Here’s the next episode in my building work diary, telling the tale of when I had a loft conversion a few years ago.
If you missed the story so far, here are the earlier days:
Days Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven and Twelve
Days Thirteen, Fourteen and Fifteen
Days Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty and Twenty-one
I’m on my way back from Harrogate but the news is that the stairs haven’t turned up. Of course they haven’t.
Day Twenty-two
The supervisor, Mike, rings at 10.30.
“‘allo. You all right?” he says.
“Yes, I’m fine thank you. How are you?”
“I’m all right. You all right?”
This could get rather tiresome so I nip it in the bud, “The stairs?”
“Oh, yeah. Them. They’ll be here at 12. Dead on the dot,” he says and chuckles.
Oh good; they’re going to be late.
The stairs turn up at 2.30, together with Mike and his sidekick Trev, who I instantly decide I wouldn’t like to meet on a dark night. Still, they get on with the job, and are finished in no time, so I shouldn’t complain.
Mike shows me round once they’re finished. I’m smiling away, thinking that this is all coming together when he dashes my hopes. “Um, there might be a slight delay with the second fit.”
What on earth is a second fit?
I find out that a second fit refers to doors, skirting boards, etc.
I ask why there might be a slight delay and wish I hadn’t.
“Well, the bloke’s nearly sawn his hand off.” This is said in the same voice one might use when talking about what a lovely, sunny day it is. It must be something to do with their training.
I’m sure my jaw must have dropped down to the ground and back up again. Poor chap.
Mike grins at me and he’s off, speeding down the road. I think the delay is going to be more than ‘slight’.
Esther Chilton 
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