Happy new week. Here’s your new limerick challenge:
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Last week’s prompt was DOOR. You came up with some excellent limericks:
I awoke half-propped up on the door,
My head was incredibly sore,
I really can’t think
What I last had to drink,
But I ain’t doin’ that any more!
.
I silently craved absolution
And framed a New Year’s resolution,
Like the raven of yore
I cried out ‘never more’
Will I quaff spirit without dilution!
Unused Door
The cell of my prison’s fine door
was opened. I stood on the floor.
Do I dare to go out?
Dare I run, walk about?
I stayed stuck so they locked the cell door.
Nicola Daly:
When I reached the top of Mam Tor
And bumped into Boris the Boar
I shrieked a deafening din
So that he jumped out of his skin
And then I legged it back to my fairy door.
I have to admit it was sore,
When I slammed my left hand in the door.
It was quite a to do:
All my fingers turned blue,
And I can’t feel the tips anymore.
I woke up today and was sore
So I put down my feet to the floor
Went searching for rub
Or pills I could chug
Yet I’d mistakenly opened the wrong door!
When missionaries come to my door
With their proselytizing I abhor.
I do my “I’m Jewish” act,
Show them no tact…
And tell them what circumcision’s for.
Once, I adored a wood door
For the fact that it wasn’t the floor.
Truth; it weren’t fair,
Nor an even compare.
And now fire’s made door, floor no more.
When destiny closes a door,
and you don’t want to play any more,
remember the songs say
tomorrow’s a new day
with portals you’ve not tried before.
Whilst opening or shutting a door,
one should always count from one up to four;
then from five to a million,
from a million to a zillion;,
and back down to one, via four.
.
The counting is not to be spoken in haste,
for the numbers are too lovely to waste;
the odd ones are best,
much more so than the rest,
and some are almost good enough to taste.
.
Okay; but, let us get back to the door,
a household necessity I adore,
whether open or shut;
the door makes the cut,
when it comes to choosing top four.
He left a bouquet at her door
Serenaded her with amore
Her on the window
Strong gusting winds blow
Lands on him now both are no more.
.
Cat’s paws always under the door
Stretching out so you can’t ignore
It realized too late
Someone opened that gate
Now he’s two paws short on the floor.
Susan Batten:
Every day will bring us a new door
if we think that life offers us more.
See the clouds flying high,
hear the child’s happy cry
and look forward to life’s precious store.
.
There’s a god in the wind, name of Janus,
who delivers events, sometimes heinous.
But just step through that door
if you want to know more –
there is so much out there that won’t pain us.
.
When Frodo set out on his quest,
he promised to give of his best.
“Cracks of Doom” marked the door,
with adventures galore.
Then he’d liberate all of the West.
Fools May Knock
There’s a rule long embraced in our folklore
That “the many” have no clue what they “stand for”.
The wise never blend.
They ignore every trend.
When fools ‘knock’ ’tis best to “lock your door”!
I close the blinds and shut the door
fluff my pillow, prepare to snore,
cast off in my coracle
seeking an oracle
and drift far away from the shore.
No Time for Anti-Versers
I hear the door’s knock. I don’t care;
don’t get up to see who is there.
I yell, “Go away
I’m busy today
pulling limericks out of thin air!”
There once was a hand very sore,
From intimate relations with a door
It suddenly grew
And turned very blue.
As for holding it could do it no more.
Anticipation
Twenty twenty six knocks on my door
Feel a flutter not felt much before
Choose to follow my heart
Trust my truth from the start
Spread my wings, take a leap, see me soar.
Murray Clarke:
Methinks, to write a limerick about a door
Would be something bordering on a chore.
A more boring word does not exist
But still, I suppose, I must persist!
“Oh good on you, mate!” I hear you roar.
‘Open Sesame’, the witch doctor said,
‘Else I’ll bang on you till my knuckles are red’:
The door laughed in his face
‘You’re in the wrong place,
I’m ajar on this side instead!’
Vero:
There came a loud knock at the door
Which was followed by a deafening roar
The UPS man went running
Chased by dog that was sunning
He won’t stop at our house no more!
The bartender gave Ted a pour,
Soon after, Ted asked him for more.
The drinks kept coming one by one,
Until Ted finally said, “I’m done!”
Then promptly fell to the floor.
I bundle up because it’s cold tonight
As I take a walk in the pale moonlight
I can’t walk back inside my homes door
Because I can’t handle to here you snore
So I pass my time walking until daylight.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
A young lady had boyfriends galore
As she found each one a bore
Her love life was quick
But it made her friends sick
Of her passionate revolving door.
Down besides the River Thames
there lived a door mouse whose name was James
A peripatetic nomadic mouse
He moved around from house to house
He carried with him his entire hoard
of Cheddar and Stilton
on a mouse cheese board
There once was a swinging door
It swung open and closed and more
It somehow learned to talk
When people through it would walk
“Watch out for the slippery floor.”
There once was a year, Twenty-Six,
That knocked with some hopeful new tricks.
We opened the door,
Dreamed bigger than before,
And laughed as the future played tricks.
There’s no Place Like Gnome
There’s a gnome whose hat is a cone,
He lives in a toadstool he calls home,
With a squeaky red door,
And an ice rink for a floor,
He skates like a whirling cyclone!
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
My ex-girlfriend is kind of insane
She’s wild, impossible to tame
I’ve bolted the door
It’s chained to the floor
Crazy she-devil, that is her name.
As I gaze at the pantry door,
My tummy rumbles for more.
A picture in my mind,
I hope I can find,
The leftovers from the day before.
Why on earth did I choose to ignore
The ‘Do Not Enter!’ sign on the door
My stupidity
could be the death of me
Trapped in this hellhole for evermore.
door open closed
ajar
both near and far
shovel and dispose
of the rat
the task
he gave me
oh goodness me
who’s the rat?
lmao
***
Esther Chilton 
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