Esther Chilton

3^rd September

Mum and Dad’s divorce came through today. Mum danced round the breakfast table singing, ‘I’m gonna get that man right out of my hair.’ She looked like a witch with her hair stuck up and a grin Tony Blair would have been proud of. Then she ran up to me and kissed me on the lips. Ugh. There’s nothing worse.

She told me that all men are bastards and my dad is the biggest one of the lot. No prizes for guessing how she feels about the divorce – and men. I always knew she wanted me to be a girl. Dad said she dressed me in frilly gowns when I was a baby. Great.

I don’t know how Dad feels about the divorce. I haven’t seen him for a few weeks. I doubt if he cares. He’s probably too busy with Tina or was it Tanya? He changes his girlfriend as often as he squirts mouth refresher into his gob.

I don’t care about the divorce. They always used to argue when they were together. It was like living in a horror movie. It was when they were happy you had to worry. They kept giggling and kissing like my mate Paul and his girlfriend. Gross, but it’s worse when it’s your parents. Especially when they were shouting and screaming at each other the next minute. At least they don’t do that anymore.

Dad moved out a year ago. He started to drink towards the end and all he wanted to do was watch cricket and leer at our twenty-year-old neighbour. I don’t miss him at all.

4^th September

The first day of school. I’m in year eleven now. It’s great to see all the weedy year sevens shaking as they look up me. Mum says I’ve got to work hard this year as I’ve got my GCSEs. She says she doesn’t know what’s got in to me lately. I don’t care. There’s more to life than books and qualifications – like being in Danny’s gang.

I always wanted to be in Danny’s gang. All the cool boys are in the gang. I used to be afraid of them. Bah! They’re soft as Mr Whippy’s ice cream.

Danny got a detention for picking a fight with Goofy Gordon today. Danny reckons he’s going to get the most detentions this year, but I’m going to show them all. Now they’ve accepted me, I’m not going to let them down. They took a bit of convincing at first. They thought I was a girly swot. I suppose I’ve always done well, but I don’t care about stuff like that any more.

Dad came round tonight. There was some woman called Diane clinging to him as if someone had wound invisible tape round them. Dad wanted to talk to Mum about the divorce. He looked sad, though it didn’t stop him having a go at her.

I went upstairs and turned the volume on my CD player up.  

5^th September

I got my first detention today. It was great. I was rude to Miss Matthews in English. Danny thought what I did was well wicked. It’s all about respect. I don’t think anyone’s ever respected me before except Grandad. But he doesn’t count and he’s dead anyway.

It was really stupid. I don’t know why, but I felt dead nervous when I told Mum about it. She cried when I told her. She hasn’t cried like that since Dad left. It made me want to cry, too. I felt like I’d let her down. I haven’t and I don’t ever cry. It’s all Mum’s fault. She shouldn’t have cried and she shouldn’t have made me feel like that. It’s only a detention.

Part two next week

***