It’s Thursday so it’s time for a short story. Here’s a new challenge for you:
Can you tell a story in 35 words? You must use the following words somewhere in the story:
- YETI
- BURGER
- ZOOM
- TABOO
The previous prompt was to tell a story in 40 words using the following words in it somewhere:
- HAMMOCK
- PLAYBOY
- ALLIGATOR
- BASSOON
- TENDER
Here are your hilarious stories:
Niki Daly:
Alisdair the alligator languished in a hammock teasing tender notes of a love song from his bass bassoon.
‘Where were you last night?’ Annabel screamed, smashing her saxophone over his scaly chest. ‘You stood me up again – you slimy playboy!’
The aging playboy lounged in his hammock, rearranging thinning hair to disguise his alligator skin. Ruing the lack of women, but grateful for the new bassoon to occupy his hands, even if the constant practice had made his fingers tender.
The playboy rested in his hammock like a tender alligator ready to pounce.
He wished he had the time to do more constructive stuff like learning how to play the bassoon.
However, playing around took up all of his time.
I was down by the swamp in my hammock and swatting mosquitoes with my Playboy when I saw bubbles appear on the surface of the water, some weird noise then an alligator appeared, playing Love Me Tender on his bassoon.
The hammock shook as the bassoon player climbed aboard. In reality he was a playboy with a tender heart for a beautiful woman. But unbeknownst to him she had vacated the hanging bed because an alligator had taken up residence!
Dreams can be pretty weird at times. Anything can happen and although I haven’t dreamt this, I probably could!
Imagine a tender romantic moment with an alligator playing a bassoon as another lounges in a hammock. Hardly a playboy image!
In the twilight, a playboy strummed his bassoon, its tender notes drifting over the river. An alligator, curious, glided closer, drawn by the melody. Nearby, a hammock swayed gently, cradling dreams as the music wove magic into the night.
“Mr. Alligator, see my grandpa in the hammock?”
“Ahem, why is he wearing short shorts?”
“He says he’s a playboy. Can you play any Grandpa songs on your bassoon?”
“How ‘bout “Love Me Tender?”
“Never heard of it. Sounds good.”
Murray Clarke:
The Head Keeper (a well-known Polish playboy) reclined in his hammock and sent an email requesting an alligator and a BABOON for the zoo. However, he misspelt his message – a BASSOON was delivered instead, forcing him to tender his resignation!
They say I’m a playboy, but I was laying there in the hammock, nude, tanning all my tender parts and practicing my bassoon, when an alligator jumped up and bit me! So I knocked him right out with my tenoroon!
The shop, Playboy Alligator, was filled with conflicting wares. Shouldn’t that be comfortable wares? A hammock, tender to the touch, played soothing sounds from a baboon. Surely they meant bassoon? The twist of words throughout the advertisement brought in throngs.
Teacher asked the class to write a sentence using the list of words. One student wrote: As the playboy relaxed in his hammock an alligator came and bit him in his tender place, which made him scream like a bassoon.
A handsome playboy was lounging in a hammock by a lake playing music with his bassoon. An alligator crept up to where he was playing, thought what tender morsel he would be, and opened its mouth to take a taste.
Rall:
She played the oboe with a lovely tender tone and looked like a playboy bunny. When he found a photo of her and her bassoonist boyfriend dressed in an alligator suit lying in a hammock, he lost interest. Too weird.
Phil was a playboy with a tender heart. When he spied the injured alligator, he carefully laid him in his hammock, then regaled him with soft bassoon music to sooth the savage beast. The healed up alligator became his friend.
Alligator thought himself a swampy
playboy, ablowin’ his bassoon, until
along came Bear, and made him look
like a buffoon. This tender teddy bear,
sat in a snowy hammock chair, began to
play his harp — he was really very sharp.
The playboy lay dozing in his hammock .Suddenly, his wife struck up ‘Tender is the Night’ on her bassoon. He shot bolt upright and groaned. His pet alligator awoke from her afternoon nap and slid into the pool in disgust.
The hot hunky playboy sang ‘Love Me Tender’
While a rockin’ alligator strummed his very cool Fender
In an old hammock fat frogs did croon
While swamp rats played a giant bassoon
And the crocodile choir chanted ‘Return to Sender!’
Relaxing by the lake with her toy-boy, a bassoon playing Vivaldi in the background, the tender scene was suddenly interrupted by a hungry alligator emerging from the water. They were out of that hammock like bats out of hell.
Here are a couple of stories inside or outside the word limit but using all the prompts:
A bassoon player had overstayed his visit in my hammock. Although he was a member of the Playboy magazine all-stars, my tender hearted alligator, Ralph and I, both thought he should leave. A big hug from Ralph was all it took to gain back what was ours.
Wilf Leahy:
The alligator saw the playboy sleeping in his hammock with a bassoon full of wine and ice underneath. Well, he eats the playboy and says, “My word he’s tender.”
***
Esther Chilton 
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