It’s Friday tomorrow so you’ve nearly made it to the weekend 🙂 I hope your week’s been a good one. Here’s my new challenge for you:
Option one: Write a limerick with the word CODSWALLOP in it somewhere
Option two: Write a poem on the theme of TRANSPORT
Option three: Write a ten-word story using all of the following words: JOKE, SINGING, GRAHAM, GAZUMPED and VICTORY
Last week option one was to write a limerick with the word BREAD featuring in it somewhere. Here are the wonderful results:
Keith Channing was swiftly first in with his delightful offerings:
A bevy of boulangerisms
Sitting here in my old garden shed,
I’m writing a Lim’rick about bread.
I was just far too swamped
To take up last week’s prompt,
So I’m doing it this week instead.
I should say as well, not instead,
But I’ve just dragged myself out of bed
What I really need most
Is some hot buttered toast.
Oh bugger! I’ve run out of bread.
The boulangerie’s not too far
I’ll be there in five minutes by car
If I buy some bread
While my wife’s still in bed
Perhaps she will think I’m a star.
The boulangerie’s not open yet
So the big shop is a better bet
I’ll toast her a crumpet
She’ll like it or lump it
It’s near enough bread – so no sweat!
That way I can carry on writing
Than shopping, it’s much more exciting
We’re right out of bread
But won’t end up dead
Since hot buttered crumpet’s inviting.
Keith said ‘I know you didn’t ask for it but, just for fun, how about a limerick including the word ‘hypnogenesis’? Possible? You be the judge’. I love it:
There’s a new type of pill soporific
Whose effect is, they say, just terrific.
For me, watching tennis is
Pure hypnogenesis;
It works, though it’s not scientific.
–
Traci Aina’s limerick will certainly raise a smile:
There was an old man named Fred
Who was totally addicted to bread
Sometimes it was jam
At other times ham
But now he’s going low carb instead.
–
David Harrison came up with two excellent limericks:
Unable to find a fruit cake
Or make biscuits as I couldn’t bake
I was forced instead
To make do with brown bread
Come on somebody-grill me a steak!
–
For his birthday unfortunate Mike
Had designs on a spanking new bike
His mean wife instead
Wrapped up some bread
And said “As for the bike, take a hike!
–
It’s now over to Graeme Sandford. Prepare to laugh:
Bread Limerick #1
‘Bread’ you said, not potato or shed
And definitely not a hula-hoop made of lead;
A roll, or loaf
Sliced, buttered or both
And lightly toasted to give them street-cred?
Bread Limerick #2
“The torpedoes are ready, captain.”
“Thank you, number one.”
Although the men are quite happy with their stale Chelsea bun.”
“Just one bun between you;
That will never do;
It’s not by eating a left over pastry that HMS Breadnought will ever beat the Hun.”
Upper-Crust Bread Limerick #3
Use your loaf and toast the queen
If you’re well bred and voted Green
Though if your ‘bread’ is green
It’s probably a has-been
And, well, not that fit for a queen.
Bread Limerick #4
Bread and Bunjolina went to the bakery one day
To pit their wits against the baker with his wares upon his tray
They tried the most; they tried the least
They rose to the occasion like a loaf hosting yeast
But, even though the baker won, they all had jolie good fun anyway.
Bread Limerick #5
Sliced thin or thick
With butter to lick
Brown, white
Take a bite
Lovely indeed; does the trick.
Bread Limerick #6
I won’t mention bread in this rhyme
I mentioned it some other time
Crumbs are okay
But, I’d just like to say
I won’t be committing ‘that’ crime.
Limerick du pain #sept (parlé avec un accent Français, si vous plaît).
There once was a baker named Ablur
Who could bake his bread formidable
In Marseille he bakéd
Though his accent was fakéd
His was the bread you’d want served sur votre tablé.
Bread Limerick #8
A man by the name of Charlie Abel Baker
Was late-to-bed; and, therefore a late-waker
He stayed up one night
Until dawn’s early light
And as he was going to be late for work that morning (in a bakery, perchance – where he proved the bread, or provoked it, I’m a bit hazy on the detail there), he had to rush his porridge oats (they were Quaker).
–
Please check out ladyleemanila‘s website for her entertaining limerick:
https://ladyleemanila.wordpress.com/2016/03/11/my-weekly-writing-challenge-bread/
–
Option two was for a poem on the theme of BIRTHDAYS.
Geoff Le Pard often brings something funny to the table. Here he goes for something a bit different:
The Last Birthday
She died on her birthday
Cold
Part of a make do and mend generation.
I began to unclutter the next day
Told
Myself it would numb the sensation
Shoes to sort, bills to pay
Fold
Her coats in anticipation
Of clearing the way.
Mould
My heart with deliberation
For a future which may
Hold
Some peace for my consideration.
Birthdays suck.
–
Rajiv sent in another strong poem:
The night he was born
On the Cape of Good Horn
Lucifer cried to me,
“I am King of all I see!”
“It’s very dark, I like the dark.
And here I shall make my mark.”
He smiled at me, he laughed he smirked,
From the time I saw his birth.
–
The final option was to write a ten-word story using all of the following words: FATAL, CHEESE, FACEBOOK, LOGOLEPSY and PIGGESNYE
Rajiv sent in a super one:
Don’t buy piggesyne or logolepsy cheese from Facebook. It’s fatal!
–
Sarah Evans went over the word count but I love her story anyway!:
Cheese-y Tom used Facebook for Piggesnye and Logolepsy reasons but it proved fatal!
–
David Harrison’s story brings the challenge to a brilliant close:
Piggesnye and logolepsy? Fatal! Must be Facebook words. Hard cheese!
***
Esther Chilton 
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