How was your weekend? Ready for a new limerick challenge? Your word is:
CRUNCH
Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word CHANCE in it somewhere. You came up with some amusing limericks:
Chance or Community Chest.
I can’t decide which card is best.
Ten pounds for a beauty
Or two hundred duty.
Just draw one, there won’t be a test!
Nicola Daly:
There once was a billy goat called Lance
Who really, really loved to dance
He wobbled on his dodgy left knee
Whilst grooving to ‘Take a Chance on Me’
And can now only do a sort of prance.
Should I pass or should I play?
Perhaps I’ll take a chance today
Not dice nor card
Just playing a bard
Five quick lines, if I may.
Peter took quite the chance
Asking his girl to the dance
They slowly swayed
As the music played
Neither was up for a prance.
Olaf Sturlasson’s Poetry Corner:
This may be my last chance
I could join a class
But I think I will pass
Or maybe I will take that chance.
I thought I might take a chance,
My tango to enhance.
I muttered and tutted.
Slid round and strutted,
To perfect this seductive dance.
Joe only wished he had a chance
But Sue never offered a glance
One stare at his clothes
Jeans ripped in wide rows
And said, “not if you wear those pants!”
Joe knew that it was his last chance
If he wanted Sue at the dance
He got down on one knee
With a smile and a plea
Sue said yes with a grinning glance.
Take a chance on love he said
So I agreed to be wed
We spent many years
Through laughter and tears
Until the day he was dead.
We had the chance of a win
So rolled the dice for the pin
Of gold and diamonds
Each shaped like almonds
Such beauty, it made my head spin.
And now for something different from Trevor Belshaw. Enjoy:
The Wrong End of the Stick
I was stood in this bar at a holiday camp
at the bricklayer’s annual convention,
when a gorgeous blonde lass, way out of my class
waved at me to get my attention.
She put one long finger right up to her lips,
then winked her right eye once or twice.
I started to grin, thought, ‘blimey! I’m in.’
I was up by her side in a trice.
I said, ‘Hi I’m Rab, and I think you’re just fab.
How about a slow one then, Hun?’
She said, ‘You’ve no chance. I’m not going to dance.
I just noticed your flies were undone.’
***
Esther Chilton 
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