a mean old gent,
Demanded his monthly rent.
His tenant declared,
“My pockets are bared!
I’ve no money, my last coin is spent!”
With his lodger’s rent three months overdue
Said the landord, ‘Just this once, just for you
I’ll take payment in kind
As long as you don’t mind
Joining the back of a very long queue.’
I begged my ‘rent to go out
Then I cried and started to shout
She said, ‘Look at you’
‘You act like you’re two’
So I went to bed to pout.
***
My ‘rent must have the gout
Of that I have no doubt
Why would she be
So mean to me
And ground me from going out
Alas, my money’s all spent,
Bank balance has a large dent.
I had a good time,
Shopping on line.
Now, I can’t pay the rent.
Wearing shoes of cement
He didn’t pay his rent
He never imagined
He’d be feeling chagrined
Over the rules he’d bent.
***
Esther Chilton 
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