It’s that time of the week – story time. So here we go…
Can you tell a story in 40 words using the following words in it somewhere:
- CURL
- POTION
- ROBIN
- UNI-CYCLE
- BOMBAST
Last week’s challenge was to write a story in 31 words using the following words in it somewhere:
- CANOE
- TURKEY
- MIME
- NAILS
Here are your laugh out loud stories:
The Critter Team Triathlon took place today: Canoeing/Cycling/Running.
The Turkeys won, but spent far too long giving thanks, the Common Mime Caterpillars were runners-up – the snails trailed in last.
Nicola Daly:
‘This is crackers!’ sniffed Great-Aunt Petunia. ‘How on earth can I mime a turkey in a canoe heading to the spa to get its nails done? I hate playing Christmas charades.’
Thinking about the dance competition at the Canoe Club, she painted her nails. Ragtime Music was the theme. Would their mime interpretation of the Turkey Trot take them to the finals?
The mime pretended to be a turkey. Then a canoe. Then a box of nails.
“What’s he doing?”
“He was pretending to be a turkey. Now he’s pretending to be himself.”
One minute I was in my shed drinking a bottle of Wild Turkey, the next I was in the middle of a mime, hammering imaginary nails into my imaginary wooden canoe.
With a sound like nails on a chalkboard, the turkey’s feet scraped the side of the canoe as he mimed falling in the water. Only he wasn’t pretending this time … ker-splash!
Kate in Cornwall:
Had my nails done on holiday in Turkey. Don’t speak the lingo so had to mime ‘canoe’ for my right middle finger. My selfish, inconsiderate, constantly canoeing boyfriend got the message.
The mime pretended he was loading a turkey into his canoe. He took several nails and pretended to thread them through the turkey after stuffing it. No one figured it out.
I was hunting turkey in my canoe, when all of a sudden, I heard a screech like nails in a chalkboard. Then I saw a mime flailing his arms from shore.
The canoe flew over the rapids, the turkey launched upwards from its bow. My nails grazed it’s surface, like a mime artist missing an invisible wall. It floated away and sank!
In Candlestick Park I watched Weapon Turkey Mimes, a heavy metal band achieve Redivivus on stage as they opened for Nine Inch Nails. My transportation was in a canoe both ways.
Murray Clarke:
Mustafa Erdogan, born 1948 in the poverty-stricken slums of southern Turkey, was a mime artist who designed the world’s first wooden canoe – assembled using gold-plated nails instead of glue and fibreglass.
A mime in a canoe with a turkey
Set off on a lake calm and murky
He painted his nails
And he mimed silent tales
Then paddled past scenes herky-jerky.
“Look at that duck waddle.” My little sister, Birdie, mimed a wiggle as she perched on the canoe’s seat.
I poked her with my finger nail. “It’s a goose, you turkey.”
Resting in my canoe while the turkey does the paddling I am stunned to see the mime doing his nails on the quay.
Nora always had some interesting challenges. This one was certainly different.
“A turkey painting his nails in a canoe.”
Harry wondered how he was going to mime that for their Charades.
Rather than swear, I did a mime to show pain as my nails broke on the canoe.
We never found a turkey that day, but my manicure was completely ruined.
The Christmas play demanded of me that I mime hammering nails into a landing stage post, to secure my canoe before delivering the turkey to the outpost in the Canadian wilderness.
***
Esther Chilton 
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