Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:
SNEEZE
Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word JUMP in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:
Not all things are quite as they seem.
Such as: when I saw this week’s theme,
It moved me to jump
Just like Forrest Gump
And, like him, do something extreme!
Everyone’s cheering me; JUMP!
But check out the size of my rump
I might make it over
A short field of white clover
But I’ll never hurdle that stump!
Once, I found I was touring the zoo
‘Plete with badgers, a monkey, a gnu.
Near the Australia pen
Jumped a man, name of Ben,
Who swore he was part kangaroo.
The spider did jump on my head
I ran ‘round the yard with much dread
I washed my hair well
The welt it did swell
The spider, oh yes, now is dead.
There once was a boy named Bert
Who tripped and fell in the dirt
Not one to slump
He was up with a jump
But fell again, and it hurt!
–
The quick fox jumped over the dog
Who acted as lazy as a log
All this hype
To practice type
My fingers begin to bog…
A flat battery ruined my friendship with Adrian Crump
Who knocked on my door and asked me for a jump.
When I queried ‘How high?’,
He poked me in the eye
And told me he thought I was a total and utter chump…
(though I may have misheard that last bit)
Oh, that last hurdle I must jump
Which means more time on my rump,
To finish my story
Might mean certain glory
So the deadline now I must trump!
‘Jump up and catch that fly
Before it soars into the sky’
So the cat leapt up
As her friend said ‘hup’
But missed and the fly said ‘bye’!
I once knew a boxer called Thumper,
Whose brother was the world’s greatest jumper.
His Fosbury flop
Took him right to the top.
They’re now both retired and much plumper.
***
Esther Chilton 
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