Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:
NECK
Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word CHURCH in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:
As the time nears for jumpers and sweaters,
We should think of our elders and betters.
A bench near the church
Is a fine place to perch
(And at least it has more than five letters!)
–
The church is where you meet your God
With delight, not a smile and a nod,
Yet so many look sad
As if life is so bad.
Doesn’t that seem to you rather odd?
They went to marry in the church
After meeting on a Internet search
But things went odd ’cause
The groom drank vodkas!
Causing him, down the aisle, to lurch!
Sid said crime does pay
Robbed and killed hundreds, they say
But tell him he’s bad
And he’ll get real mad
For he goes to church every Sunday!
There was a vicar named Mell
Everyone knew him so well
He was icy and stern
Commanded listen and learn
Or I’ll send you all to hell.
There once was a man in church
Who bumped on the pew with a lurch
He almost fell down
He sat and frowned
“He’s drunk, no he’s blind,” and they smirched.
As the church bells rang out for my John
I played the grieving widow with aplomb
But deep down in my heart
I was itching to start
A new life now the sad bastard’s gone !
When an ascetic churchwarden, called Bunt
Found out what they’d done to his punt
Which was covered in baubles
He said, ‘Bless my corbels;
Whoever did this must be some sort of an artist.’
***
Images credit: Rebel Quotes
Esther Chilton 
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