Here’s to a great new week! Your new limerick challenge is as follows:
SHAKE
Your challenge last week was to write a limerick using the word CRUSH in it somewhere. Here are your masterpieces:
I once had a terrible crush
On a girl with the prettiest blush
I approached with a pout
She said, “Oi! Leave it out!
There is no need to bloodywell rush!”
Did I mention that she’s from Australia,
And she looked just like Iggy Azalea?
But she had a mishap
When she tried to do rap
So stuck to weekend bacchanalia?
She tried on another persona
Like that Capulet girl from Verona.
She took a few chances
With intimate dances.
Tales from the Mind of Kristian:
On my art teacher, I had a slight crush
He asked to see what I’d drawn in a rush.
So, I showed him my sketches
But men are such wretches!
What he said just made me quite blush!
Ritu:
Young Jane had a habit of blushing
When faced with one on whom she was crushing
Her cheeks would go red
She’d wish herself dead
So out of the door she’d go, rushing!
Crush the ice, add the Gin
Then pour the tonic in
Give it a stir up
Soon you can sup
The delicious taste of sin!
“Tease me. Hold me. Crush me. Squeeze me.”
Bony Tony would often tease me.
He’d hold me close
As I perched on his toes,
And he would never fail to please me.
Roy had a crush on Missy Sue
Though she treated him just like poo
She’d kiss each boy
Except for Roy
Leaving the lad oh so blue.
I can see that we’re both in sync
With old, crushed grape our favorite drink
And sure, it’s fine
That you call it wine
I just want to make you think…
It all began in an unholy rush
That ended in a deadly crush,
As one by one, their gasps
Stopped as they breathed their last.
Their cries gave way to a dreadful hush.
There once was a girl with a crush
On a guy that could make her blush
He kissed her one day
And she started to sway
So he caught her ‘neath the arms in a rush!
One day I ran into my crush
I gasped and started to flush
He was dirty and drunk
And smelled like a skunk
I was happy to be in a rush.
Oh why is it when facing my crush
Like a right berk I can’t help but blush
Butterflies in my belly
My knees turn to jelly
And my brain to a big pile of mush.
There once was a man named O’Malley
Who wished to be married to Sally.
He took things too far
By crushing her car
Whenst following her down an alley…
Linking People 2003:
Ligaments between vertebrae crush,
When Anaestheist insert needle deep, blush!
Instead of just under skin for local anaesthetic,
Which often leads to backache, apologetic;
After Spinal Block for say, Caesarean rush!
Esther Chilton 
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