Happy Monday! I hope you all had a good weekend.
Your new limerick challenge is as follows:
NURSE
I’m having an operation tomorrow (hopefully, as it’s twice been postponed). So apologies if I don’t respond to your wonderful limericks. I will schedule some Monday and Thursday challenges for when I’m recuperating and then publish all your limericks when I’m back blogging.
Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word BUFF in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:
Old Ronnie went out in the buff
He wanted to show off his stuff!
A chicken was involved
And a crime, it was solved
Of a naked man covered in fluff!
A child is born in the buff
Mother says, “Not good enough!”
She dresses them up cute
In a sweet little suit
Cause going naked would be pretty rough.
There was a boy named Bobby Duff
Who played badminton in the buff
For a racket
He used his packet
To prove he was very, very tough.
“Try adding some white to your brown,”
Said Gilbert, the painting class clown,
“Add barely enough
To make it look buff
But don’t hold your brush upside-down!”
–
There’s many a male Alpine Chough
That thinks it’s especially tough.
Although it has muscle,
Despite all its bustle
I wouldn’t describe it as buff!
–
My girlfriend went off in a huff
When I tried to sunbathe in the buff.
She said, “It is rude
To be seen in the nude;
I saw you thus once – that’s enough!”
‘You see,’ said Jane, ‘in a huff;
‘With my fingers, snug, in my muff.’
‘I can both buff the tips,’
‘While I ward off the nips,’
‘And keep things from becoming too ruff.’
Tom bulled his boots and buffed his brasses.
On parade, he stood out from the masses.
But he was always late
And couldn’t shoot straight
So now he’s a butler in a royal palace.
She’d read of a stunning design:
One needed to wax, buff, refine.
Alas, for the miss,
Specifics, she skipped –
Her facial chrome treatment sure shines!
My boyfriend was really quite buff
Not even an inch of fat fluff
He went to the gym
And started to swim
He acted as though it were tough.
***
Esther Chilton 
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