Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:
FORK
Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word CRIME in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:
Crime doesn’t pay, so I’ve heard.
Realistically, though, that’s absurd.
I once knew a fellow
Made loads faking Jell-o,
Even he never did any bird.
I once committed a crime
I’d tell but I’m all out of time—
Well, I called him a rat
And he’s a real bad cat
He jumped me and I need iodine.
There is a story of Jack the Knife
Who did something awful to his wife
Crimes of passion
Aren’t in fashion
So he’s doing 20 to life.
A girl had committed a crime
Guilty she was all the time
She drove through red lights
Causing many some frights
Then fled having turned on a dime!
Writing limericks could be a crime
Especially when they take a long time
To write it all down
And not make you frown
Trying to work out a really good rhyme!
Let me tell you a story of grime
It’s a tale as old as time
Teens, they don’t clean
You know what I mean
It really should be a crime!
With a faith that was less than sublime
He offended the Lord all the time
In church he would doze
Then start picking his nose
Which is not just a sin, it’s a crime!
The wife’s gone for good, hip hooray
(A big fat cheque is on its way)
Buried six feet below
The new patio
And who says that crime doesn’t pay?
It ain’t no crime to drink soda and lime
While writing lines that sometimes don’t rhyme.
But it makes no sense
To sit on the fence
When a soft leather chair gives a comfier time.
***
Esther Chilton 
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