Here’s your Monday smile – it’s limerick time. Send in your own or here’s a prompt for you –
VOTE
Here are a few limericks to make you smile this Monday. The prompt was KNIT from a couple of weeks ago.
My writing will oft make me smile
Though editing’s just not my style.
If I could just knit
Or crochet a bit
I’d at least turn out something worthwhile.
I’ve been putting on weight. Just a bit.
The back of my pants has just split
You may think that’s it’s funny
But I ain’t got no money
And can’t sew. And nor can I knit.
–
I spend all my time here just sitting
All day long I just sat here, just knitting
To enhance my enjoyment
I embraced unemployment
Even that I just ended up quitting.
To make a beret, that will suit you
I’ll knit a few rows of some bright blue
A line of sunny yellow
And reds, really mellow
Followed on by a gold and purple hue!
Paul Mastaglio:
A word to the wise
If you can’t get a jumper your size
I’ll ask my nan
Of whom I’m her greatest fan
And she’ll knit you one as a surprise.
There once was a girl that could knit
But missing a stitch, threw a fit
Her mother yelled out,
“Don’t be such a lout”
So instead she stomped off in a snit!
That human threw a horrendous fit
It takes patience to learn how to knit
Our skill evolves with time
Unlike a spinning dime
Our project increases with each sit.
Knitting? I can’t, I’m a-frayed.
If only my needles obeyed!
When I stitched a line,
They promptly declined;
They and Crochet Hook just played.
I ruminate till brows are knit
Thoughts entangle, won’t settle, quit
Seems mind has ‘purled two’, lost a stitch
If only brain had on-off switch
Maybe just need to nap for a bit.
***
Esther Chilton 
Debate number one … what theatrics!
Diagnosed by the best Psychiatrics
Upon this sinking boat
It is soon time to vote
In a race between two geriatrics
LikeLiked by 2 people
Absolutely fab!
LikeLike
Or ….
I’ll be casting my vote on a hunch
Between two of the worst in the bunch
It’s all up in the air
On a wing and a prayer
I can’t cope. There’s no hope. Of free lunch.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another gem.
LikeLike
The last time I went out to vote
I tasted some bile in my throat
Seems each candidate
Wants the food off my plate
I might just as well get my coat
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great! Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
When deciding which way to vote
Consider the words from their throat
If they have mad ideas
And raise up your fears
Don’t go for the one that’s a dolt!
LikeLiked by 2 people
🤣🤣
LikeLike
There is a vote this year
Actually, it’s getting quite near!
With all that’s been
I hope we win
If not, I’ll shed many a tear
They say it’s majority rule
And a vote is the citizen tool
But when the the minority wins
And elects a man who sins
I feel I’ve been made a fool
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very good!
LikeLiked by 1 person
The creatures all gathered to vote
For Turtle, or Myrtle the goat.
Turtle said, “Taxes!”
Whilst Myrtle, “Relaxes!”
Votes counted, they ‘ppointed some oats.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love it! Thank you 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
An idea I must float
So please take note
Because if you agree
It could bear fruit, you see
If only you would give me your vote.
Cheers Paul 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good one 😊
LikeLike
I love the quote–I’m going to start a bag of Oreos…and maybe finish them sooner than later 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
🤣🤣
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Here’s mine: https://breathingshallowpoetry.wordpress.com/2020/10/07/vote-limerick/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Random Limericks 8 – Keith Kreates!