It’s Monday again and that means limerick time! Many of you are coming up with your own, which is fantastic. But if you’d like a prompt, how about writing one on TOAST? Here are are your wonderful creations from last week:
Unlike the pigeon or the owl
the bustard is a curious fowl
It is saved, you see
From illegitimacy
By means of one altered vowel.
(Another my dad told us)
Or this one which is said to have been placed by JB Priestley in the Times classified ads after he was challenged by the editor who said the Times would never publish a limerick (I’ve set it out, not as it would appear in the ads, but as a limerick.)
A Peripatetic vicar has want
Of a second hand portable font
Will exchange for the same
A picture, in frame
Of the suffragan bishop of Vermont.
There once was a man who loved lard;
He used it to poem like The Bard.
“Rub it in lib’r’lly,”
He told his two progeny,
“Slip along, oh proud House of LePard!”
Just today, whilst I sat in my bed,
I thought, “What if I were named ‘Fred?’
Would my toes smell as sweet?
-How ’bout my feet?”
Said my husband, “Just *sleep* in the bed!”
I once owned a lovely old cat
Whose name you will see was ‘chat’
She used to say mioaw
And moo like a cow
And flew round the room like a bat.
Paul Mastaglio:
You want to play a game,
So you ask her name,
She’s not saying,
No intention of playing,
Sending you back from where you came.
A crafty old moggie named Mitzi
Sipping wine got alarmingly tipsy.
The birds that she sought
Knew they’d never get caught
And pecked off the tail of the gypsy!
Val Fish:
The missus rumbled our affair
When she came across a blonde hair
In the marital bed
(the wife’s a redhead)
Now it’s curtains for the au pair.
***
Esther Chilton 
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