Ghostly Woes
I am a ghost and my aim is to scare,
Sending shivers, chilling all those who dare
Enter my deepest and deadliest lair,
Alas, I’m not very good.
As a lad, I couldn’t wait to be dead,
To walk through walls, but I always hit my head,
The world’s worst ghost is what the guidebooks said,
Alas, I’m not very good.
My breath is so pungent it’s stale,
And I have perfected my blood-curdling wail,
But all folk do is laugh so I have failed,
Alas, I’m not very good.
My face isn’t that fearsome, it’s true,
Not even when I shout the loudest boo,
Perhaps a ferocious mask will do,
Alas, I’m not very good.
The story of my death is not the best,
I was pulling on my faithful string vest,
It stuck round my neck, well, you know the rest,
Alas, I’m not very good.
If you’re lonely, come and see me one night,
I promise I won’t give you a fright.
***

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