Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –
FAKE
Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt last week was BEER.
Some may think this unusual or queer
But I really do not enjoy beer
Neither porter nor ale
Be it black, brown or pale.
I can always drive home, have no fear.
Beer comes in all sorts of flavours
drunk it makes you give out favours
A sup of fresh beer
I’m afraid you should fear
it may cost you a loss of your labours.
A girl I knew once hated beer
Yet vodka would bring her some cheer
Maybe cider or wine
She said was divine
But margaritas she found very dear!
Paul Mastaglio:
Never fear
I’ll ask for a beer
I’ll go to the pub
Get some grub
And wish my mate was here.
Bob went out for a beer or two
With his good friends Tina and Sue
The ladies hit the dance floor
So Bob drank more and more
Until too much beer made him spew.
–
Beer is a mighty good drink
At least that’s what I used to think
But the drink for me
Is a pot of tea
For fermented hops really does stink.
It’s good fun to gather over a beer
But not when we’re full of fear
Covid-19 must go
That invisible foe
Is ruining all we British hold dear.
The naturist Alain Armistead
Brewed beer, in the nude, in his shed.
On his famed open days
He received special praise
Because he always displayed a good head.
I heard the man order a cold beer
But twas lukewarm, like a woman’s tear
When her heart was broken
By careless words spoken
Cos, the bachelor gave into fear.
Sometimes a beer sounds very nice
With cheese, crackers, frothed mug on ice
I’d like to feel a tad bit buzzy
But head would pound, vision turn fuzzy
Thus, alcohol will ne’er be vice.
Sharon Tingle:
On this island, we love Red Stripe Beer
Yeh mon! We celebrating its ninety second year.
Without a doubt, at parties it’s the main alcohol.
Watch out though, we shake and spray it like an aerosol
When we partying here!
***
Esther Chilton 
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